Being classy doesn’t mean you’re posh or stuck-up. Classiness has nothing to do with social class or wealth.
Classiness is an attitude – one that anyone can and should adopt.
A classy individual knows how to carry themselves with grace and elegance. According to vocabulary.com, being classy also refers to having high standards for how you behave.
So, the main difference between classy and trashy people is that the former cares about how they appear in public. They are conscious about not looking rude, disrespectful, or ill-mannered.
Because of this, there are certain things classy people would never think about doing in the presence of others.
Here’s my list of 12 classy behaviors we should all seek to follow…
1) Swearing loudly or profusely
It’s not that classy people never swear, but they do it discreetly and choose their curse words wisely.
Classy people are articulate with their verbal expression, so they do not use the word “f**k” in every sentence to express their annoyance at something.
They also never swear casually; you’ll only ever hear a classy person swear when there is a real need. And even then, they will try to do it quietly so that others around them do not hear.
The reason for this is that classy people see swearing in public as being disrespectful.
If you are in a cafe or restaurant and are swearing loudly, you never know who might be around. For example, a young child could be in earshot.
Classy people are always conscious of this.
2) Talking down to service staff
Another thing classy individuals see as disrespectful is being rude or patronizing to service staff.
Contrary to misconceptions, classy people don’t see others as below or beneath them. Instead, they believe that everyone should be treated with respect and kindness.
Even if a server messes up their order, they would not curse or undermine them or give them the silent treatment to show their annoyance.
3) Shouting or expressing anger
Because classy people have respect for others, they don’t like to shout or start arguments.
Classy people know that anger gets them nowhere. By getting angry about it, the only person who will lose is themselves. So, it is simply not worth it.
Because of this, they can keep their cool and avoid lashing out, even if the other person disrespected them, such as by pushing in front of them in a queue.
They also understand that getting angry in public poorly reflects on themselves, and classy people are always careful of their public image.
That’s why you’ll also never see them doing the following…
4) Arguing with their partner
Every relationship involves some conflict and disagreement. But, classy individuals believe relationship issues should stay within the home.
Classy people never argue or fight with their partners in public. If their partner were to do something that made them angry or unhappy, they would wait until they got home to discuss it.
You may wonder, is it healthy to suppress your anger and annoyance like this?
Classy people don’t avoid public arguments because they want to ignore the issue. They do it because they know it is not the time or the place.
According to many relationship experts and psychologists, this is exactly how you should handle a disagreement with a loved one when out and about.
Dr. Joshua Klapow, a well-known behavioral scientist and licensed clinical psychologist, says that arguing with your partner in public can cause irreversible damage to the relationship. Having others hear about your private life in this way can be highly embarrassing, leading to feelings of resentment toward your partner.
And when it comes to their private lives, classy people are careful not to share any aspects in public…
5) Talking about their private lives
Have you ever been in a cafe where you couldn’t help but overhear a loud group of women moaning about their partner’s bad habits or complaining about their lack of sex life?
These are not classy individuals at all.
Classy people don’t like to share their relationship problems with friends.
This is not because they want to pretend everything is great but because they have too much respect for their partner to “air their dirty laundry.”
To them, relationship problems should stay in the relationship. They might tell their friends they are having difficulties but wouldn’t go into detail.
Psychotherapist Lisa Brookes Kift agrees, saying that complaining about your partner to others can be toxic to your relationship. Not only can it be seen as being disloyal, but it can also lead your friends to form prejudices towards your partner.
6) Gossiping or laughing at others
It’s not just their partners that classy individuals would never gossip about. They don’t partake in any kind of gossip, idle talk, or mocking.
A classy person would never join in with colleagues speaking badly about the boss.
If a stranger in the cafe did something embarrassing, a classy person would never laugh at or mock them.
Classy individuals have high self-worth and already feel good about the person they are. Therefore, they do not need to judge, mock, or gossip about others to make themselves feel better.
This is also why they have no need to do the following…
7) Showing off their achievements
Classy people are secure in themselves, so they don’t need to:
- Dominate the conversation
- Talk over others
- Show off their achievements or physical possessions.
Classy people are good at holding balanced, insightful conversations and are great listeners. Rather than only talking about themselves, they will ask genuine questions about the other person.
What’s more, as classy individuals are very private, they prefer to celebrate their achievements in the privacy of their home with their nearest and dearest.
So you’ll never find a classy person at a party telling anyone who will listen how expensive their watch is or how much money they make.
And talking about parties, here’s something else you’ll never see a classy person doing at one…
8) Getting excessively drunk
Classy people NEVER make fools of themselves in public.
So they are always conscious not to put themselves in situations where this could happen, such as drinking too much.
They know that having one too many could result in them losing control and making poor decisions.
They still enjoy a glass of vino, but they know what their alcohol limit is, and they ALWAYS respect it.
9) Talking with their mouth full
Of course, classy people have good table manners. So one thing you’ll never find them doing is talking with a mouth full of food.
Classy people see this both as bad manners and incredibly disgusting – because surely no one wants to see half-chewed food in anyone’s mouth!
Talking while chewing also takes you away from the experience of eating. When you’re chatting away, you cannot savor the food and appreciate the delicious flavors in your mouth.
So, taking small bites and only speaking when your mouth is empty isn’t just respectful to the people you are dining with but also to the chef who carefully prepared the food for you.
10) Putting their feet up on chairs
For many reasons, resting your feet on a chair in public is disrespectful and trashy.
- Everyone knows shoes are dirty, but our socks and bare feet harbor germs. So putting your shoes or feet somewhere where other people sit or eat is incredibly unhygienic.
- Putting your feet on a seat on public transport reduces the seating available for others. And when you do remove your feet for someone to sit down, they have to knowingly sit somewhere dirty!
- Shoes also damage chairs by causing abrasions, which, over time, contribute to increased wear and tear.
Considering how bad this public behavior is, you can be sure that only unclassy people would even think of doing it!
Classy people have respect for others and the world around them, so they always tidy up after themselves.
For example, when enjoying a picnic in the park, they will ensure they leave the area spotless.
Or, if their child dropped food all over the floor in a restaurant, they will clean as much of it up themselves as they can.
12) Being loud on their phone
Classy people are also conscious of not disturbing others. So they keep their voice down when talking on the phone and NEVER speak to someone on loudspeaker in public.
Likewise, you’ll never see a classy person listening to music without headphones or watching videos at high volume.
Being classy isn’t about wearing expensive clothes or using long words. It’s about respecting everyone you meet and knowing the impact your words and actions can have.
So why should we seek to adopt a more classy attitude?
Well, respect is earned. The more kindness and respect you show to others (and yourself), the more you will get back!