8 things mentally strong women never waste their emotional energy on

As women, we have our fair share of worries, responsibilities, and problems. It’s impossible and exhausting to tackle everything and even attempting to is stressful. 

Our mental loads are heavy enough as it is. And frankly, we should seize every moment of calm that we can. 

It’s what mentally strong women are getting right. They find their pockets of peace and choose their battles, and it’s something we can get better at, too. 

Here are 8 things that mentally strong women would never waste their emotional energy on.

1) The past and the future

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.” – Earl Nightingale

Mentally strong women never waste their emotional energy on worrying over the past and the future. They don’t waste their energy getting stuck on what they could have done differently.

They don’t waste their energy anxious in anticipation. 

The past was practice and the future is uncertain, the only thing guaranteed is right at this very moment.

There’s nothing wrong with indulging in nostalgia, but it’s when one obsesses over the mistakes and regrets of the past that it gets distressing

We can’t change what has gone and being anxious about what has yet to happen isn’t very helpful either.

Mentally strong women focus on what can be done in the present.

2) Self-pity

“Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.” -Maya Angelou

Mentally strong women do not linger in self-pity

They give themselves the grace to make mistakes and try again. They do not stew in these limiting beliefs. 

They dust themselves off and move forward. 

Self-sabotage is very real after all, and they do not subscribe to this either, thank you very much. 

3) Fighting the inevitable

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” -Dalai Lama XIV

A small list of inevitable things:

  • Change
  • Death
  • That you’ll change and that others will, too
  • Everything that begins will eventually end
  • Getting old
  • Making mistakes
  • Being wrong about people sometimes
  • Not getting everything right

Mentally strong women don’t fight against these inevitable things as the outcome is out of their control anyway.

It’s a losing battle. And that energy could be diverted into more meaningful things.

4) Other people’s opinion of them

“The minute you start caring about what other people think, is the minute you stop being yourself.” -Meryl Streep

Mentally strong women know this: What others think about us is not our problem. 

Putting too much energy into other people’s opinions of us is a thankless endeavor. We can’t always fit into someone’s ideal (and that is okay.)

Sure, how our presence affects the collective should be put into consideration, but constantly worrying if we’re not being someone’s cup of tea is unhealthy.

That said, Psych Central lists these indicators that other people’s opinions have affected you negatively:

  • Changing in response to every criticism
  • Letting other people make decisions on your behalf
  • Not having or maintaining boundaries
  • Being a perfectionist
  • Not wanting to oppose other people’s opinions
  • Constantly apologizing
  • Rarely saying no
  • Craving approval

I firmly believe that mentally strong women recognized these behaviors and sought to change them. 

Remember, we’re all capable of progress, we just need patience and time. And being mentally strong? That also takes patience and time. 

5) Unhealthy relationships

“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” -John Mark Green

Mentally strong women will NEVER waste their emotional energy on unhealthy relationships—of any kind. 

Toxic family members, toxic friends, toxic workmates, and toxic partners. She will address it and if it doesn’t get fixed after trying, then she will move forward. 

She has boundaries to protect herself and she’s not afraid to say No when necessary. 

She protects her peace and the space she has made for herself. 

6) Jealousy

“Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy – in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.” -Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Mentally strong women do not waste their emotional energy on being jealous. They don’t spend their time comparing themselves to others anyway and jealousy has become unfamiliar.

Instead, they focus on growth, they focus on building community, and they focus on finding like-minded people. They don’t participate in tearing others down.

They don’t participate in these petty games. 

7) Regrets

“If I’m sincere today, what does it matter if I regret it tomorrow?” -José Saramago, Blindness

I know I’ve already mentioned the past and the way we sometimes get sucked into dwelling in it, but there’s one thing about it that deserves a separate number. 

And it’s no other than regrets.

I personally try to minimize regretting things as it’s an unhelpful habit, but I’m not completely without them. 

Mentally strong women don’t have such problems. They focus on what could be learned from the mistake and then adapt. 

Mentally strong women are adaptive and resilient

8) Perfection

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” -Salvador Dali

And finally, mentally strong women reject perfection. They don’t try to reach it, they don’t strive for it. 

Perfection is so overrated anyway. It’s impossible to reach that standard, it’s unrealistic and exhausting. 

Mentally strong women know this, and they might have believed it once upon a time but they have learned. 

Wisdom, luckily, is earned through lived experiences so perfectionism has lost its luster.

What if none of these resonated?

If nothing on this resonated, or worse, raised the alarm in your mind, don’t worry. 

Now that you’ve realized you’re exhibiting unhealthy habits, it’s high time to move forward.

It’s what mentally strong women would do, too! They would identify what needs changing, do their due diligence, and then do what needs to be done. 

They don’t stew on what they could’ve done earlier, they move now. They focus on here, the now, and the possibilities within it

And should you wish to, you are more than capable of doing the same. 

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Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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