8 things highly charasmatic people do to stand out from the crowd

When I was younger, I used to think charisma was something people were born with. Something I didn’t – and couldn’t – have.

That was before I learned that charisma wasn’t some kind of innate talent but rather a skill. And the good news is that any skill can be honed and perfected if you put in enough practice.

Want to know how to stand out from the crowd and have a magnetic pull on anyone you meet?

These are the 8 things highly charismatic people often do.

1) They exude an aura of optimism and warmth

One of the most important things you’ve got to learn about charisma is that it is built upon a solid foundation of joy.

And what do I mean by that?

Well, emotions are contagious. If your best friend is squeaking with excitement, you might feel your own spirits lift as well. If they’re devastated, you’re probably going to fight the tears gathering in your eyes because you’ll be so sad for them.

Therefore, the number one way to become magnetic is to radiate the kind of energy that makes people feel good – joy, optimism, warmth, and happy-go-lucky confidence.

A charismatic person will try to delve deep into fascinating topics rather than complain about the weather. They will welcome you with open arms, making you feel like you belong, even if they don’t know you very well.

And once the interaction is over…

You’ll feel as if you’ve just found a new best friend.

Which brings us to the next point…

2) They make other people feel good about themselves

The second rule I’ve learned about charisma is that at its core, it’s not so much about how you present yourself but rather about the influence you have on other people’s self-perception.

Have you ever heard of the reciprocity of liking theory?

According to psychology, it “refers to the tendency for people to like others who express liking for them. Reciprocity of liking is a key principle of attraction.”

If you make someone feel interesting, understood, or impressive, you’re immediately increasing the likelihood that they’ll like you back simply because they’ll feel good in your presence.

My best friend is a pro at this skill. She doesn’t even do it consciously, and yet she’s insanely charismatic due to her inherent curiosity about the workings of other people’s minds.

When you’re having a conversation with her, you feel as if you were at the very center of her universe.

She doesn’t get distracted; doesn’t interrupt you; doesn’t seem to be stuck inside her own thoughts half the time.

On the contrary, she is the best active listener I’ve ever come across.

And the best part is that she means it. She doesn’t put on any pretense – her curiosity is so genuine that you end up feeling like the most interesting person who’s ever walked the Earth.

And if that’s not charisma, I don’t know what is.

3) Their body language is open and assertive

You may not realize it, but every day, your body speaks for you – even if you don’t say a word.

The way you carry yourself, the little gestures you make, or the manner in which you sit reveal a lot about your internal state, and what’s more, these little nonverbal cues can have an impact on how the people around you feel and act themselves.

If you lean back and cross your arms on your chest, the other person may subconsciously feel that you are distancing yourself and will shut down as well.

This is why it’s important to observe your nonverbal communication and adjust it if need be so that you come across not only as charismatic but also as a confident and self-assured person.

So, what counts as open and assertive body language?

Here are the cliff notes:

  • You have an open stance (your limbs aren’t crossed)
  • You keep your back straight
  • You don’t fidget
  • Your feet are turned toward the person you’re speaking to
  • You have regular eye contact
  • You generally focus on the conversation at hand and seem to be in the present moment

However, do remember that these are guidelines, not strict rules – it’s better to be your authentic self rather than to overthink every little gesture you make.

Still, though. It’s helpful to keep the above tips in mind.

4) They make for amazing storytellers

behaviors afraid to reveal their true self around you 8 things highly charasmatic people do to stand out from the crowd

Since the dawn of time, people have connected through stories.

From fairytales to epic stories of mythological heroes or commercial thrillers, stories tie us to each other through emotion, culture, and a childlike sense of wonder.

Is it therefore so surprising that people who are brilliant storytellers also tend to exude incredible charisma?

Exactly. Storytelling and charisma undeniably go hand in hand.

When someone tells a story that draws you in, keeps you on your toes, and makes you laugh, you immediately feel yourself opening up to them because you have now shared a fun experience together.

Not to mention that pulling off a great story takes a lot of confidence and skill, which may lead to feelings of admiration and awe.

5) They inspire motivation rather than envy

When you admire someone’s ability to tell a great story and love the art of narration yourself, you have two options: envy their skill or feel motivated to reach the same heights.

While charismatic people can inspire both envy and motivation – after all, there is only so much they can do, and most of our emotions are completely up to us – it is a sign of incredible charisma when most people who meet them feel the latter.

So, what’s the difference?

Here’s a good example: I recently went to two events, each of which featured an author whose work I admired.

Both authors were lovely, however, I noticed that one’s charisma left me feeling a bit intimidated while the other’s energy motivated me to keep pursuing my own writing dreams and goals.

Upon further reflection, I realized that while author A naturally created a sort of division between herself and the audience (she was the author and we were the readers), author B spoke to us as if we were all part of a fun little writing club.

In other words, author B made us feel included. She inspired us to keep working on our own stories because if she could do it, we could, too.

And that’s where the main difference lies. Someone whose charisma inspires motivation rather than envy is someone who naturally lifts other people up.

6) They have a good sense of humor

Of course, it goes without saying that making other people laugh increases your charisma a great deal.

However, this doesn’t mean you have to sprinkle in jokes throughout every conversation. In fact, some people try a bit too hard to be funny, which then undermines the whole effect.

My best piece of advice is to be… drumroll, please… yourself.

Yeah, I know. Cliché, right?

It’s true, though. I’d say I can generally be quite funny, but my ability to make people laugh has nothing to do with jokes and everything to do with feeling comfortable in my own skin.

I’m not afraid to act a bit silly for comedic effect. That’s basically it. And it works.

Find your own way to express your sense of humor. You don’t need to turn into Chandler Bing just to be charismatic.

7) They are social butterflies

The next item on our itinerary is… people skills.

While it’s not necessary to be a complete pro at reading people to come across as someone charismatic, it definitely helps to have basic social skills, such as:

  • Asking interesting questions
  • Knowing how to introduce yourself to a new group of people
  • Seamlessly moving between groups with a polite and assertive attitude
  • Being able to tell whether the person you’re talking to is bored or uncomfortable
  • Showing active engagement in conversations

The reason social butterflies stand out from the crowd is that they know how to navigate other people’s emotions and moods, adjusting their behavior as they do so.

And the result is – once again – the ability to make others feel good.

8) They have genuinely good intentions

Not everyone who’s charismatic is kind, but it definitely helps.

Why?

Because many people can tell whether you’re putting on a persona or whether you’re being authentic. The first will leave a bitter taste in their mouth; the latter will open up a door to a genuine connection.

Therefore, the hallmark of charisma isn’t the ability to persuade other people of your truth or make them laugh.

It’s when you wish others well and mean it, when you are genuinely interested in who they are, and when you aren’t afraid to show up as your true self.

That, my friend, is true charisma in a nutshell.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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