7 things you don’t realize you’re doing that make people want to be around you

Some people seem to effortlessly attract others to them like moths to a flame.

But let’s get real for a moment.

You might not feel like one of those people. It’s easy to believe that being likable is a trait reserved for the charismatic, the confident, or the extroverted.

But here’s where I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

You see, often, it’s not about grand gestures or vibrant personalities. It’s about the small, subtle things we do every day that make people want to be around us.

And guess what? You might be doing some of these things without even realizing it!

In this article, we’re going to explore those seemingly insignificant behaviors that can make a significant impact on how people perceive us.

So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “What is it that makes people want to be around me?” stick around. You might just find the answer you’re looking for.

1) You’re a good listener

You’re pouring your heart out to someone, only to realize that they’re not really paying attention.

They’re nodding and making the right noises, but their eyes are glazed over or they’re sneakily checking their phone. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Now flip the scenario.

When you’re the one lending an ear to someone’s joys, worries, or stories, you probably don’t just nod along. Without even realizing it, you’re actively listening.

You’re present in the moment, giving them your full attention, showing genuine interest in what they have to say.

Here’s the thing.

People gravitate towards good listeners. In a world where everyone is eager to talk, those who take the time to listen are a breath of fresh air. It makes people feel valued and understood.

2) You’re not afraid to show vulnerability

For the longest time, I thought strength meant never letting my guard down, never showing any cracks. But let me tell you a story.

A few years back, I was going through a rough patch. Everything seemed to be falling apart and I felt like I was failing spectacularly. Instead of putting on a brave face, I chose to share my struggles with a few close friends.

I was terrified they’d see me as weak or a burden. But to my surprise, they appreciated my honesty and vulnerability. It brought us closer and made our friendship stronger.

You see, it’s our vulnerabilities that make us human and relatable. When you’re open about your struggles, it makes others feel comfortable sharing their own. It fosters deep, meaningful connections.

3) You genuinely celebrate others’ success

Let’s talk about something many of us have experienced but few of us admit to – envy.

You know what I’m talking about.

That feeling when someone you know lands a dream job, goes on an exciting vacation, or generally seems to be living a life straight out of a glossy magazine.

It’s easy to slip into a mindset of comparison and envy, isn’t it?

But then there are moments when you find yourself genuinely happy for them. You’re the first one to congratulate them, to celebrate their success as if it were your own. There’s no room for envy because you’re too busy feeling proud and excited for them.

People can sense genuine happiness. They can tell when you’re truly happy for them and not just going through the motions. And that is incredibly attractive. It makes them feel good about themselves and about being around you.

4) You’re comfortable in your own skin

You know those people who seem to radiate a certain aura?

They may not be the most attractive or the most successful, but there’s something about them that catches your eye. They seem to own the room without even trying.

I’ve found that this often comes down to one simple thing – they’re comfortable in their own skin.

They embrace their quirks, their flaws, their strengths, and their weaknesses. They don’t try to fit into a mold or pretend to be someone they’re not. They’re just… them.

And you know what? It’s incredibly liberating and contagious.

When you’re comfortable with who you are, it gives others the permission to do the same. It creates a safe space where people can let down their guard and just be themselves without any fear of judgment.

5) You spread positivity

signs that youre a positive influence on someones life 7 things you don't realize you're doing that make people want to be around you

Positivity is infectious.

No, that’s not just a feel-good phrase. We unconsciously mirror the emotions of those around us, which means that if you’re spreading positivity, it’s likely affecting those around you in a good way.

But here’s the kicker.

Spreading positivity doesn’t mean that you’re always chirpy or that you never have a bad day. It simply means that you choose to focus on the bright side of things and try to lift others up when you can.

Keep shining your light, it’s making a difference!

6) You show compassion

Life can be tough, can’t it? We all face challenges, we all have our battles. Sometimes, what we need most isn’t advice or solutions, but simply someone who understands, someone who cares.

That’s where compassion comes in.

Compassion is about acknowledging the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it. It’s about being there for someone in their time of need, offering comfort, understanding, and patience.

It’s not always easy, but it’s deeply rewarding. It creates bonds that last a lifetime and enrich our lives in ways we never thought possible.

You might not even realize you’re doing it, but every time you show compassion, every time you lend a helping hand or offer a shoulder to lean on, you’re drawing people closer to you.

You’re creating an environment of trust and safety, and that’s something people naturally gravitate towards.

If you find yourself frequently displaying compassion – don’t underestimate the impact it has. It’s a small act with a huge payoff – making the world a kinder place and making people want to be around you more.

7) You are authentic

This is it. The most important thing of all.


In a world where many of us are constantly trying to fit in, to meet expectations, to blend with the crowd, authenticity stands out like a beacon.

Being authentic means being true to yourself. It means embracing your individuality and expressing your true thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. It’s not about being perfect or pleasing everyone. It’s about being real.

And that, my friend, is magnetic.

People are drawn to authenticity. They appreciate honesty and integrity. They respect those who have the courage to be themselves, even when it goes against the grain.

Embrace your magnetism

As you’ve scrolled down this list, you may have found yourself nodding along, recognizing some of these habits in yourself.

And if so, know that these are the things that make people want to be around you, the things that make you magnetic.

But remember this – being likable isn’t about doing things to please others or to fit in. It’s about being your authentic self, embracing your strengths and your flaws, and treating others with kindness and respect.

And the true beauty of it?

You’re already doing it. Perhaps without even realizing it.

You see, magnetism isn’t a quality that’s reserved for a select few. It’s not about being the loudest in the room or the life of the party. It’s about being you.

So as you move forward, keep these habits in mind. Be aware of them. Cherish them. But most importantly, keep being you.

After all, there’s only one you in this world. And that alone is something truly special to be celebrated.

Picture of Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling has a background in entrepreneurship, having started and managed several small businesses. His journey through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship provides him with practical insights into personal resilience, strategic thinking, and the value of persistence. Ethan’s articles offer real-world advice for those looking to grow personally and professionally.

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