Michelle Marie Manese
Worrying is a natural human response. We worry over our loved ones, our future, our finances, even tomorrow’s weather, and everything else in between. It’s normal, it’s human.
To a point, it’s even helpful.
However, there are some worries that are just unhelpful and restrictive. Toxic, even. Unhealthy to a fault.
Let me share with you this quote by motivational speaker and author Leo Buscaglia, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
These worries prevent us from living in the moment, from experiencing life to its fullest potential.
So here, let’s talk about the 28 Things in Life You Should No Longer Waste Time Worrying About:
1) What you look like
I am aware that self-acceptance is a long and winding journey, it’s much easier said than done. But the thing with chasing an ideal look is that you never quite reach it.
There will always be something new to change, something new to buy, something bright and shiny that capitalism will throw at your face.
The finish line will continue moving and isn’t that just so exhausting?
2) How you act
This is similar to the one above, how we try to conform because it’s easier. How society has stomped on all the weird things that make us who we are.
Time to embrace our oddities, bestie.
3) If you’re being “cringe”
EMBRACE. THE. CRINGE. Life is too short to not chase happiness.
So many of us are held back by the embarrassment of it all, like being so sappy and cheesy when you’re in love.
Or liking something that the general public finds lame. Fearing being “basic” or “too different” or too this and too that.
4) Other people’s approval
Two things that I’ve noticed to be true: a) People won’t care and b) People will talk anyway. And here we are, hinging in-between and boxing ourselves in.
The weight of people’s expectations is a heavy burden that I wish we could all just collectively shed. (One of those easier said than done statements, I’m aware.)
But hear me out here: People aren’t focusing on you as much as you think they are and the people who want to say something negative about you will do so anyway.
So as long as it’s legal, consensual, doesn’t hurt anybody, and would make you happy? Do what it is that you want to do in the first place.
5) Appearing perfect
Perfection is a myth. It’s also a thankless and exhausting endeavor. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter.
Perfect or not, someone will still not like us for who we are. In reverse, no matter how many imperfections we have, those who love us will continue to do so.
6) Social media likes
Social media is a highlight reel. And, this might be a hot take, but I think that’s totally fine.
What’s not fine is when we live our lives around the likes our posts could make. When we let our lives revolve around the metrics of social media, we let the hype dictate our actions.
Social media likes, or the platforms in general, shouldn’t be our life compass. We *should* know when to step back. (Easier said than done in this day and age, I know.)
7) Having the latest gadgets
I understand the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) involved in having the trendiest gadgets, but you see, you don’t always need to keep up with the trends.
Eventually, the newest gadget will be replaced in what seems like weekly (an exaggeration, I hope), and trying to keep up will be exhausting AND expensive.
8) Being trendy
Speaking of keeping up with the times, let’s talk about not worrying about being trendy.
As in liking something outdated and completely not following trends or only picking and choosing what is genuine to you.
But it’s what makes us so endearingly human. Trends come and go anyway, stay true to you.
9) If you’re lagging behind everyone
I am unsure where I first read this line but it has stuck with me ever since: “There’s no harm without comparison.”
This is beyond not being trendy, this is dealing more with our paths in life. How we sometimes look around and feel like we’re lagging behind everyone else we know.
How social media makes it seem like we’re the only one left stagnating.
10) What you could have done
Another “hindsight is 20/20” situation. Regret is a worry for what has gone or what we could’ve done.
It’s almost an empty worry. I do say almost because we can always learn from our shortcomings, right?
11) Who you didn’t become
We sometimes worry about disappointing others for not becoming who they thought we would be. But, my friend, the twists and turns of life have brought you to where you are now.
Who you didn’t become is something you can’t change anymore, but what you can do now is something you have control over.
12) Who you want to be
Similar to the one above. The future is as far as the past, worrying over every decision and every detour is quite restrictive.
If we focus SOLELY on who we want to be, we don’t allow ourselves to see the other possibilities. Have a goal, sure, but be open to what life can offer you too.
13) Old relationship vs. new relationship
Particularly, if the new relationship is better than the old. Or vice versa.
I’m guilty of this, too, so I know how easier said than done this is. All I’m saying is if there’s no action after finding room for improvement, is it just finding fault?
14) If you love (or loved) more
And so what if you love (or loved) more? Isn’t that a testament to your capacity to love?
Leave mind games by the door, bestie. It’s okay.
15) If you didn’t love enough
If you believe that you didn’t, then do better in the future.
Apologize where necessary instead of letting this weigh you down.
16) If you loved the right people
Let’s think of it like this: all of them led you to where you are now. Do you like where you are now, relationship-wise?
If not, then change course.
17) Old rejections
I admit that getting rejected is not a good feeling but try to think of it as redirection. What changed in your life after the rejection? Where did it lead you?
18) Being rejected in the future
Once again, rejection is redirection, friends!
Don’t let the fear of *potentially* getting rejected in the future stop you from acting now.
19) Dreams you’ve outgrown
If you’re one of those people who managed to live their childhood dreams, then good for you.
However, for those who jump from one dream to another, one goal to another, that’s okay, too! We can outgrow our dreams after being presented with new information, and that is okay.
20) Friends you’ve outgrown
Yes, you can outgrow even your friends. For example:
- They no longer resonate with who you are now.
- You no longer resonate with who they are now.
- You no longer have the same values.
- You have grown and are no longer who they think you are.
21) Who you were in high school
As someone pushing 30, who I was in high school seems like such a lifetime ago, yet I carry the burdens and scars of that time just the same.
High school was either high-stress or glorious, or both. However, the future is still so long. Who we were then is no longer who we are or who we could be.
Worrying over who we were in high school doesn’t seem productive.
22) Constantly asking permission to occupy space
Take up space, take up more.
You deserve the space you occupy, bestie.
23) Constantly apologizing
- Worrying if you’re inconveniencing someone.
- Worrying if you’re taking so much of their time.
- Worrying if you’re doing something wrong (when you’re so evidently not).
24) Life milestones you “should” already have now
Some examples:
- Having a degree/graduating from college or university.
- Getting married.
- Having or not having children.
- Owning your own home (really? In this economy?)
- Having a good job.
- Retirement-ready savings.
Live life at your pace, friend.
25) Falling in love too hard
I’m guilty of this as an avoidant girlie. However, I’m self-aware enough to know that I shouldn’t worry or apologize for falling in love too hard.
To be as open about the joy it brings. To tell the world, “Hey, look at this person. They’re MY person. They make me happy.”
To not worry about the end of something so beautiful. To live by the words, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
26) For feeling that you’re not doing enough
Unless you have a rather inflated ego, you will always feel like you’re doing something wrong or not doing the best you can.
Until it’s pointed out to you, don’t worry about it.
27) Failing
Similarly to getting rejected, failure is a common worry. But if you can, try to reframe failures as a learning opportunity instead.
Each one is closer to triumph. You’re made of tougher things, you know?
28) What people will think about you doing what’s best for you
And lastly, stop worrying about what others will think. Especially with the decisions that you know are best for you.
We can’t please everybody anyway, so might as well go for the decision that makes you the happiest and that works the best for you.
This isn’t to say not to listen to good advice, but at the end of the day, you know yourself best. You are your own responsibility.
So if you’re set on this, see it through.
