Entitlement is often a sign of privilege. Which is something we all have to varying degrees.
As your knowledge of the world grows as you get older, it’s in everyone’s best interest for you to use certain privileges to help your community.
Or at least become aware of them so you don’t let it get in the way of how you treat people.
Here are 6 traits of people who haven’t quite taken the time to do that.
1) They are takers.
Everything you do is an opportunity for them.
They view your blessings as their own and may take and take, with no intention of returning your generosity.
Like a spoiled child who never outgrew the environment where everything they needed was available for them.
So now instead of creating that resource or opportunity for themselves, they make other people the source of their solutions.
For some, it may be that they mirror and adopt your personality as well. Which happens in any close relationship in small degrees.
The difference in this case is that they’ve changed drastically since they met you.
It’s really important you set strong boundaries with them and do your best to say no. But I understand sometimes that it isn’t always that easy to limit someone’s access to you.
In that case, do your best to celebrate yourself and allocate your energy to finding people who selflessly support your achievements.
2) They’re resistant to positive change.
Positive change can be difficult for anyone. But it is rewarding beyond rewarding.
For entitled people, it’s like a personal attack on their existence.
Because for them, changing feels like there’s something wrong with who they are – and it’s hard to accept that. Even if it’s regarding how they treat others.
That means they avoid accountability like the plague and anything that resembles it.
Think of your energy as precious and yourself as worthy of relationships that are more balanced.
While it might seem like the obvious solution to this is to try and convince them to change, a part of learning how to roll with life’s punches is feeling like you don’t know everything.
No one is exempt from this. And for entitled people, wanting to be makes it hard for them to have control over their lives in a healthy way.
3) They are controlling of others.
So if you change, they may take that personally. They may try and talk you out of change, or act dumb when you confront them to control the narrative.
Besides weaponizing their incompetence through excuses, this also comes in the form of criticizing others so they have an air of authority over them.
For the people around them, it may not always feel like you’re walking on eggshells, but it will feel like you have to ask for permission to do the most basic of things.
Especially things that might make you more independent.
If you don’t have a healthy sense of autonomy and self-respect, it may be difficult to realize when someone is being controlling.
While it was difficult at first, I found that a lot of these kinds of dynamics taught me how to stand up for myself.
Because they helped me become conscious of certain beliefs I had about myself that kept me oppressed. Standing your ground and speaking up can help you prove these negative self-perceptions wrong.
Because in most cases, no, you’re not crazy or imagining things.
Ask for back up if you need to while you have difficult conversations with people.
Having someone else there that you trust can help you maintain more control over the situation and keep the situation from going sideways.
4) They have a victim mentality.
It’s always someone else’s fault.
When people lack the ability to take accountability for themselves, they will blame everyone else for the problems they have.
We can all get stuck in victim mentalities. It’s often the step right before you take control of your own life if you’re able to admit that you’re playing victim.
But for entitled people, this is a lifestyle. A pattern of behavior that keeps them stagnant where they’re at.
Now, for people with a lot of empathy or a history of chronic people-pleasing, it can be hard to see if someone truly has a victim complex, or are just cycling through negative emotions.
If you’re like me and you naturally tend to see the best in people, I suggest abandoning trying to analyze their behaviour. And instead focusing on how they make you feel.
Taking some time away to reflect on someone’s presence in your life is a form of self-care. If your life seems to improve in their absence, that’s usually indicative that they had negative patterns of behaviour.
If it helps you, you don’t need to question it.
5) They have high expectations for everything but themselves.
When people are overly entitled, they may want a lot from life but never do the work it takes to achieve those things. This can be for emotional, spiritual or material desires!
In other words, they love to complain.
Personally, I love to complain with a good friend. So I’m not calling out anyone who likes to let loose with a friend once in a while.
It’s more about people who make a habit of complaining and doing nothing about whatever they’re bothered about.
Even if it keeps them miserable.
Because putting yourself in situations that evoke strong emotions, then finding temporary relief by venting to someone nearby, and then repeating this over and over again, is not healthy.
Just as I suggested before, indulge in solitude to bring your focus back to yourself to create a baseline in your well-being.
6) They just aren’t very pleasant to be around.
Other than being negative, they may be rude, emotionally volatile, and unreliable.
Even if they had all the people in the world to give them everything they want, entitled people just aren’t satisfied with life.
For a lot of them, their entitlement is a coping mechanism because they have a deep subconscious fear that they aren’t deserving of the things they desire.
Because that would require them to try and fail.
So they may resort to brute force or unpleasant methods to get what they want to avoid such a thing. Because god forbid they’re vulnerable.
This can be by being demanding so you’re less likely to say no, throwing tantrums so you’re less likely to say no, and anything else so you’re less likely to say no.
The key here is to avoid getting caught up going back and forth with them. They aren’t trying to argue a solid point, and it will only drain you.
Don’t try to make things easier for them by exempting them from their responsibilities either. Treat them as any other adult that doesn’t require you to babysit or keep tabs on.
If your situation feels bleak, just focus on what you can do. Maintaining your well-being and seeking a strong support system is all you can do sometimes.
Once you get that down, the practical solutions will feel more manageable.
It’s important you don’t see entitled people as childish because a child is less likely to be aware of how their behavior impacts others.
So learning how to identify and set boundaries with them will come with many lessons on how to be more emotionally independent.
You may even become aware of unhealthy habits that you also possess.
But you will not be left exhausted and empty handed. This will help you attract more like-minded people and stop engaging in codependent dynamics.
And instead, experience interdependency between two adults.