12 things that men think women find attractive, but they actually don’t

Boys and girls, they’re different, right? Not just in looks, but how we think too. Especially when it comes to what’s attractive.

Guys sometimes think they’ve got it all figured out. They believe they know exactly what women want. But often, they’re way off target.

This can lead to awkward moments, even relationship disasters.

In this article, we’re going to clue you in on 12 things guys think girls find irresistible… but honestly, they don’t.

So gentlemen, are you ready for a reality check? Let’s get started!

You might be in for a surprise!

1) Excessive grooming

Guys, it’s great to take care of your appearance. It’s attractive when a man values cleanliness and presents himself well. But there’s a fine line between grooming and overdoing it.

Many men believe that women are attracted to guys who spend hours perfecting their look – sculpting their beard to perfection, slathering on heaps of hair gel, or even obsessing over their clothes.

In reality, most women appreciate a man who is clean, tidy and well-dressed, but they don’t necessarily want someone who spends more time in front of the mirror than they do.

2) Flaunting wealth

Sure, financial stability is important. But guys, flashing your cash isn’t the way to a woman’s heart.

Some men believe that the more they show off their wealth – the fancy cars, the designer clothes, the expensive watches – the more attractive they’ll be to women.

But here’s the truth: while women do appreciate a man who can take care of himself (and potentially a family), they’re not attracted to blatant displays of wealth.

In fact, it can come off as shallow and insincere. Most women are more interested in who you are as a person rather than what’s in your bank account.

3) Showing off muscles

Hey, I’m the first to admit that a good workout routine is important. It keeps you fit, healthy and yes, it can make you look good. But trust me, flexing your muscles every chance you get isn’t as attractive to women as you might think.

I remember a time when I was at a beach party. There was this guy, let’s call him John. John spent the entire afternoon walking around shirtless, flexing his muscles and showing off his six-pack to anyone who’d look his way.

But instead of attracting the ladies, he became the butt of jokes. Why? Because while physical fitness is attractive, showing off to such an extent can come off as vain and self-obsessed.

Women typically prefer men who are confident in their bodies without feeling the need to constantly show them off. So guys, it’s great to be proud of your physique, but remember there’s a time and place for everything.

4) Being overly flirty

Ever heard the saying, ‘too much of a good thing can be bad’? Well, it applies to flirting too.

Many men believe that being overly flirtatious is the way to a woman’s heart. They think that showering her with compliments and attention will make her swoon.

But truth is, excessive flirting can actually be a turn-off. While women do appreciate flattery, they also value authenticity and meaningful conversations.

So guys, striking a balance is key. Be genuine with your compliments and show interest in getting to know her as an individual, rather than resorting to constant, over-the-top flirting.

5) Being the tough guy

There’s a common misconception among men that women only like the tough, macho guys – the ones who never shed a tear, never show fear, and never express their feelings.

But let’s be real. We’re all human, and we all have emotions. It’s what makes us who we are.

Being the ‘tough guy’ all the time can actually push women away. It creates a wall that stops them from really getting to know you.

Most women are attracted to men who are comfortable with their emotions and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability. It’s about being real, not pretending to be a superhero.

So guys, don’t be afraid to show your true feelings. It doesn’t make you less of a man. In fact, it might just make you more attractive.

6) Always taking charge

pic2507 12 things that men think women find attractive, but they actually don’t

Back in college, I fancied myself quite the leader. I thought that always taking charge and making all the decisions would make me more attractive to women. From choosing the movie to watch, to deciding where to eat – I insisted on calling all the shots.

However, my then-girlfriend sat me down one day and explained that while she appreciated my confidence, she also wanted to have a say in our activities. She told me that always making decisions without considering her opinion made her feel less valued.

That conversation was a wake-up call. I realized then that while it’s great to be decisive, it’s equally important to respect your partner’s opinions and make decisions together.

So bros, remember this: a healthy relationship is about partnership and compromise. Always taking charge without considering your partner’s feelings can be more off-putting than attractive.

7) Talking about exes

Guys, let’s cut to the chase. Talking about your exes on a date or in a conversation with a woman isn’t attractive. It’s actually a major turn off.

Some men think that talking about their past relationships shows that they’ve been desirable to other women. But honestly, it just makes you look like you’re not over your ex, or worse, that you’re a serial dater.

Women want to feel special and unique, not like they’re just another name on your long list of past flames.

8) Excessive teasing

Teasing can be fun and flirty, but when it’s excessive, it can quickly become annoying.

Think about it. It can create feelings of discomfort or insecurity in the person being teased, especially if the teasing targets sensitive topics or repeatedly highlights perceived flaws. Additionally, excessive teasing may cross the line from playful banter to outright bullying, causing emotional harm and eroding trust in relationships.

That’s not all. Constant teasing can disrupt communication and hinder genuine connection, as it may overshadow meaningful conversations or create a sense of tension.

9) Being a know-it-all

I have a friend, let’s call him Mark. Mark prides himself on being a ‘know-it-all’. He believes having an opinion about everything and overruling others with his knowledge is a sign of intelligence, and therefore, attractive.

However, during a group dinner, a female friend pulled me aside and shared how off-putting she found Mark’s constant need to dominate every conversation with his opinions. She said it came across as arrogant rather than intelligent.

That made me realize that while it’s great to be knowledgeable, it’s equally important to listen to others and respect their viewpoints.

10) Being overly possessive

Listen up, guys. There’s a huge difference between being protective and being possessive. Women are not objects to be owned or controlled.

Some men think that showing possessiveness is a way of showing love or care. But honestly, it’s suffocating and a red flag for unhealthy behavior.

Make no mistake: women value their independence and personal space just as much as you do, and you should respect that.

11) Constant bragging

Nobody likes a show-off, guys. Constantly bragging about your achievements, your possessions, or your skills doesn’t make you attractive. It makes you look insecure.

Sure, it’s great to be proud of your accomplishments. But there’s a fine line between sharing your success and turning every conversation into a self-promotion campaign.

Keep in mind, humility is attractive. Let your actions speak louder than words.

12) Trying too hard

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, stop trying so hard to impress. Women can sense when you’re not being genuine.

Whether it’s pretending to like something you don’t or agreeing with everything she says – if it’s not ‘you’, don’t do it.

Authenticity is attractive. Be yourself, and the right woman will appreciate you for who you are.

Dismantling the myths: What women really want

In conclusion, it’s time to debunk the misconceptions surrounding what men think women find attractive.

From excessive displays of wealth to exaggerated machismo, these assumptions often miss the mark and fail to resonate with real desires. Instead of relying on outdated stereotypes, men should prioritize authenticity, empathy, and mutual respect in their interactions with women. Genuine confidence, kindness, and emotional intelligence are far more appealing qualities than superficial displays of status or dominance.

By shifting the focus from outdated notions of attractiveness to genuine connection and understanding, men can build healthier, more fulfilling relationships with women. 

Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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