Do you see yourself as a confident woman?
While the way we show up in the world can reveal how self-assured we are, how we act in our romantic relationship is a HUGE indicator of our true self-image.
It’s easy to fake confidence in a big business meeting or important interview, but masking insecurities in romance is another story.
Genuinely confident women are secure within themselves, so they don’t battle with endless worries, concerns, or anxieties around their relationship.
If you never worry about the following 10 things, chances are you are a pretty badass babe, too!
1) Whether their partner will leave them
Confident women are self-assured – they do not fear abandonment. They know their worth and that any man is lucky to be with them.
This is because they possess the secure attachment relationship style, which, according to the attachment theory, means they trust their partner without fearing they will abandon them.
So, if a man does decide to leave, you won’t find a confident woman obsessing over what they could have done to cause him to do so.
Instead, they simply see it as his loss. In the words of Beyonce, “To the left, to the left.”
2) Spending time apart
A woman who does not worry about things like whether their relationship is working out or if their partner still loves them will have no fear about spending time apart.
Confident women are happy spending time alone and pursuing their own interests.
They know that spending time apart and doing different things will not jeopardize the relationship – if anything, it will strengthen it!
Research supports this too…
Studies conducted by psychologists and sociologists have shown that couples who spend regular time apart are more likely to experience higher relationship satisfaction than those who spend every waking hour together.
One study even found that couples in long-distance relationships can experience more intimacy than those who live together.
3) Who their partner speaks to or spends time with
However, as confident women are secure within themselves, they don’t overthink things like:
- Who their partner is texting
- What the intention of their partner’s female colleague is
- If their partner fancies that pretty waitress he was being friendly with last night
That’s why you’ll never find a confident woman secretly checking their man’s phone or worrying about who they might talk to while out with their mates.
4) Meeting all their partner’s needs
According to doctor and author Sharon Martin, an excessive need to please our partner is due to low self-esteem, a fear of rejection, or a desire for validation.
If you are insecure in your relationship, you will likely worry that your partner will leave if you don’t meet ALL their needs. You may also believe the more you do for them, the more they will love you.
Unfortunately, this often results in putting your partner’s needs above your own and neglecting your own self-care.
Confident women are different…
They know they cannot care for anyone else if they don’t take care of themselves first.
Self-assured women also know they are NOT responsible for their partner’s happiness, just as their partner is not responsible for making them happy.
Happiness comes from within, so confident women empower their men to access contentment within themselves.
Insecure women, on the other hand, will run around like a headless chicken, doing everything and anything to make their partner happy.
5) Their partner’s past
According to a 2017 research paper published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, people who have cheated in the past are more likely to cheat again, especially if they have a long track history of infidelity.
If your partner has made some bad mistakes before, this doesn’t mean they will do the same again.
While insecure women will let their partner’s past mistakes drive them into a web of worry and insecurity, confident women are different.
Self-assured ladies know that the perfect man doesn’t exist and that we have ALL made mistakes before.
So confident women don’t expect their partner to be flawless, nor do they keep bringing up their partner’s past or use it as ammunition in an argument.
Instead, they put the past behind them and look to the future.
6) Their own past
The same is true for their own past. Confident women don’t obsess over what their partner thinks about their previous mistakes or “body count.”
There is a very toxic culture right now around a woman’s body count (how many men she has slept with).
While men with high body counts are seen as more desirable, women with many sexual partners are labeled as “low-value” women.
Insecure women will worry about whether their partner thinks they have slept with too many men. They fear their man will be less attracted to them if they tell them about their past.
However, confident women don’t get caught up in this toxic culture and don’t believe in the labels “high-value men” and “high-value women.”
As a result, they don’t try to hide their past or lie about it. Instead, they are open and honest, which brings me to another thing that confident women are not afraid of doing…
7) Having difficult conversations
As insecure women try to please and keep their partners happy to prevent them from leaving, they often avoid voicing their concerns.
So, if they have a problem or are unhappy about something, their default reaction is to stay quiet and push it aside.
Of course, this does more damage than good, leading to resentment.
Confident people, on the other hand, know that communication is vital in a relationship.
So, self-assured ladies will never do the following:
- Avoid telling their partner how they genuinely feel
- Say they are okay when they are not
- Tell their partner what they think they want to hear to keep the peace
- Let arguments and conflicts go unresolved
8) How they look without makeup
Many insecure women worry that if their partner sees them without makeup on or with messy hair, they will no longer find them attractive and leave.
They’ll go to extremes to prevent this, like waking up before their partner to secretly apply makeup.
And statistics support this…
A shocking 54% of 18-30 year old women surveyed said they don’t let their partner see them without makeup during the first year of the relationship!
The reason the other 46% do let their partner see them barefaced is because they are secure with themselves.
Confident women don’t have the fear that their partner will find them less attractive or leave them because of something so trivial.
9) How their relationship looks to others
You know that girl who posts excessive pictures of her and her partner and constantly brags about all the wonderful things he does for her?
Yeah, this is not a confident woman at all.
Self-assured women do not see any need to plaster their relationships all over social media. They’re too busy enjoying their time with their boo to think about snapping selfies every few minutes.
Confident women also don’t try to make their relationship look a certain way. They aren’t afraid to have an “unconventional” relationship.
As there are many ways to have a romantic relationship, a lot of things can be seen as unconventional in society, such as:
- Living separately
- Choosing not to have kids or get married
- Keeping your finances separate
- Being non-monogamous
Interestingly, research is starting to explore the potential benefits of unconventional relationships, and the results are surprising. For example, some studies have shown that people in non-monogamous relationships have higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
Of course, social norms are what stop most people from going down the unconventional relationship route – even if they don’t actually like the idea of a traditional partnership.
In fact, you will see many insecure women pressuring their partners to propose or start a family purely to follow convention, not because that is what they truly want.
But confident women, on the other hand, are not scared to go against the grain.
10) What other people think of their partner
Confident women trust their instincts when it comes to men. If they feel a connection and believe he is a good guy, that is enough for them.
They don’t care about the opinions of others because they know this is unreliable information. Opinions often come from a place of envy or that person’s own insecurities.
While we all have people we are close with, no one knows us more than we know ourselves. Confident women get this – they know what is best for them.
If you resonate with this list, congrats – you’re a strong, confident lady who knows her worth!
And if you do struggle with some of these worries, don’t fret. Confidence is something we must build, and it all starts with self-worth.
To improve your self-esteem, reflect on your positive traits, start saying “no” to things that don’t serve you, and prioritize self-care.