7 tiny habits that indicate you’re not loving yourself enough

1) You’re always putting other people’s needs before your own

We all know the importance of being there for others and lending a helping hand. However, when this becomes a constant habit and you find yourself always prioritizing others over yourself, it might be a sign of self-neglect.

It’s not about being selfish or ignoring the needs of those around you. It’s about understanding that you also have needs and they are equally important.

When you constantly put others first, you’re sending a message to yourself that your needs, wants, and feelings are secondary. This people-pleasing behavior can lead to feelings of resentment, stress, and burnout.

It’s okay to say no when you’re overwhelmed, because loving yourself means recognizing your own needs and making sure they’re met.

2) You’re always striving for perfection

In a world that often rewards perfection, this might seem like a positive trait. But the relentless pursuit of perfection can actually be a sign that you’re not loving yourself enough.

Perfectionism doesn’t equate to self-improvement. In fact, psychology suggests that it’s often rooted in fear and self-doubt. It’s the belief that unless you’re perfect, you’re not enough.

Perfectionism has many toxic affects, such as:

• It can lead to procrastination, stress, and anxiety
• It can make you overly critical of yourself
• It can prevent you from enjoying your accomplishments

Loving yourself means accepting that you’re human and humans are not perfect. It’s about embracing your flaws and acknowledging that making mistakes is part of growth.

3) You’re overly dependent on others for validation

We all seek validation and approval from those around us, it’s part of being social creatures.

However, when you find yourself constantly needing others to validate your worth, it might be a sign that you’re not loving yourself enough.

I’ve seen this pattern in many of the individuals I’ve worked with over the years. It’s a constant need for someone else to say you’re good enough, smart enough, or just simply enough.

This kind of dependence can be exhausting and ultimately, it doesn’t lead to genuine self-esteem. Because no matter how many compliments or affirmations you receive from others, if you don’t believe in your own worth, it will never truly sink in.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this issue and provide strategies to help free oneself from this cycle of dependency.

True validation comes from within. Loving yourself means understanding that your worth is not determined by the opinions of others but by how you see yourself.

4) You ignore your feelings

Feelings are our body’s way of communicating with us. They’re signals that something is happening within us and around us.

When you consistently ignore or suppress your feelings, you’re essentially telling yourself that your experiences don’t matter.

I remember a time when I used to push my feelings aside, thinking it was the ‘strong’ thing to do.

But I’ve learned over time that acknowledging and accepting your feelings is one of the bravest things you can do.

You see, ignoring or resisting your feelings doesn’t make them go away. In fact, it often amplifies them.

Listening to your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, is an act of self-love. It’s about honoring your experience and allowing yourself to feel without judgment.

5) You’re constantly criticizing yourself

We all have an inner critic. It’s that little voice in our heads that points out our flaws and mistakes.

But when this voice becomes a constant companion, it’s a sign that you’re not loving yourself enough.

I used to struggle with this myself. My inner critic was always ready to pounce on my every mistake, magnifying it until it felt like an insurmountable failure.

But here’s the truth: We all make mistakes. We all have flaws. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less worthy or any less deserving of love and respect.

Criticizing yourself relentlessly doesn’t lead to improvement. It leads to self-doubt, fear, and stagnation.

Loving yourself means silencing that inner critic and replacing it with a voice of kindness and compassion.

6) You’re not setting boundaries

Boundaries are an essential part of self-care and self-love. They communicate to others, and to ourselves, what we will accept and what we won’t.

I confess, there was a time when I struggled with setting boundaries. I was afraid of disappointing others and ended up feeling drained and taken advantage of.

As the wise poet and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” This quote always reminded me of the importance of setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries is about respecting yourself. It’s about understanding that your time, energy, and feelings are valuable and should be treated as such.

7) You’re not taking care of your physical health

Self-love isn’t just about your emotional well-being, it’s also about taking care of your physical health.

When you neglect your body, whether it’s through a poor diet, lack of exercise, or not getting enough sleep, it’s a sign that you’re not loving yourself enough.

I’ll be honest. I’ve definitely been guilty of this.

There have been times when I’ve let work or other commitments take priority over my physical health. And every time, I’ve regretted it.

Your body is the vessel that carries you through life. Treating it with respect and care is one of the most fundamental acts of self-love. It’s about understanding that your body deserves to be nourished, rested, and cared for.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these tiny habits is a powerful step toward embracing the self-love you deserve.

It’s not about beating yourself up for what you haven’t done, but about gently guiding yourself back to a place of compassion and care.

One video that I highly recommend for anyone on this self-love journey is by Justin Brown. He discusses an incredibly transformative mirror exercise featuring five powerful questions to enhance self-love and improve your relationship with yourself.

It’s a great tool to help you delve deeper into understanding your own strengths and boost your self-confidence.