10 things self-aware people never do in relationships

Are you tired of feeling stuck in your relationships? Do you feel like you’re always repeating the same patterns and getting the same results? If so, you’re not alone. 

Relationships can be tricky, and it’s easy to fall into the same old habits without even realizing it. But the good news is that with self-awareness and a commitment to growth, anyone can create healthy and fulfilling connections with others.

In this article, we’ll explore 10 things that self-aware people never do in relationships. Let’s get it!

1) They never make assumptions

Here’s the thing: self-aware people understand that assumptions can be dangerous in a relationship. They know that jumping to conclusions tends to lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and ultimately, strained relationships. 

Instead, they ask questions, seeking to understand their partner’s perspective. For example, if their partner is being distant, instead of panicking, they might gently inquire, “Hey, is everything okay? You seem a little distracted today.” 

They understand the importance of open communication and empathy in healthy relationships. 

2) They never ignore red flags

Another thing self-aware people know is that ignoring red flags is like sticking your hand in a blender and hoping for the best. 

They pay attention to warning signs and take them seriously. If their partner is constantly canceling plans or refusing to meet their friends and family, they might recognize this as a potential red flag for commitment issues. 

Instead of making excuses for their partner’s behavior, they address the issue head-on and make a decision based on their own well-being.

By being attuned to these warning signs, self-aware people can make informed decisions about their relationships and save themselves a whole lot of heartache! 

3) They never make decisions without considering their partner’s feelings

As you know by now, communication and collaboration are the foundations of a healthy and harmonious relationship. 

Self-aware people understand that decisions made by one party unilaterally can cause resentment or even harm to the partnership. 

Say you’re planning a big surprise bash for your partner but your partner has specifically asked you not to do so. Surprises only work if they’re done right, with the right intentions.

If your partner hates surprises or has a particular aversion to them, then planning one without their knowledge or consent isn’t going to end well. 

Maybe they’d prefer a quiet night in with their favorite movie, or a weekend getaway to a place they’ve always wanted to visit. 

The point is, surprises can be a great way to show your partner that you care, but only if they’re done with consideration for their feelings and desires. Otherwise, this can be perceived as selfish behavior–and nobody wants that! 

4) They never play mind games

can you feel your soulmate before you meet them 10 things self-aware people never do in relationships

Fun fact: self-aware people know that mind games are for children and board games are for adults. 

They never try to manipulate or control their partner or use tactics to get what they want.

Instead of using guilt to get their partner to do something they don’t want to do, they’ll express their support and understanding for their decision. 

By talking openly and honestly, they foster a relationship based on mutual respect and trust.

So next time you’re feeling insecure about your relationship, be open to your partner about your feelings instead of trying to make them jealous or playing hard to get!

5) They never compromise their values

Compromising values is like putting on a suit that doesn’t fit. Eventually, you have to cut your losses and get a new suit. 

Self-aware individuals prioritize their beliefs and principles, even in the context of a relationship. You don’t change your own identity to please someone else–this means losing your sense of self, a valuable thing.

I’m not religious but a former partner (who I previously had a massive crush on) was. So I thought that, hey, maybe I could be too!

To build rapport, I’d attend church with her (and her family), assuming the role of the clean-cut, pious boyfriend, even though I knew somewhere in the back of my head that this was all a farce. 

Eventually, when we did finally get together, the cracks began to surface. I wasn’t the devout partner that I claimed to be. 

Soon the relationship ended and I knew that I could never compromise my fundamental values to please someone again–this was being dishonest to her, myself, and everyone else involved. 

6) They never stop working on themselves

We touched on sense of self in the previous point, so let’s take that a step further: when in a relationship, no matter how intense, the self-aware person will maintain their independence as a person. 

Self-aware individuals understand that personal growth is a lifelong journey, and they make a conscious effort to work on themselves both as an individual and as partners in the relationship.

Personal growth can take many forms, such as learning a new skill, attending therapy or counseling, reading self-help books, or simply reflecting on one’s own thoughts and behaviors. 

It’s your life, after all; you must value your autonomy as a human, and not let go of yourself

7) They never avoid responsibility

From my experience, taking responsibility is like eating vegetables – it’s not always fun, but it’s good for you in the end.

People who are self-aware take ownership of their actions and never blame their partner for their mistakes. This is counterproductive and will only erode trust. 

If they forgot about an important event, like an anniversary or birthday, they’ll tell them something along the lines of: “I’m incredibly sorry I forgot about that. I take full accountability. I’ll make it up to you,” and actually mean it. 

They apologize when they’re wrong and work overtime to make things right. They also understand that avoiding responsibility can lead to a breakdown in trust and respect. 

8) They never dismiss their partner’s interests 

emotionally intelligent people do in relationships 1 10 things self-aware people never do in relationships

As you know, self-aware people understand that individuality is important in a relationship. 

Self-aware people won’t dismiss their partner’s interests, even if they don’t share the same enthusiasm.

It’s important to recognize that having different interests and being independent can actually be beneficial for a relationship. 

If your partner loves sports and you’re not a fan, you can still show an interest in their passion. 

You might not be able to sit through a three-hour football game every day, but you can ask questions about their favorite team or players, or even participate in some sporty activities with them like shooting hoops or touch football. 

This also indicates an investment in your partner, which leads me to my next point…

9) They never take their partner for granted

Here’s another thing: they know that taking their partner for granted is like forgetting to charge your phone – it works for a while, but eventually, it’s going to die. 

Self-aware people show appreciation and gratitude for their partner, and they never forget to say “thank you” or “I love you.” 

Out of the blue, maybe they’ll surprise their partner with a thoughtful gesture, like cooking them breakfast or treating them to their favorite food after a stressful week. Don’t forget: it’s the little things that count. 

Self-aware people understand that expressing gratitude is not only good for their relationship, but it’s also good for their own well-being! 

10) They never hold grudges for long   

I know it’s easier said than done. But at a certain point, you have to let it go

Holding a grudge is like carrying around a bag of rocks. It’s heavy, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s likely to cause some serious damage if you throw it at someone. 

Self-aware people are cautious of this and choose to unload their grudges, rather than use them as weapons in their relationships.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you’re giving them a free pass for bad behavior. It just means that you’re choosing to move forward and focus on building a positive future. 

Plus, let’s face it, holding onto anger and resentment is a pretty exhausting way to live. 

Self-aware people would much rather spend their energy on things that actually matter, like building a strong and healthy relationship with their partner.

Final thoughts 

So, there you have it – 10 things that self-aware people never do in relationships. By making these principles a part of their everyday lives, self-aware people build strong relationships based on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

Remember, relationships take work and effort, but with self-awareness and a dedication to growth, anyone can create fulfilling and meaningful connections with others. So, take these lessons to heart, and remember to have fun and enjoy the ride!

Picture of Clifton Kopp

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Ideapod! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.