The twin flame relationship is often held up as the pinnacle of romantic love.
But like all intense relationships, it can easily turn into codependency.
Maybe you were too much of a doormat. Or maybe you were often overly guilt-ridden and worried about their wellbeing.
It’s a lot to overcome if codependent behavior is in your life when dealing with your twin flame partner.
If you’re not sure if you are codependent on your twin flame or fear that you might be, there are many ways to tell.
Here are 10 warning signs that you might be codependent on your twin flame.
1) You feel like you can’t say no to them because they are so much a part of your life that you’re afraid to lose them.
Saying no to your twin flame is not the same as saying no to a friend or family member.
Your twin flame is supposed to be your “soulmate” after all, and in many twin flame beliefs, you’re so connected that without them you can’t exist or be happy.
Because of this, it’s hard to put your needs first.
You may feel like you have to do everything they want to do, and even if they don’t necessarily want that activity, you feel compelled to do it because of your connection.
A lot of people who aren’t codependent on their twin flame will say no if an activity doesn’t interest them.
They may not be thrilled about it, but they’ll work at making the best of it.
But when you’re codependent, you may feel like saying no means saying goodbye for good.
For example, you might never be able to say no to them when they ask you for money or help.
You feel like you can never say no to them when they ask you for a favor or a date.
You might even feel guilty about saying no and not doing what they ask all the time.
One characteristic of codependency is when you are fearful that they will leave you if you don’t stay connected with them.
If this situation is making you feel burdened, pressured, and drained then it’s a big sign that you’re not healthy and balanced in your relationship.
2) You worry about them more than you worry about yourself.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, you’ll find yourself worrying about them quite a bit.
If you think about your twin flame even for a brief moment, your mind may immediately default to worrying about them.
This might be because, in a lot of cases, people become codependent on their twin flame when they are in pain or suffering.
If you believe that your twin flame is the only person who will make you happy, then your thoughts will be focused almost entirely on this person.
You might be so worried about how their mindset is and what they’re going to do next, that you forget about yourself.
This means you’re only seeing one person’s viewpoint in the entire world and taking it as gospel.
Maybe you felt like your twin flame was too focused on their career or too focused on their friends, and when they didn’t give you the attention you wanted, you became fearful that they’d leave.
Maybe they were always working and you were afraid for them to be so much at work that they wouldn’t have enough time for you.
Maybe they were always going out with their friends and you were afraid they would leave you because they didn’t want to spend time with you.
Your twin flame may be a special person in your life, but if you give them the power to make you worry all the time, then you may be codependent on that person.
Hear me out.
While it’s important to take care of your twin flame, it is equally imperative to worry about yourself too.
Don’t let any other person’s well-being be the priority in your life.
3) You constantly try to please them because you feel like they are a part of who you are and the way you feel about yourself.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, you’ll constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells so that they’re happy and satisfied.
You’ll do everything in your power to please them because you want them to be happy.
This is a bad situation for two reasons.
Often, when people are very focused on how their twin flame feels about them, it’s because there’s some kind of self-loathing in the picture.
In other words, you might be in a position where you’re trying to make up for something else you feel or do.
You’re probably thinking, “If I’m good enough for him/her, then why am I still scared and self-doubting?”. This is a version of the stolen-self syndrome.
Another reason this is a bad situation is that it places too much pressure on the twin flame to meet your expectations rather than their own.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, you might be trying to control how they feel about themselves, what they do and don’t do, and even who their friends are.
This is not healthy.
It’s important to stop this behavior because it will prevent a truly fulfilling relationship with your twin flame.
So how can you deal with twin flame codependency in a practical way?
I know just the thing – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.
While watching it, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love (and keep it) for the first time – and finally offered an actual solution to twin flame codependency.
But it all starts with your inner relationship. Once you learn how to love yourself, giving and receiving love becomes a whole lot easier.
If you’re ready to take that journey, click here to watch the incredible free video.
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4) You feel bad, guilty, or ashamed when they are upset with you or angry at you.
This is a sign that you’re codependent on your twin flame.
In a codependent role, the feeling of shame is internalized.
Because of this, you’ll probably experience other emotions too because they don’t want to feel this way.
You feel as if their emotions are your fault and that it’s up to you to fix things.
You might feel scared they won’t love you anymore and they’ll leave you if you don’t make them happy right away.
You might feel guilty or ashamed about something that happened between the two of you, but it’s not your fault so you won’t say anything.
In a codependent relationship, there’s usually a lot of guilt.
The codependent twin feels like they’re constantly calculating their moves and if they don’t do things perfectly for their twin flame, then it means they hate them or are bad people.
You may feel attacked and rejected, which will make it more difficult to cope with the situation.
If this is occurring, then it’s important to make sure that you’re being honest about your role in the situation.
It’s time to stop second-guessing yourself and blaming feelings on others and start taking responsibility for your actions and behavior.
5) You feel powerless and hopeless because of the way your twin flame treats you or treats others.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, then you’ll feel like he or she explains things in a way that confuses you, makes it hard to understand, or seems to blame you for things that happened in the past.
For example, if your twin flame was mean to you about something small and said things like, “I’m so tired of trying to make you happy! All you do is ignore me and then hate on my friends!”
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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You may think to yourself, “There’s no way I could explain this situation in a way that would make them understand why I acted the way I did.”
So then you might feel as if you’re being blamed for something that’s not your fault.
In a codependent relationship, it doesn’t matter if something happened between the two of you.
Instead of expressing your perspective during this moment, it’s better to come back with respect and empathy.
6) You have trouble sleeping or eating because of them and/or their lack of interest in you.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, then it’s likely that you don’t have much fun or feel great about yourself in general.
You may feel guilty when you’re not thinking about your twin flame or feeling happy and energetic.
Without this closeness, honesty, and trust, you’ll probably think that something is wrong with you.
If this is occurring, then it’s important to create a healthy distance from your twin flame.
You may feel obligated to change in ways that don’t make sense to you.
You may feel like you’re the one who’s always trying to please them, but they don’t want to stop doing things that make you upset.
If this is the case, then it’s time to discuss it with them because an unbalanced relationship isn’t healthy.
7) You are afraid of being alone, even though you have a fully functioning life outside of your relationship.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, then you’ll probably feel a little bit sad or alone without them.
This can be a depressing place to start in life because you might have lost all of your friends, hobbies, and interests, but don’t feel like you can do anything to prevent it.
You might worry that this is where your twin flame will leave you because they’re better off without you.
Even if you’re married, this situation can easily occur if you’re always focused on your twin flame during the relationship, rather than yourself.
If this is the case, then it’s time to start moving forward and putting yourself first.
Sometimes, people are codependent by nature.
For example, if your parents are codependent and you spend most of your time worrying about them, you may tend to be codependent.
However, if you’re codependent on your twin flame, then it’s unlikely that this is the case.
In this situation, you’re probably trying too hard to be a good person to make up for something else that’s going on in your life.
You might find yourself thinking about them all day long, wondering what they wish they’d said to you, or wondering what they’re doing right now.
8) You wonder what they are doing all the time and you are dependent on them for everything.
If you’re codependent on your twin flame, then it’s likely that you might be spending too much time with them or thinking about them.
You might feel like they can make you feel better or more alive in whichever moment they choose to enter your life.
Now, this dynamic will cause you to become too reliant on them and vice-versa.
As a result, both of you may not be able to make decisions without each other or deal with the consequences of your actions.
This can lead to trouble in relationships and life because it’s hard for people to know what their boundaries are if they’re always relying on someone else for energy, support, and security.
Remember, when people are codependent on their twin flame, they can often feel like they’re doing a disservice to their twin by not doing enough to make him or her happy.
If this is the case, then it’s important to understand that people have a right to their feelings and thoughts because it’s still your job to make your own decisions and how you feel about them.
You have to start focusing on what you want and need in your life.
Now, let me ask you something.
If you’re dealing with twin flame codependency, have you considered getting to the root of the issue?
You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our complicated inner relationship with ourselves – how can you fix the external without seeing to the internal first?
I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.
So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve this codependency problem, start with yourself.
You’ll find practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video, solutions that’ll stay with you for life.
9) You feel like you’re doing more work than they are.
There’s also a chance that you might feel as if you’re spending all of your time trying to stay with your twin flame, while they do nothing in return.
It’s important to remember that when there’s a relationship between two people, then it requires both people to put in effort and energy.
What can you do?
It’s time to sit down with your twin flame and see what you can do to change things.
When people are codependent on their twin flame, they believe that the only way that they can feel alive is if their twin gives them positive energy and attention.
This means that when you’re codependent on your twin flame, then it’s likely that you might be afraid of being alone.
In this case, there’s a chance that you might be using your twin for stability or to fulfill your needs.
It’s important to ask yourself, why are you striving to make someone else happy?
This could lead to a dangerous situation because there is a fundamental need for each person to feel as if they are important.
So, it’s time to make the decision that no one can fill the voids in your life.
And to cap this article off:
10) You’re trying too hard to be good and prove that you love them.
Whether you’re a codependent or not, it’s natural for people to want to fill their lives with positivity and love.
However, if you’re codependent on your twin flame, then it’s likely that you might feel a little bit of pressure to prove that you’re worthy of being loved by your twin.
This can be harmful to you because no one can make someone else worth loving.
Codependency is often defined as something that occurs between two people.
While codependency can be hard to break with someone that you love, it’s important that you do because it can lead to disaster.
When people are codependent on their twin flame, then it’s likely that they might feel as if they’re doing a disservice to their twin by not doing enough to make him or her happy.
So even if you think that you’re putting in a lot of effort, you don’t feel like it’s enough.
It can be a very difficult situation for people to understand because there’s often a desire to be close to your twin flame without analyzing what you’re doing or why you believe that it’s wrong.
In some instances, you may feel as if you need someone else to tell you what they want or need because it’s difficult to make those decisions on your own.
And that’s it!
Twin flame codependency is very real and can be hard to deal with.
It’s important to ask yourself, why are you striving to make someone else happy?
But now that you know what’s going on, you can start working on moving forward by changing your behaviors and beliefs about your relationship.
The sooner you do this, the sooner you can start to find happiness and balance in your life.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
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Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder