20 things self-assured people do differently in relationships

By reading this headline, I hope you don’t feel attacked like I initially felt. Relationships are hard, and even the most confident of us sometimes have an off-day (or an off-week or an off-month). You can’t feel super secure every day, all the time. 

When you think about a self-assured person, what comes to mind? Confidence? Poise? A sense of calm assurance that radiates from within? 

Self-assured individuals possess a secure understanding of their abilities and worth. It’s like they have this inner compass, guiding them with unshakeable certainty and grace. 

And in relationships, this quality transforms into a beautiful dance of respect, authenticity, and mutual growth. 

However, becoming self-assured doesn’t mean you won’t have moments of self-doubt. Instead, it’s about how you handle them and bounce back, armed with the belief in your inherent worth and capabilities. 

So, let’s explore the 20 things that truly self-assured people do differently in relationships so you can follow suit when you start to feel off… 

1) They communicate openly and honestly

Self-assured individuals know the value of clear, open communication. 

They don’t shy away from expressing their feelings or discussing difficult topics. 

They understand that their voice matters and that a healthy relationship thrives on honesty and transparency.

2) They respect their partner’s individuality

People who are confident in their relationships cherish the uniqueness of their partner. 

The most secure people respect their partner’s personal space, interests, and ambitions. 

Moreover, they don’t feel threatened by their partner’s individuality but rather celebrate it.

3) They don’t play games

We love self-assured people are genuine in their interactions. 

These genuine folks don’t see the need for manipulative tactics or mind games in a relationship. 

They believe in straightforwardness and honesty, nurturing a relationship environment of trust and respect.

4) They set healthy boundaries

If you are self-assured, you understand the importance of setting boundaries

You communicate your needs clearly and expect your partner to respect these boundaries. 

It’s wonderful that you understand that boundaries aren’t about pushing someone away. Bravo for maintaining a healthy sense of self and relationship.

5) They don’t rely on their partner for happiness

Self-assured individuals derive their happiness from within. 

Naturally content people do not depend on their partners to make them happy or fulfill their life. 

They view their relationship as an addition to their already fulfilled life, not as the sole source of their joy.

6) They are not afraid to be vulnerable

The self-assured individual will understand that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but strength. 

Unafraid to open up, this self-assured person will express their emotions, and let their partner see them in their most authentic state.

7) They respect their partner’s boundaries

A self-assured person respects their partner’s boundaries just as they expect theirs to be respected. 

They understand that everyone has their limits and comfort zones, and they make an effort to honor these.

8) They’re not possessive

No one likes a possessive person. It shows such insecurity! 

The confident person won’t feel the need to control their partner or their actions. 

These self-assured people trust their partner and the strength of their relationship, giving their partner the freedom to be their own person.

9) They apologize when wrong

If you’re a self-assured person, you can acknowledge when you’re wrong and offer a sincere apology. 

You’re appreciated for not letting pride get in the way of owning up to your mistakes and making amends.

10) They encourage their partner’s growth

Self-assured individuals are secure enough to encourage their partners to grow and explore their own passions. 

A secure partner will see their other half’s growth as a strength of the relationship, not a threat.

11) They trust themselves and their partner

if you want to improve your relationships start with these behaviors 20 things self-assured people do differently in relationships

When you’re self-assured, you have a strong sense of trust

Those who have this quality trust their own judgment and decisions, and extend that trust to their partner. 

They understand that trust forms the backbone of a healthy relationship.

12) They understand that disagreements are normal

Self-assured people know that disagreements don’t mean the end of the relationship. 

They see them as opportunities for growth and understand that differing viewpoints can coexist in a relationship.

13) They Celebrate Their Partner’s Achievements

A secure individual takes joy in their partner’s accomplishments. 

Secure people celebrate their partner’s successes, understanding that their achievements do not diminish their own.

14) They maintain their own identity

Even within the relationship, self-assured people preserve their individuality. 

The strongest in relationships understand that a partnership consists of two individuals and strive to maintain their independence and personal interests.

15) They practice forgiveness

People know the value of forgiveness are subtly self-assured. They understand that holding onto grudges only harms the relationship and their own mental peace. 

These forgiving people will opt for open discussions and accept the “I’m sorry” (without faking it) to move forward.

16) They prioritize self-care

Folks who are confident in their relationships and themselves understand the importance of caring for their own mental, emotional, and physical well-being. 

They set aside time for self-care, knowing that it’s not selfish but necessary for a healthy relationship.

17) They keep their promises

Integrity matters to self-assured people. 

They stand by their words and commitments, earning the trust of their partners and strengthening the relationship.

18) They support their partner during tough times

A self-assured individual does not abandon their partner during challenging periods. 

These trustworthy partners offer their unwavering support, showcasing their loyalty and commitment.

19) They encourage open dialogue about intimacy

Comfortable and secure individuals understand the significance of physical and emotional intimacy. 

This type of lover is open to having discussions about their needs and listening to their partner’s, promoting a satisfying and comfortable intimate life.

20) They continually work on the relationship

The hardworking people in a relationship know that a good relationship requires effort

They’re proactive in addressing issues, keeping the spark alive, and building a relationship that both they and their partner find fulfilling.

Why should you strive to be self-assured in your relationship

So, why is it essential to be self-assured in your relationship? Self-assurance allows you to establish and maintain healthy relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and personal growth. 

It empowers you to express your needs and desires openly and assertively, fostering deeper intimacy and understanding. It also helps you build resilience, enabling you to navigate relationship challenges with grace and wisdom.

How to be more self-assured

But how can you cultivate self-assurance? It begins with self-awareness. In other words, you have to develop the understanding of who you are, your strengths, and areas for improvement. 

Start with the following exercises to be more self-assured: 

  • Build self-esteem by appreciating your worth and abilities. 
  • Set personal goals.
  • Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
  • Practice self-care.
  • Take time to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. 
  • Seek support when you need it, whether from loved ones or a professional.
  • Learn from your past while not letting it define you.

Cultivating self-assurance is an ongoing journey, one that involves continual learning, growth, and self-reflection. 

So, take it one step at a time. 

Remember, each step forward—no matter how small—brings you closer to becoming a more self-assured, empowered individual in your relationship and beyond. 

Because at the end of the day, your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. So make it a great one.

Picture of Ysolt Usigan Schmidt

Ysolt Usigan Schmidt

Ysolt Usigan is a lifestyle writer and editor with 15+ years of experience working in digital media. She has created share-worthy content for publishers WomansDay.com, Shape, WhatToExpect, CafeMom, TODAY, CBSNews, HuffingtonPost, TheBump, Health Magazine, and AskMen. A working mom of two, her editorial expertise in relationships, spirituality, mental wellness, shopping, and home are rooted in her everyday life.

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