9 things a high-value woman does differently in relationships

First thing’s first, being a high-value woman isn’t about having certain rules based on judgments of herself or others.

That means there’s no room for outdated ideals or misogynistic perspectives here.

It also means that she is able to keep everyone in her life accountable, not just her romantic relationships. 

So her values are integrated throughout all aspects of her life because she understands that she deserves to experience good in all ways.

With that out of the way, here are 9 things a high-value woman does differently in relationships.

1) They keep themselves accountable.

As mentioned before, you can expect a high-value woman to keep herself accountable.

They know they are worthy to experience love and respect from others. But more than that, they know they deserve to love themselves too.

In fact, it isn’t necessarily about how you love yourself that makes it “high-value.” Meaning you don’t need to spend a lot of money on yourself to prove your worth.

I mean you could! But my point is that loving yourself means you recognize self-love as a feeling that’s more fulfilling than anything else.

No one knows you like you do, and that’s your power.

That means she is willing to spend the time to reflect and become self-aware. So that she can figure out what she wants, needs and ask for it.

2) They love and breathe self-care.

Why wouldn’t she?

It’s the time she gets to experience her favourite person and her attention.

Maybe she takes herself to her favourite conventions for her hobbies!

Or maybe she takes time to go to a nice spa.

Bottom line is, she isn’t afraid to invest in herself and her happiness. That means everyone else has to take the backseat sometimes!

And you can’t bring problems into her life that she shouldn’t have to deal with! Like your dramas that you have because you can’t set healthy boundaries.

Or petty mind games that take her energy away from herself.

You won’t feel that obsessive love from her because she knows it’s not healthy to focus all her energy on one person.

Her love for herself makes her magnetic, and you’ll miss her when she isn’t around. So if you’re not at peace with yourself, leave her alone for everyone’s sake.

3) They know what the patriarchy is about.

She’s educated!

She understands what an imbalance in power looks like because she has taken the time to confront all the ways she was conditioned to hate herself.

It’s no secret that little girls are taught to doubt themselves from a young age.

It’s no coincidence that an ambitious man will be respected while an ambitious woman is looked at as someone who is daydreaming too much.

Even if a woman isn’t treated with explicit violence, she is never seen as anything beyond her gender unless a person has actively unlearned all the ways they’ve benefitted from misogyny.

And what’s more, a high-value woman is able to look at herself beyond the injustices she has faced as a woman.

She understands that the patriarchy may harm women explicitly, it implicitly affects all of us.

4) So they will treat you as an equal.

No matter who you are, she knows that equality starts within herself and extends from herself.

So she will view you as more than your gender. And she will want you to be vulnerable and human before you fulfill your duties that these gender roles have assigned to you.

That means she won’t expect you to do anything because you are a man.

She will not pass judgment onto you because you exist beyond the gender binary.

Like I mentioned, they know what the patriarchy is all about. And they know that as Audre Lorde once said, caring for yourself isn’t self-indulgence, it’s self-preservation.

And I’m paraphrasing, but that is the greatest form of political warfare.

So while a woman who knows her worth might apply pressure for the people around her to grow, she also creates space for everyone to exist as themselves.

That means what she offers you is a chance to live beyond the systems you are born into, and therefore is invaluable.

5) They love deeply and authentically.

9 things a high value woman does differently in relationships 2 9 things a high-value woman does differently in relationships

As if allowing and encouraging you to be yourself wasn’t enough.

A high-value woman is able to offer you the same level of love and respect that she asks for.

That means she will be able to respect your boundaries because she knows the value of having them. 

And also that she will surround you with positivity and growth because she is able to sustain that within herself.

Independence is a must for these women, so you’ll never feel alone in carrying the burdens of financial responsibilities.

And because she doesn’t subscribe to traditional ideas on relationships, she won’t make decisions that go against her values for another person.

She is loyal to herself first and that means she has chosen the people around her carefully.

You can trust her to value you – no matter if you’re her husband, wife, friend, or whoever.

6) They know a closed door when they see one.

People who don’t have a strong sense of self will feel intimidated by someone who does.

And instead of admitting that they are a closed door, a lot of high-value women get labeled as “high-maintenance.

Like, who is she to ask for more?

Luckily, these women have done enough shadow work to know that the negativity people project on them are a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

And the only way they can move forward and get what they want, is by leaving behind closed doors.

Understanding this will allow you to move quicker and not need to invest a lot of down time trying to manage someone else’s insecurities.

If you wouldn’t ask for anything that you wouldn’t be willing to offer if the roles were reversed, you’re not being crazy.

Take this as a sign to not think yourself small. There are better quality relationships and experiences waiting for you.

7) They don’t micromanage anyone.

A high-value woman might wear a lot of different hats because she knows what it takes to show up for herself. She is self-sufficient and limitless.

But one hat she refuses to wear is that of a babysitter for another adult.

If someone has you needing to act like one, demand compensation.

Seriously, people that are worth your time and trust, shouldn’t make you feel like you have to constantly look over your shoulder. Or theirs.

Also, everyone deserves someone who is emotionally and mentally the same age as you. Because relationships aren’t all about making the other person feel good.

It’s about being understood. Can you really say that someone who is stuck mentally in their high school days can help you feel supported and loved as you evolve?

And let’s look at it the other way: do they have the capacity to appreciate and truly cherish any of the effort you put into them?

We are all responsible for our own growth – don’t rush into parenthood just because someone doesn’t understand this.

8) They aren’t moved by the bare minimum.

Because they understand that love and respect isn’t just a compliment or kind gesture.

It’s consistency, trust, self-responsibility – it’s everything that has to do with how you can enhance their stability.

A lot of people will create highs and lows in a relationship dynamic so that when they do the bare minimum, it feels like heaven.

They’ll do what they should’ve done in the beginning and then act confused because you aren’t impressed.

If a high-value woman was kind enough to show you an ounce of patience when you showed yourself as a closed door, take that as mercy.

And approach her with respect and allow her to make her own decisions.

Because that’s what she’ll do anyway.

9) They have the answers!

Maybe not to everything – or maybe they do!

Who am I to limit another woman’s potential to be correct?

Joke aside, a high-value woman has made peace with herself and therefore will encourage others to. That means when there is conflict, she will not run.

And your relationship with her will require you to step up and not be defensive. No more blame games!

Taking accountability for yourself will bring about a lot of change in both of your lives. Those growing pains, a sign that your relationship is becoming stronger.

You’ll learn to view life with more openness because consistent growth will change your perspective for the better.

It will leave you wondering how someone so stable can offer so many new experiences.

A high-value woman will keep it real.

That means there’s no room for anything but.

Having a relationship with a high-value woman will change your life because she forces you to look at yourself like you’ve never done before.

And if you have the guts, you will learn to see yourself with a love that teaches you the power of self-actualization and metamorphosis.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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