Natasha Combrink
Does it feel like you fail every time your mental toughness is tested?
No, I’m not talking about exams or TV shows where you try to guess the answer before the contestant does…
I’m referring to those moments when life kicks you in the face and then laughs at you while you try to cover the marks with your poor makeup skills.
Been there. Felt that.
I used to have no mental resilience.
But that changed when I realized that at some point in their life, most mentally strong people felt this way too.
So, I read about and studied the behavior of mentally strong people I know. And I discovered some interesting things they do without fail.
Ready to know what these are?
Well, to start with…
1) They prioritize themselves.
You might think putting yourself first, and self-care is selfish, but it isn’t. Taking care of yourself is necessary for happiness and success.
Mentally strong people prioritize themselves every day. They set boundaries, say no to things that don’t serve them, and protect their energy.
Sure, it’s important to think about others too. But if you…
- Constantly worry about how the things you do make others feel
- Change yourself to make others happy
- Apologize even when you did nothing wrong
…you need to stop!
People-pleasing gives your power away. You’ll never grow if you don’t focus on yourself.
2) They practice patience.
Don’t get me wrong. We all get impatient at times. But mentally strong people have some strategies up their sleeves.
While you might get frustrated, look for other solutions, or give up, a mentally strong person:
- Sets realistic expectations and achievable goals to remind them that progress is gradual.
- Focuses on the present moment to better manage their impatience.
- Remind themselves of the bigger picture and see things from a different perspective.
These strategies help them stay cool and calm when things aren’t going as quickly as they’d like.
Reminding yourself to be patient every day will help you understand that small steps will also get you to where you want to be.
You don’t need to do everything at once or unnecessarily risk your progress. Mentally strong people know this. Which is why…
3) They take calculated risks.
Taking risks and taking calculated risks are vastly different. Let me explain:
It’s risky to invest in a brand-new startup. You could lose all your money or get significant returns.
If there’s a lot of uncertainty involved, putting your extra cash into a company is a risk.
But, if you’ve done market research, looked at the competition, and have a detailed business plan in hand, investing your money is a calculated risk.
Mentally strong people carefully consider the risk before diving in.
They understand that playing it safe all the time can limit their growth, but still act smart.
It’s also worth mentioning that they know how to cope with setbacks. Not all calculated risks have a positive outcome.
A mentally strong person is resilient enough to look at failures as learning opportunities.
It’s also why…
4) They embrace change.
Saying you want to make a change is easy. Whether that’s changing your habits, moving to another town, or quitting your shitty job to pursue your dreams.
But actually doing it – not so much.
A hundred opportunities could cross your path, and you still wouldn’t take it.
And I get it. It’s hard to embrace change. But it’s also important to remember that small changes could drastically improve your life.
Mentally strong people change their habits, behaviors, and environments all the time.
They also accept that change isn’t always in their control, and they have to go with whatever life throws their way. Resisting will only lead to more stress and missed opportunities.
You need to approach change with an open mind and willingness to adapt. This will help you roll with the punches and dominate life’s twists and turns!
Change is inevitable. There’s no point in wasting energy trying to avoid it.
5) They only focus on things they can control.
Do you ever:
- Spend a lot of time thinking about bad things that could happen?
- Convince yourself that luck doesn’t exist and everything is in your control?
- Try to single-handedly fix everything?
If you answered yes to any of these, you’re not as mentally strong as you might think.
You see, mentally strong people have a particular mindset.
They don’t waste energy stressing over things beyond their control. They also believe in luck and know when to ask for help.
Shifting your attention to what you can influence will make all the difference! Seriously, it will open doors you never even thought of.
Imagine you’re facing an exam. Instead of worrying about how hard it will be, you concentrate on studying diligently and seeking help if needed.
Can you envision the difference this will make?
Your preparation and mindset (which are in your control) will help you give your best and see great results!
Certain things are beyond our control. Being mentally strong isn’t about denying or ignoring these external issues but prioritizing whatever you can do to make a difference.
This mindset is also helpful when you make mistakes. Mentally strong people choose to be solution-oriented every day. That’s why…
6) They learn from their mistakes.
Instead of getting caught up in negativity, complaining, or feeling helpless, a mentally strong person will adapt and find a new solution.
Now, I get it.
We’ve all been repeat offenders. There are some mistakes you’ll make once or twice and others that you never seem to learn from.
It’s human. And could be behavioral or cognitive.
But you need to reach a point where you learn from them. If you don’t, you’ll:
- Never reach your goals.
- Enter a vicious cycle of repeating the mistake.
- Frustrate those around you.
It’s necessary to at least try to avoid making the same mistakes.
And mentally strong people do just that.
It’s a mindset shift. Instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they believe their abilities and intelligence can develop through effort.
That’s why they choose to learn from their experiences and take control by making better decisions when they try again.
7) They shake any feelings of entitlement.
Unless you’re a true saint, I’m pretty sure there have been moments where it felt like you deserve special treatment.
I’m not judging – I’ve been there too!
And sometimes, even mentally strong people feel this way. But they actively work to push these feelings aside.
This is because they understand that entitlement could be detrimental to their personal growth and relationships.
No matter what happens, a mentally strong person will choose to recognize that nobody owes them anything.
By letting go of entitlement, they stay grateful and see even more opportunities come their way.
This mindset helps them overcome challenges, drives them to set goals, and ensures they build stronger relationships.
When you stop expecting special treatment, you’ll be more adaptable and open-minded.
You’ll have an easier time accepting that life doesn’t always go your way.
Which is particularly useful when others succeed while it feels like you’re stuck.
8) They use jealousy as inspiration.
Jealousy is a common emotion. But another thing mentally strong people do every day is ditch this feeling.
Instead of allowing jealousy to eat away at them or breed bitterness, mentally strong people are happy when others succeed. And they’ll use your success as a source of inspiration.
I know it’s hard to be happy for someone else when they get or achieve something you’ve been dreaming of.
I’ve been there too.
But it’s important to turn your emotions into motivation instead of resentment.
Jealousy is a negative emotion. But mentally strong people channel it into a desire to better themselves.
When you compare wealth, appearance, possessions, status, or accomplishments, it’s easy to fall into a pit of depression.
So, how do mentally strong people overcome this? Well, for starters…
9) They don’t feel sorry for themselves.
We’ve all been there – having a self-pity party wishing our lives could be different.
Mentally strong people experience this sadness too. The difference?
They don’t dwell on it and self-destruct.
If you think…
- Your problems are worse than everyone else’s
- No one else could ever understand how unfair your life really is
- Other people are luckier or more blessed than you are
- The world is out to get you
…you need to change your mindset – drastically!
Here’s how:
- Accept reality as it is. Don’t waste time wishing things out of your control were different.
- Take responsibility for problems you create yourself.
- Be grateful for everything you already have.
- Actively look for solutions to your problems.
- Understand that setbacks are part of life, and results don’t appear overnight.
You’ll be amazed by what can happen when you steer clear of self-pity!
Truth is, mental resilience is learned. And while some people reach it sooner than others, everyone can achieve this state.
You just need to want it enough to never stop trying.
