It’s not easy finding a place in this crazy, chaotic world.
Throughout my life I’ve always found it difficult to feel at place, to fit in.
But, it’s definitely possible, and in this article, I’m going to show you how you can find your place in this world.
How to find your place
Finding your place in this world is a very personal thing. There is no formula, no set of steps to get you there. In many ways, it’s not about finding your place, but rather creating it.
In other words, it comes from the inside and grows outwards from there. But that hardly means you’re on your own.
There are valuable principles and guidelines that will help you find your place in this world, both internal and external. Let’s start with the internal.
1) Identify the disconnect
There’s a reason you feel out of place in this world.
Do you know what it is?
For some, it may be painfully clear, and identifying the disconnect is easy. For others, though, it may be more difficult.
A general sense of unease can lead to even worse feelings. Especially when it’s not readily apparent as to why.
So what can you do?
Take some time to step back and meditate. Think about how you relate to each of the elements in your life. Your work, your location, your friends, family, and so on.
Where do you find dissatisfaction? Where do you feel out of place?
Once you recognize the internal disconnect, you’ll be able to figure out what to do next.
It could be that something from your past is giving you unease. Here’s a great article that will help you to move past old regrets.
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2) Sift through all the bullshit
Life in our modern age has been constructed to fill our heads with all kinds of noise.
Products, sales, money, lifestyles, ambitions, the list goes on. It’s all a bunch of bullshit, and it can leave you reeling and misplaced.
Take the time to sift through it all. Figure out what truly resonates with you, compared to what you’ve been force-fed to think you need and want.
Searching inside of yourself will give you clarity of thought, intention, and motivation. You may still feel out of place, but at least you’ll have identified all the bullshit.
There’s no “finding yourself”, remember. There’s only you, and your ability to create a purpose and live it.
This article is great because it takes a closer look at the pop culture lie behind “finding yourself”, and finding your purpose.
3) Understand yourself better
“The final mystery is oneself”
— Oscar Wilde
How true that quote is. Understanding who we are is one of the most difficult things.
I’m here to tell you that you’ll never fully understand yourself. Don’t worry, though, that’s totally okay because that’s just a part of the journey. It’s part of the fun.
However, it’s important to be mindful of who you are. It’s important to understand how you react to things, interact with people, and live your day-to-day life.
Indeed, then, being mindful of who we are is vital to living fulfilled.
With that in mind, then, take the time to understand yourself better. The mystery of why you feel dissatisfied and out of place right now will become ever clearer as you grow closer to your true self.
4) Learn loyalty to your ideals
As you begin to understand yourself, it’s important to think about what you stand for.
Now, I’m not just talking about personal crusades or social justice. While those things are important to many people, it’s not the most important element to finding your place in the world.
Here’s what I’m talking about: personal ideals.
What are you living for, what makes you tick? Why do you get out of bed in the morning, what makes you happy and gives your existence meaning?
It’s different for everybody. Your ideals are yours alone. There are countless ways to share those ideals with people and the world, but it starts inside of you.
Once you understand your ideals, you can learn loyalty to them. Those ideals become values, and in turn, become realities.
But what does that mean, exactly?
It means that you can begin creating a life centered around what matters to you most. You can start making decisions and taking actions that reflect your values, whatever they may be.
Here’s the thing: ideals are abstract, and can never be fully reached. But that’s actually a good thing.
Here’s a fascinating article that explains why the idealized self is in reality the corrupted version of who you really are.
Now, let’s move on to the external.
5) Isolate key areas of discontent
Much like the first point, making affirmative changes starts with understanding your discontent.
Where in your life do you find yourself feeling the most out of place, or the most lost?
These are like thorns in your side, they sap your energy and happiness. You aren’t content, you don’t feel at place and that’s not good.
It’s not my position to tell you exactly how to fix this. Your journey is just as different as any other, and so there’s no rule. There’s no sentence, phrase, or altruism that will magically fix things.
Here’s the bottom line: You’re the architect of your own story, which puts you in charge.
It’s not going to be easy or straightforward, nor will it be sudden. But you can identify small things, things you can change right now, to live a more fulfilled life. A life where you feel at place.
It’s possible that all you need to change is the way you relate to your circumstances. Finding peace with your current situation is the fastest way to fulfillment and happiness. It’s good for your health, too.
Once you realize it comes from within, you can start making the changes you see best. You can create your place in this world.
6) Stop acting out of fear
Fear-based decision-making is not the way to find your place in this world, nor will it lead to satisfaction.
Here’s what I mean by that: no constructive change can happen when you are reactive.
Instead of always reacting, just act. Be proactive. This way you’ll be able to build a life that brings you satisfaction, peace, and happiness.
In other words, face your fears and don’t let them control you.
What are you afraid of? What scares you the most? Don’t let that fear rule your life, or dictate the decisions you make.
When you act out of fear, you’ll find no place in this world. However, when you act decisively — with intent and positivity — you’ll find satisfaction, peace, and fulfillment.
If you’re really struggling with feeling like you don’t belong anywhere, here’s a really great article that can help you figure out why.
7) Take ownership of your existence
I’ve touched on this concept a couple of times already but it warrants its own point.
Finding your place in this world is just as much about creating your place. In fact, I’d wager to say that no one just “finds” their place. They create it.
With that in mind, then, it’s so vital to take ownership of your existence. Your life is “the way it is” because you let it be that way.
Obviously, there are variables outside of our control that often put people, families, and even entire communities in a very bad place.
I’m not saying that taking ownership of your existence means taking the blame for things that you can’t control.
Here’s what I do mean:
We all face external forces that limit us, sometimes in heartbreakingly difficult ways. However, there’s always the potential for change, even if it’s only inside of ourselves.
Our tragic backstory does not define us, we define ourselves. Our current circumstances, no matter how difficult, do not limit us. We limit ourselves.
In that way, then, when we fess up to this self-told lie, we eliminate the illusion of entrapment. Once that illusion is shattered, there’s nothing to hold us back.
8) Go with the flow
It’s important to note that taking ownership of your existence does not mean taking control of it.
Control is one of the biggest illusions. In a world full of unknown variables and unending contingency, how can anyone say they have control?
To go even further, how can anyone say that they have complete control of themself, let alone anything else?
Even at my best, I still struggle to control my actions, thoughts, and decisions. No one can do it perfectly, or live up to their ideals.
Here’s where I get to my point:
There’s no sense in trying to control your life because you can’t. So go with the flow.
Roll with the punches. Take it in stride. Pick whatever cliché you’d like, the point is to stop trying so hard.
You can’t force anything into existence. Listening to the ebb and flow of life is just as important as taking proactive steps to creating your place in the world.
When we work with the flow of our life, we can create and build so much more, with so much less effort.
Finding peace, creating place
If you’re trying to find your place in this world, the most important thing to remember is that it comes from inside you first.
There’s no secret formula you can follow, there are no magic guidelines, no ancient knowledge to be revealed by a mysterious guru.
There’s only the knowledge that’s already inside of you, the most ancient and true of all.
Nobody can teach that to you. Only you can find it.
And when you find peace inside of yourself, then you can create your place in this world.