Last year I had an experience that was awful but also amazing.
I was basically forced to hug somebody I strongly disliked.
And then there was an explosion.
Not a physical explosion like with shrapnel and so on…
More of an explosion of strong emotions and sensations in my body. I literally almost fell over from what I was feeling and how confused I was by it.
It felt like I went through a Star Trek transporter (yes I’m a nerd) and got my molecules rearranged in crazy ways, especially my heart molecules.
All this happened from a hug?
Well, actually, yes. At least it started that way…
Here’s what happened…
This girl, Dee, is a work colleague who I’d only said hi to once or twice.
We work at a bigger firm where it was possible to stay far away from her, and she’d annoyed me for no specific reason but just kind of her overall vibe.
I thought she seemed arrogant, she rarely smiled and she’d once told a colleague an opinion about something that pissed me off and struck me as vain.
I forget what exactly it was, something about social media, but I remember rolling my eyes and avoiding her gaze the next time she walked by my desk.
This girl’s a fake loser, I’d decided. Fuck her.
I didn’t really think of her more, and stuck to my job. In my personal life, I was going out on casual dates sometimes but was basically pretty bored romantically.
Then Dee got sick and apparently it was pretty serious.
At work my colleagues spoke about her and how she might not recover. They said it was an issue she’d had since adolescence that had flared up.
I admit feeling a pang of guilt for judging her so harshly based on basically nothing, but I pushed it down and got back to work.
Then one day Dee came back to work.
When she walked in people clapped and she was being supported by her friend Angela who was helping her walk.
She looked a little worse for wear, but she forced a smile. I still didn’t quite get what had happened with her health or how serious it had been, but I guess that is her personal medical information not my business.
I admitted to myself that it was good she was OK, but I still felt awkward and uncomfortable.
I looked away. But then people started hugging her, telling her how glad they were she was back.
My boss gave her a bouquet of flowers and she looked embarrassed.
Then my boss motioned at me to hug her.
“C’mon man, what’re you doing,” he whispered as he observed my reluctance.
So I went in for a hug. Dee looked like a deer in the headlights as I approached. I think she’d sensed I didn’t like her.
The first thing I noticed was that her eyes were actually really beautiful and intense.
The next thing I noticed was
7 things I felt when I hugged my twin flame
1) Intense spiritual warmth
I felt somehow warm inside my soul when I hugged Dee. I know that sounds so corny and I hate to see myself even write it.
But it’s true.
I felt warm all over, both physically and spiritually.
I felt like the morning sun was coming over the mountains and basking me in perfect warmth and radiance.
It was so intense.
I wondered if Dee could feel it too.
Seriously, I wondered, what the hell is going on.
But it felt so good that I held that hug a few seconds longer than I know was appropriate. I had to pry myself away.
2) Extreme euphoria
At the same time as I felt this warmth flooding me inside and outside, I felt intense euphoria.
All the sounds of the room faded away and I wondered if my coffee had been laced with some kind of strong drug that morning.
I felt like I was overdosing on dopamine.
You could have shown me proof that we’d all be dead in an hour and I still would have smiled like a goddamn cheshire cat.
I just felt so fucking amazing.
Again, this hit me out of the blue.
This young woman who I’d thought was a shallow bitch was hugging me half-heartedly and I was practically about to cry from how happy it made me.
I was absolutely flabbergasted by what I was feeling and didn’t even know how to begin to process it.
3) Suffocating sadness
The hug was an explosion, and like all explosions it radiated shockwaves out from the center.
Even though it only lasted maybe seven seconds, I spent hours that day dissecting and reexperiencing what had happened.
Because it was complex.
I’d also felt sadness under the euphoria and warmth, somehow.
It was like I was experiencing the pain that Dee had been through, as well as deeper traumas she was struggling with.
At the risk of arrogance, it felt like I was spiritually X-raying her and suddenly instinctively knew her at some ultra-deep level.
I couldn’t walk back from it.
I felt like crying with happiness, as I said, but I also felt this deep aching melancholy inside like what you feel when you want to cry for months but just can’t seem to let it out.
4) Overwhelming awe
Throughout this hug I was blown away by a feeling of overwhelming awe.
All thoughts of judgments I’d had about Dee immediately became irrelevant.
She could have been a serial killer and I still wouldn’t have been able to stop the rush of awe that shook me.
Every molecule of her existence was hitting me like a tidal wave. I could hear her breath as if it was in slow motion.
Her arms were half around me awkwardly and I could feel her hair touch my face.
My skin burned almost like an electric shock where her hair lightly touched me.
I felt awe, like I was in the presence of a divine being or something.
Was this the “divine feminine” my friend Rose had kept trying to get me to read about in order to become more sensitive to women?
Whatever it was, it was blowing me away.
Sign me up, enroll me in whatever cult this is, because this hug was epic.
5) Physical passion
OK yes, I was turned on.
I was incredibly turned on. I had to do the half bent-over walk after hugging her for a few seconds, so you do the math.
This woman who I’d formerly dismissed as a vain social media posting sycophant suddenly became more or less the reason for my existence.
I’d memorized every curve of her body and feeling of holding her in the few seconds I pulled her too me.
Without speaking any words, I felt this intense sexual energy pass from her to me.
It was like a spiritual orgasm. I could barely breathe.
You could have offered me a choice between winning the lottery and being physically close to Dee and I would have chosen the latter.
6) Immense mystery
Enveloping all of these simultaneous sensations was an intense feeling of mystery.
This woman who I’d dismissed so easily without meeting her was an intriguing puzzle.
I didn’t know her at all, but I desperately wanted to.
I felt like somebody who has struck gold, and I even realized that the level of my interest might be borderline unhealthy and obsessive.
She’s just a human being, I reminded myself countless times over the coming days while thinking about her.
But the puzzle remained…
This feeling that I’d never really know everything about her even if I spent my whole life with her.
And that intrigued me immeasurably.
7) A message straight to my heart
Another one of the things I felt when I hugged my twin flame is an actual verbal message.
I didn’t “hear” a voice exactly, but I had a telepathic sense of words being beamed into me, kind of like when a sudden awareness just hits you.
This person is special. This person is connected to you. This person is your destiny.
Absorbing this at the same time as all the other feelings was overwhelming.
I had no way to have seen it coming, but the power of the connection was undeniable.
Dee was blushing as I broke away from the hug.
It was so on.
A week later we went out for a drink
I stopped by Dee’s desk a few times in the coming days to ask how she was feeling.
It was obvious to both of us that something big had changed between us.
When I asked her out for a drink she said yes without hesitation.
Our sense of humor, eye contact, the feelings we had around each other were amazing, and I even opened up to her about hating her at first.
She said she’d thought I was a cardboard corporate dick when she’d seen me around the office at first, and we laughed about how wrong first impressions can be.
Everything flowed from there, and we connected on a level I never have before with anyone.
I realized that she was my “twin flame” several months later once we were in a serious relationship.
So that’s what this had all been about?
I was ready to believe almost anything after the power of our coming together, and Dee told me she believed we’d been together in a past life.
Honestly, she is probably right.
Our connection both physically, emotionally and intellectually was incredible.
Then it all became too much…
That’s how I got addicted to hugs. I touched Dee any time I could. Even when we talked, I preferred to talk while holding her.
When we first kissed? That’s a topic for an entire other article, because I practically had a heart attack.
On the more intimate side…
Sex was just like an extension of the constant closeness we had in every way.
It became so good that it actually became…too good.
Essentially, I started noticing that anytime I was away from Dee I felt empty, incomplete and lost.
I could barely tie my shoes without getting my “Dee fix” first. I started feeling like a drug addict.
I even hated when she slept on the other side of the bed away from me due to my snoring. I felt abandoned.
It was cute at the start, but I could see she was also starting to find me overly clingy.
The joking that I was a “Dee addict” became less of a joke and more of a reality.
We were becoming super codependent. Dee was in a role of “saving” me with her love and validation, while I was her sweet guy who “needed” her to be happy in life.
I felt like a loser.
That’s when I discovered a unique man online named Rudá Iandê, who was some kind of shaman in Brazil.
I’d heard the term but didn’t really know what it meant. But this guy was saying things that really made sense!
And he was brutally honest and direct.
I watched his free video on finding true love and intimacy and so many things clicked for me about the situation between Dee and I.
Now I understood what had gone wrong and was able to approach our relationship in a whole new way.
The twin flame burns brighter…
Taking the lessons I’d learned from the free masterclass, I was able to have a whole new approach to loving Dee.
The hugs got even more explosive and incredible, but I no longer had that codependent sort of craving like I’d die without them.
It felt more like an added bonus on top of the strength I felt inside and the love that Dee chose to share with me.
Our hugs were mature, exciting, whole, and somehow even more real and grounded.
What I’m saying is…
Really what I’m saying is be careful who you hug!
You just never know how high the sparks could fly…
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