When it comes to relationships, men can be pretty When it comes to relationships, men can be pretty confusing.
Although guys would love to have a girlfriend that they can trust wholeheartedly, who’ll understand them when they’re sad and give them space when they need it, not all of them know how to ask for what they want in a relationship.
Here are some things guys want in a relationship but won’t ask for:
1) Space and independence
A lot of times, women expect their partners to be clingy and dependent on them for every little thing, without their partners ever getting any space to just be themselves.
For example, if a guy has to work late a few nights in a row and his girlfriend doesn’t understand why he can’t spend time with her, that’s an issue.
However, if the guy has to travel for work or attend some business meetings and his girlfriend lets him go without making a big deal out of it, that’s an amazing quality.
But this doesn’t only apply to business things.
Some guys love their girlfriends with their whole hearts and love hanging out together, but sometimes, they want time alone or time to spend with their friends without their girlfriend.
If she doesn’t understand that, that’s an issue.
The thing is, this has nothing to do with you as a girlfriend, it’s about them as a person.
So, if you’re in a relationship, understand that your partner is different from you, and try to understand him/her.
A guy might love his girl, but he’d like to be able to spend time with his friends or pursue some of his own interests and hobbies without being judged or feeling like he’s disappointing his girlfriend.
You see, sometimes, guys don’t know how to ask for a little bit of time to themselves because they are afraid of hurting your feelings.
So, if you feel like your guy needs some space, let him go.
Trust me, it will only bring you closer together.
2) More time together
Guys love spending time with their girlfriends, but sometimes women like to spend more time doing activities together than guys are comfortable with.
If you live with your boyfriend, for example, and you’re constantly trying to squeeze in another activity or event in his already packed schedule, he’d love it if you slowed down and spent more time together.
You see, while he might love coming with you and meeting people and going out, sometimes, he might also just like a quiet night at home with you, spending quality time together.
So, if you think he’s not happy with the amount of time he’s spending with you, maybe try suggesting some new activities that you both could enjoy together.
The thing is, quality time is super important in a relationship, and if you don’t make time for it, the relationship will die.
3) What would a relationship coach say
While the points in this article will help you deal with a guy who won’t ask for what he wants, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like communicating needs.
They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago.
After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) Communication
Communication is an important part of any relationship, but guys sometimes feel like women don’t want to talk about the things that are bothering them, want to talk too much, or only want to talk about their feelings.
If a girl is dating a guy and wants to know how he feels about certain things or wants to be able to talk to him about what’s bothering her, that’s great — but she should be willing to do the same.
Likewise, if a girl has a problem with her boyfriend and wants him to listen to her and understand her side, she should be willing to listen to him and understand his side, too.
Some guys are simply not the best communicators, and while that might frustrate you, it frustrates him even more.
You see, there are many things he wants to express, but he simply can’t find the right words.
If he doesn’t know how to talk to you about it, is there a way that he can get in touch with his feelings?
This is a good time to bring up the topic of communication and express your concerns.
Sometimes, guys just want to be able to talk to you openly.
5) Honesty
Honesty is one of the most important elements in any relationship, but it can be easy to lose sight of that fact when you start to get comfortable with someone and are afraid of losing him or her.
A guy would love to be able to ask for honesty from the woman he’s dating, but he may be afraid to do so because he’s worried that she’ll lose interest in him or leave him if she finds out something he’s hiding.
If your boyfriend is acting weird around you or suddenly canceling plans with you, he may feel like he has something to hide from you and is afraid of losing you, but if you’re committed to honesty in a relationship, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell him that you want him to be honest with you, too.
Now: this doesn’t need to be anything terrible, like a betrayal, but guys are often afraid to ask for honesty in a relationship, even though they want it.
If your boyfriend really wants honesty in a relationship, he should be willing to ask for it.
6) Sex and Physical Intimacy
Guys love sex; however, not every guy wants to have sex all the time.
If you’re in a long-term relationship with a guy, he may want to have sex more often than once every couple of weeks, but he may not know how to bring that up.
Likewise, if you’re living with your boyfriend, he may want to be able to cuddle and hold you without having sex, but he may feel like he can’t ask for that.
Now: it’s important to distinguish two things here:
If your boyfriend is constantly trying to push for more physical intimacy than you’re comfortable with, he’s being manipulative and pressuring you for sex.
If he’s asking for more physical intimacy than you’re comfortable with but isn’t pressuring you into anything (or is pressuring you into something you’re not comfortable with), he’s just asking for what he wants.
However, a lot of guys don’t even know how to ask for more (or less) sex, because they aren’t sure how to approach the topic.
You see, especially when it’s about less sex, this can be an awkward conversation to bring up.
Believe it or not, in a lot of relationships, the man’s sex drive is lower than the woman’s, making him the one who doesn’t want to go at it all the time.
Because of societal norms, this can make him feel bad, like he isn’t man enough for you, which is why he might not want to talk about this.
7) See His Friends Occasionally
Everyone likes to spend time with their friends, but a lot of times, women want their partners to dump their friends and spend all their time with them.
If you like your boyfriend’s friends and you want him to spend time with them occasionally so that he can get his quality time with them, that’s great — but he may feel like he can’t ask for that.
Likewise, if you want your boyfriend to be able to hang out with his friends without bringing you along every time, that’s great, too — but he may not know how to ask for that.
When you’re in a relationship with a guy, you’re going to have to give up some of the time that you used to spend with your friends, but you don’t have to give up all of it.
He might miss his friends a lot because he’s been spending a lot of time with you, so try to suggest for him to have a boy’s night every once in a while.
He will be eternally grateful, and in the long run, it will help to keep your relationship healthier!
8) You shouldn’t nag him 24/7
Guys love their girlfriends, but sometimes women can nag their boyfriends to a fault.
If you’re always trying to get him to do things with you or you’re always pressuring him to spend more time with you or do more things, he’s going to get really tired of you really quickly.
Likewise, if you’re constantly trying to get him to change his habits or trying to get him to do things your way, he’s probably going to lose interest in you — and he may not know how to tell you that without feeling like he’s hurting your feelings.
The thing is, nobody wants to be nagged 24/7, but he might be too nice and polite to tell you off for it.
When you feel like you are nagging your boyfriend a lot, it might be a good idea to give yourself and him a break for once.
The thing is if you can’t stand to live with him without nagging 24/7 and wanting him to be different than what he is, maybe he is not the right guy for you.
9) Reassurance
Guys want to be able to ask for reassurance in a relationship, but they may not know how to do that.
If you’re dating a guy and you’re constantly asking him if he’s attracted to you, if he still loves you, and if he still wants to be with you, he’s going to want to reassure you and make you feel okay.
Likewise, if you’re always trying to get him to tell you that he loves you or that you’re “the one,” he’s probably happy that he can reassure you all the time.
If you want to know that your boyfriend is committed to you and that he really cares about you, ask him to reassure you once in a while, but don’t forget that he might need the same thing.
You see, men need reassurance just as much as women do, so if you want to do your boyfriend a favor, reassure him from time to time without him having to ask for it.
10) For you to trust him with his decisions
Guys want the women they’re dating to trust them, but sometimes, women don’t want to trust their boyfriends’ decisions.
When you’re in a relationship, you have to trust your boyfriend to do certain things even when you don’t fully understand why he’s doing them, but you also have to trust him to make his own decisions and not constantly second-guess everything he does.
Likewise, if you’re dating a guy and you don’t trust him to do certain things, you have to be willing to let him do those things and trust that he’s going to make the right decisions.
If you’re in a relationship and you want the guy to trust you and be willing to trust you, you have to be willing to trust him, too.
The thing is, when he is the more masculine energy in your relationship, in order for your polarity to work properly, you will have to drop into your feminine energy, which means giving up control and letting go.
Trust him fully to make the right choices.
Now: guys will not know how to ask for this from their girlfriends, but they all crave the same thing: a woman who can trust them.
11) A little more attention
Although a lot of guys don’t mind spending time giving attention to their girlfriends, they sometimes wish that their girlfriends would pay a little more attention to them.
Guys don’t mind spending time with their girlfriends, but they do sometimes wish that their girlfriends would give them some more attention.
Even though it might not be the most romantic thing to say, guys do want their girlfriends to pay a little more attention to them and not always turn all of their attention on their phones or friends.
You see, making some time to give your boyfriend a backrub, or to hug him, or spend the day together is a thing lots of guys would love, but are afraid to ask for.
12) A little more affection
Although guys don’t mind being affectionate with their girlfriends, sometimes they wish that women would be a little more affectionate with them.
You see, a lot of the time, guys are the ones who initiate affection, like hugs or kisses, but from time to time, they would love it if you could show a little more affection.
This doesn’t have to be anything crazy, just show him more affection, grab his hand while you’re walking, cuddle up when you’re watching something – that kind of stuff.
Guys don’t know how to ask for it, but they want it, believe me!
13) Commitment and exclusivity
Being exclusive is important, but guys want to be able to ask for a commitment without feeling like they’re being rushed into something and without feeling like they’re being controlled or pressured.
For example, if you’re seeing someone and you’re curious about dating other people, tell him up front that you’re interested in being with him but that you’re also open to dating other people.
Don’t get mad at him if he’s also seeing other people, but don’t invite him to meet your family or talk about the future with him, either.
A guy would like to be able to ask for commitment and exclusivity without being put on the spot or feeling like he’s being attacked.
The thing is, in a relationship, some guys will be insecure about their girlfriend’s behavior.
Maybe she is flirting with other guys, or he knows she is talking to other people on her phone.
In those cases, it can be really hard for some guys to bring this topic up and ask for exclusivity.
You see, they don’t want to feel like they’re being irrational or that they’re being insecure.
The thing is, they are being completely rational. If you are in a relationship, there will be certain boundaries that you will expect to be respected.
In those cases, being open and honest with your boyfriend about your intentions is the best way to deal with it.
What to do with this information
When you’re in a relationship, you want to make sure that you’re giving your boyfriend what he needs while being able to get what you need, too.
If you’re noticing that he wants something that you’re not giving him, don’t be afraid to talk to him about it.
Relationships are all about communication, so make sure you’re talking to each other and getting your needs met respectively.
