Liv Walde
Honesty is the best policy
A mantra you’ve probably heard all the way up from when you sneakily stole a gummy bear out the sweet shop aged 5 up to now.
Whilst many of us have grown up to apply honesty and truthfulness in most scenarios but not all, some people still live by that motto.
Being gratingly honest can sometimes come at a cost.
It can mean being blunt and upfront, hurting people’s feelings, and speaking your truth even in a sea of people who prefer blind ignorance.
It takes real guts to stick to your values and stay candid, even if honesty is parroted as being one of the best traits around.
But if you live by the truth, chances are you understand and relate to these 10 things:
1) You often get mistaken for being rude owing to your blunt input
Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates honesty.
“That outfit isn’t the best choice for you, if I’m honest”
“Your new girlfriend seems quite arrogant and conceited”
“I think you might need to change up your deodorant”
The way in which you’ll truthfully tell someone when something is amiss, even if you think it’s in their best interest, can often be misinterpreted as rudeness.
Some people can’t handle the truth, and you’ve come to terms with that fact.
2) And a lot of people don’t understand you
In the same way that your brutal honesty sometimes causes conflict or anger, a lot of people just can’t understand why don’t just wrap up your opinions and hide the truth to make people feel better.
Why can’t you just tell your friend their outfit looks fine (even if they look like they just walked out of a jumble sale)?
Why not just say you think the world of your friend’s new partner?
Why not just close your eyes and pretend your friend doesn’t need to reassess their personal hygiene habits?
A lot of people choose blissful ignorance and people-pleasing over honesty, and therefore struggle to come to terms with the way in which you champion the truth.
You’ve accepted that fact and acknowledge that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea.
3) But (hopefully) you’re aware that these people are unable to see past their insecurities and it’s okay to stick to being honest
Having grown up honest and maintained it throughout your life, you’ve likely come to understand that the people who grimace and turn up their nose when told the truth are largely doing so owing to their own insecurities.
A lot of us could work on receiving honesty better.
You, however, know that when you provide a candid and frank opinion and someone ends up running off in tears, it’s probably because you’ve hit a weak spot that they know about, deep down.
Obviously, there are occasions when you should keep your honesty in check.
Telling people that they’re straight-up dumb or that they could use a nose job is hopefully not something you dabble in.
However, when you provide reasonable interjections of honesty that are still taken badly, you know that it’s largely down to the recipients’ own insecurities.
Hopefully your honesty is a bit of a wake-up call.
4) You’ve lost a lot of friends and partners along the way
Owing to the way in which you’re often misunderstood and the conflict some of your honesty might have caused, you’ve lost a few friends along the way.
The friend who you candidly told that their partner was no good for them ditched you after that comment. (Their girlfriend may well have instigated that decision).
People who dislike hearing honestly and prefer blissful ignorance struggle to hear the full and honest truth, and would sometimes rather cocoon themselves away in a world in which everyone is nice and complimentary towards one another.
Thus, you’ve ended up losing a couple friends or partners in your journey as you stick to your truth and avoid playing pretend just to make people feel better.
5) But your friends still come to you if they want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth
Yet, those who you keep close to you truly value your honesty.
When they know they need to hear the full and honest truth, you’re the person they turn to first.
They know that what you tell them won’t be dressed up in bows and whistles.
Your social circle might be small, but those people who you do value also value you immensely.
They see the true nature of your honesty and intentions and have overcome the tendency to mistake your honesty for rudeness.
6) Although you might at one point have considered dimming your honesty to maintain a more palatable character
Even if honesty dwells deep in your heart and morals, there’s probably been a point when you’ve considered toning it down to come across more likable.
The negative interactions and responses you’ve had to your honesty have probably led you to (at least once) contemplate dimming your honesty.
But you know that would mean going against your moral code and it’s just not something you have in you.
You value honesty and being truly sincere, so you stick to your guns and keep practicing it, even if you’ve been tempted to cross over to the dark side.
7) You’ve been deemed emotionless at times
Being upfront and frank can sometimes be misinterpreted as being emotionless.
Aside from your comments sometimes coming across as rude or blunt, you’ve likely also come to understand that some people mistake your honest demeanor for a lack of emotion.
Dressing up our perceptions to please people is a typical social behavior.
As you’re not a big fan of this, you might have been called emotionless.
Or cold.
Or robotic.
You know that none of this is true.
You have plenty of emotions.
You’re just straightforward and honest in the way that you present them.
8) There’s been times when you’ve had to avoid saying anything at all after realizing how your honesty might hurt others
Although you’ve not ended up moderating or ditching your honest values, there have been occasions where you wished you would have kept your mouth shut rather than spitting straight facts.
Or you have actually started speaking, only to shut it down in a pretend cough.
Let’s be honest: your honesty has probably landed you in hot water or a really awkward scenario on more than one occasion.
And when that has happened, you might have pondered whether keeping the honesty in your head would’ve been a better option rather than voicing it out loud.
9) You dislike people who are fake-nice and can easily spot someone who plays a character
You can spot someone putting on a fake personality and making false statements pretty easily.
Being such an advocate of honesty, your fakeness-detector runs pretty well.
People who put on a show to please others, dress up their personalities to match a certain social situation, or make up grand stories that likely never occurred to win a round of applause are not people you particularly favor.
Still, you understand that not everyone values honesty in the same way you do.
In fact, you struggle to understand how some people can fabricate or fib to such an extent.
Whether or not you contradict that individual or are ready to voice the contradictory facts on the implausibility of their tall tales is yours to decide…
10) And you absolutely love finding a fellow honest soul
And should you find someone else as honest as you amongst a sea of people who suck up and play fake to win over others, you’re over the moon
These might not be so easy to find.
True honesty is a rare yet incredibly valuable trait
Still, you love finding someone as honest as yourself.
You can finally feel comfortable in being yourself without fear of upsetting others and know that your honest friend will be equally ready to bring you the full truth should you want to hear it.
Honesty party here we come!
If you’re someone who ticks off every sign listed, I’m very impressed.
Like I said, true honesty is hard to come by.
It’s difficult to digest by many who prefer to live in perpetually blissful ignorance, but at the end of the day, we could all benefit from being a little more truthful.
If you only related to a couple of these points, that’s also okay. You’re more like the average human (aka me).
We all tend to dabble in white lies to make people feel better or sometimes fabricate the truth (for example, saying you’re sick when you’ve really just gone off the idea of a night on the town).
Being truly honest comes with a lot of ups and downs, but it’s still a great policy to live by.
So just keep that in mind next time someone asks you for your honest opinion and try to stick to the facts.
It might feel uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to build up to being a truly authentic individual.
