10 traits of people who never let others dictate their self-worth

Why are some people more psychologically fragile than others? Why can some people take criticism on the chin while others crumble under it? 

It’s not surprising that people who don’t let others dictate their self-worth have certain trait patterns. Certain traits fortify you against having your self-worth defined by others. 

Here’s an overview of 10 traits of people who don’t let others dictate their self-worth. Let’s dive in. 

1) Humility: The honest mirror

At the heart of unyielding self-worth lies the Big Five personality dimension of honesty-humility. Humility is often overshadowed by its louder counterparts. It’s a quiet force — but it’s a force to be reckoned with. 

It’s more than just modesty — it’s an authentic acknowledgment of one’s strengths and limitations. 

Humility is highly valued across most world religions. It’s a concept that transcends cultural boundaries. 

Eastern philosophies like Buddhism and Taoism emphasize the importance of humility in attaining enlightenment. In Christianity, humility is recognized as the cornerstone of spiritual life. 

Those who embody this trait are more immune to capricious winds of external judgment.

When you think about it, it makes total sense. Humility allows you to see yourself as you are — no more, and no less. 

So, if others criticize you or try to devalue you, there’s no ego for them to injure — you just know who you are and that’s that.

2) Self-awareness: The good, the bad, and the ugly

Being self-aware is a game-changer. Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses allows you to navigate life with confidence. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about embracing imperfections and continuously evolving.

When you’re aware of your faults as well as your talents, you know what areas of your life need work. 

That’s why self-aware people don’t get as easily hurt when criticized or when someone acts unfairly toward them. It’s difficult for people to devalue you if you’ve already spent time evaluating yourself honestly and in detail.

Have you ever reflected on your own strengths and weaknesses? Having a clear overview of yourself in that way prevents you from being swayed by other people’s passing criticism or cruelties. 

How to practice self-awareness? Here are a few exercises that can help you. 

  • Meditate daily to clear your mind of clutter
  • Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses
  • Reflect on your behavior at the end of each day
  • Ask people you trust for honest constructive feedback

Keep in mind, if you’re going to open yourself up to feedback, you’ll need some mental resilience to cope with it. Be prepared for everything.

3) Mental resilience: Is that all you got?

Life throws you curveballs — sometimes hard ones. Mental resilience is the ability to weather storms and emerge from them in one piece or stronger. 

Resilient individuals view challenges as opportunities for growth, refusing to let setbacks define them. 

Mental resilience doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, either — it’s an earned badge of honor. Most of the time, people with strong mental resilience have been through a lot in life. They’ve created strong coping strategies out of necessity. 

It’s hard for someone like that to have their self-worth dictated by others. Having been through hell and back, they don’t need others to tell them what they’re worth — they already know.

Setbacks aren’t always roadblocks, though they can really feel like it at the time. Often, in retrospect, they’re more like detours and often lead to greater strength, life experience, and wisdom.

4) Authenticity: “I’m myself, not who you say I am” 

Authenticity has been scientifically linked to self-esteem. It shows that people who feel inauthentic are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem and vice versa. 

Put simply, you can’t dictate an authentic person’s sense of self-worth — not easily anyway.

But what does it mean to be authentic? 

According to a definition from Psychology Today, authenticity is acting according to your beliefs in every life situation. That means saying yes when you mean yes, and saying no when you mean no.

It means not lying to get people to like you or not hiding truths about yourself in fear of judgment. Authentic individuals stay true to themselves, never adopting a persona to please others.

pic1969 10 traits of people who never let others dictate their self-worth

5) Strong boundaries

It’s not easy to say no to people. It’s not easy to withstand peer pressure. And it’s not easy to stick to self-set boundaries when you’re the only one doing it. But we have to do it.

Boundaries are the shields that protect your self-worth. People who stand firm in their self-worth set and keep clear boundaries. 

How are your boundaries? Do you feel easily swayed, or is it easy for you to say no when you need to.

It’s important to reinforce that saying no isn’t always an indication of selfishness; it’s self-respect, too. 

Establishing boundaries safeguards your emotional well-being and reinforces your self-worth. When you respect yourself, you command respect from others.

6) Gratitude for life

How often do you stop to feel gratitude for the good things in your life? You’ve probably heard people raving about how spectacular gratitude is for your mental health. 

It’s not just pop psychology nonsense, either — lots of scientific studies support the benefits of gratitude. 

Here are just some examples of how it can help:

  • Improved mood
  • Better sleep
  • More meaningful interpersonal relationships
  • Boosted immune system

People who practice appreciation have a stronger psychological foundation and aren’t as susceptible to getting beaten down by others. It’s proven that gratitude is correlated to self-esteem.

How do you practice gratitude, you ask? Here are a few practices psychologists recommend implementing into your daily life:

  • Gratitude journaling
  • Savor good moments
  • Say thanks to your loved ones
  • Meditate on everything you’re happy about

Gratitude practice isn’t just good for solidifying your sense of self-worth, it also contributes to a productive and healthy lifestyle. If you’re practicing gratitude, you’re striving for excellence. 

7) Evolving Excellence 

Progress, no matter how small, fuels self-worth. I truly believe that there’s no such thing as being static — you’re either moving upward or you’re slipping downward. 

The universe is dynamic, nothing stays still, and it’s the same with people. We’re always moving and changing. The question is, do you want to sink into mediocrity, or evolve into excellence? 

If you’re someone who is always looking for ways to improve yourself, chances are you’re not going to let others dictate your self-worth. 

It’s not about trying to be perfect, either.

Perfection is an illusion and the idea of not being perfect can be damaging. Don’t strive for perfection. Strive to be better. 

8) Empathy: Towards self and others

Empathy isn’t solely for understanding others; it’s a tool for self-compassion. Those with unyielding self-worth extend empathy to themselves, acknowledging mistakes without self-condemnation.

Highly empathetic people understand that if someone else is attacking them or trying to diminish their self-worth, it’s likely because they’re operating from a place of pain. 

When people are happy, healthy, and fulfilled, they don’t try to devalue others. What are they going through to make them need to put others down? 

Secondly, when people have strong empathy for themselves, remarks from others have less impact. They don’t beat themselves up over failures or talk down to themselves internally. 

But the relationship between empathy and self-worth isn’t just conjecture. Psychological research has found a clear relationship between the two.

9) Iron-clad values

Personal values are the guiding principles by which we live our lives. Without them, we have no boundaries, no roadmap, and we might lack a sense of identity.

People with unwavering self-worth tend to have clearly defined values, and they uphold them without compromise.

What are your personal values? Are there situations in your life that cause you to transgress over your own standards? If so, it might be worth re-evaluating a few things.

Pause and reflect — are your actions aligned with your values? Values form the backbone of self-worth. Strengthen them, and you fortify the essence of who you are.

Your values are your own — don’t let others influence you to the point that you’re not upholding your own principles. It will have a negative influence on your sense of self-worth. 

10) High emotional intelligence

Understanding and managing emotions is like a superpower. High emotional intelligence allows you to navigate difficult life situations without getting bogged down.

It also helps you understand other people’s emotions and know that things they say may be coming from a place of pain.

How well do you understand your emotions? Emotional intelligence isn’t just about others; it’s about self-awareness and self-regulation. Master your emotions, and you master your self-worth.

Last thoughts

Self-worth defines how we see and feel about ourselves. Low levels of self-worth can manifest negatively in your life, so you don’t want to let it depend on how other people are treating you. 

Loving yourself deeply requires that you know yourself well. It also requires that you have good insight and control over your feelings and the emotions of others. 

It’s important to remember that when people put you down, it’s often because they’re suffering from low self-worth themselves. Don’t let it get to you.

Marie Lamb

Marie Lamb

Marie is a writer with an academic background in psychology and neuroscience. She’s also a qualified yoga teacher with more than 10 experience in Eastern practices. When she’s not writing about psychology and life, she’s reading and crafting stories, poetry, or prose.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

0:00
0:00