Confidence within a relationship is a wonderful feeling. It brings a sense of self-assured certainty and optimism that leaves both parties in no doubt of their feelings and stance in the partnership.
But why is this?
When we feel confident, we are feeling self-love and the ability to actualise it.
Confidence can create strong, sanguine relationships with friends, family and lovers.
Let’s take a look at nine things confident partners never do in relationships.
1) Ignore red flags
Red flags can be difficult to spot when you are in a relationship, they say ‘love is blind’ and, to a great extent, this is true.
There is a link between confidence and having your eyes wide open in a relationship.
It’s true that confident people are not always born confident, it can be learned.
Many confident people have been through traumatic times in the past and learned methods of self-care to try and limit any future pain.
Confidence in a relationship is knowing what you want and setting boundaries. If these boundaries are continually over-stepped, it is likely that a confident person will take it upon themselves to step back from the relationship.
2) Take all the blame
Navigating arguments in relationships can be a tricky business.
Everyone has different ideals, and expectations in life – and that is okay!
But heightened emotions and tipping scales of what is expected of a person in a partnership can be difficult to balance.
So how do confident people steer the helm?
Confident people are self-assertive and will often not take all the blame after an argument.
They have the self-worth required to see when things are their fault and when they are not.
Confident people will often take a time out after an argument and then come back to their partner with an honest breakdown of what has happened, and why they think that is.
Pausing after an argument and breaking it down is a skill that can be learned over time.
To view the argument as though you are completely external to it and question it without prejudice can help you feel more self-assured in your response and the amount of blame you take.
3) Put themselves last
Confident people rarely put themselves last or consider themselves negatively. Being positive about themselves is their major strength.
This does not mean that a confident partner might not cherish and adore the person they are in a relationship with, they are still more than capable, if not more likely to show and tell their partner all the ways they care about and love them.
Confident people can do wonderful things for others, but they will not forget to love themselves too and will put themselves first when needed.
Afterall, if they are happy in themselves, and are confident in self-love, they can spread more happiness to those around them!
4) Continually doubt themselves
Confident people are extremely self-assured. They are sanguine in most situations, with an air of optimism and positivity.
It is extremely rare for a confident person to have self-doubt. When we have self-doubt, it can consume us and make even small tasks feel impossible to overcome.
Confidence is the key element to drive out this feeling, to replace it with that brilliant sense of ‘I can do anything’.
When a confident person is in a relationship, they will not wait and ponder whether they are good enough – they already know they are, and it doesn’t stop there.
5) Settle for less
It is commonplace in a relationship to make sacrifices for your partner or meet them halfway with things.
This is what makes a healthy relationship, if you can compromise.
Confident people are great with compromises, but they will not settle for less when there is not a balance.
A confident person in a relationship will not give up everything they wanted to do in order to make the other person happy.
What happens if a confident person settles for less than they need?
If they feel that they are being treated unfairly and continually having to lower their expectations in their relationship, a confident person will often try to voice their concerns or even step away from the relationship.
6) Avoid heated discussions
Confident people know to wait until a situation has calmed down before tackling it and will often take a break before discussing an argument.
A confident partner will not shy away from conversations that need to be had. Anxious feelings have a way of growing when emotions are bottled up, they build and spill over (sometimes with a bang).
A confident person knows this and will take steps to ensure that any issues are faced head on. They will not leave an issue to escalate but will openly speak their mind with their partner. So how exactly do they do this?
They know to give each person (including themselves) time to calm down and reassociate after any heated discussion or argument. This makes it easier for them to speak their mind, and calmly discuss how the problems can be repaired and dealt with.
7) Look to their partner for self-validation
We all know that relying on partners and seeking self-validation from them is common in relationships. It is easy to start relying on that person for your entire emotional make-up because;
- They are always there.
- They care about you and your feelings.
- They know you better than anyone else does.
However, these three points can be a trap, before you realize you are in a negative spiral, putting far too much pressure on your spouse and unable to self-regulate the positivity you need.
So how do people with self-confidence manage?
Confident people will not continually seek self-validation from their partner. A confident person is positive and self-assured, meaning that they can pull that validation from within themselves. When you know and love yourself, self-validation comes naturally.
8) Diminish their partner
Confident people do not continually put-down or diminish their partner. They have the presence of mind to be sure of that person and that they want to be in a relationship with them. But why?
When love is involved, a confident person will never seriously speak negatively or disrespect their partner, at home or outside of the house.
Confident people lift others up, they want the world to see how great their partner is, they want to support the person they care most about and are far more likely to sing their partner’s praises than to put them down.
9) Lose themselves
Confident people make sure to make time for themselves in a relationship.
It so often happens that people in relationships miss their friends or slowly stop pursuing their favorite hobbies.
Confident people have the foresight and self-worth to ensure they continue doing what they love, be it keeping up with friends, taking a day a week for their hobbies or ensuring they have time each day to practice activities that make them feel like themselves. How does this help a relationship?
A confident person is unlikely to lose themselves in a relationship and is far more likely to draw their partner into their friendship circles and hobbies so they can enjoy them together.
They also see that the same needs should be met in their partner, and are able to take a step back and allow them the same freedom of self within the relationship.