12 things a high-value man does differently in a relationship

If you’re tired of dating guys who don’t know up from down and treat you poorly, take a look at this. 

I’m going to go through the biggest differences that set a high-value man apart in a relationship. 

It’s not about looks or outer labels, it’s about key things he does differently… 

1) He looks after himself

The high-value man looks after himself. 

This means he stays clean, practices top-tier hygiene and cares about his style

He doesn’t show up looking like a slob and fart loudly. 

He dresses in clothes that fit him and if he wears eyeglasses then they match his complexion and overall vibe. 

He exercises and feels good in his own body as much as possible.

He brings that top-quality vibe to any interaction he has in his life, including you if you date him! 

2) He looks after you 

High-quality men actually care for their partner in a relationship. 

This means being generous materially but also with their time, attention and affection. 

There’s an important distinction to be made on this point, however: 

High-value men are not “simps.”

The simp does anything to get a woman’s attention who he is attracted to and is ultra-nice in the hopes of winning her heart or body. 

The high-value man doesn’t worship any woman, nor does he say yes every time a partner asks him for a favor. 

He’s got boundaries and limits, but he voluntarily chooses to be considerate and kind to a person he cares for:

Simple as that… 

3) He communicates 

The low-value man grunts and mumbles. He shrugs and ignores questions, apathetic and indifferent. 

The high-value man communicates. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean he talks a lot:

It’s more about quality than quantity. 

It does mean that when he has something to say he goes ahead and says it. 

He’s not looking for approval or attention for what he says, but when something needs to be discussed he’ll be willing to do so, even if it’s about a tricky or contentious relationship subject. 

4) He has a life 

This may seem obvious, but it needs to be emphasized:

Any high-value man is going to have his own life


  • His own career
  • His own friends
  • His own hobbies
  • His own interests and priorities in addition to you

The irony is that any man who dedicates his entire well-being and time to a partner becomes incredibly unattractive. 

There’s an obvious reason for that: it’s clingy and unattractive! 

The fact that any high-value man has his own life also ties directly into this next point. 

This is hard for some people to hear, but a man who actually respects himself and others is willing to say a harsh but clear word:


5) He tells you no

The low-value man is deeply scared to say this in a relationship, because he is scared of losing you. 

The high-value man has things he just plain doesn’t want to do or won’t agree to. 

The high-value man is willing to sometimes put himself or his decisions first. 

This may be controversial to say, and no man should always be saying no or disregarding the views of his partner…

There is a balance here, clearly!

Still, the ability to say no and mean it is an undeniable characteristic of a guy who’s worth your time

Any guy who’s too scared to stand up for himself in case he loses you never should have had you in the first place! 

6) He trusts you 

man of high integrity does differently in a relationship 12 things a high-value man does differently in a relationship

The high-value man trusts his partner in a relationship

There are many times when a lesser quality man might be on the fence and become possessive or paranoid

A high value man knows that love and relationships always entail an element of risk:

He also knows that if you cheat or let him down in another way that it’s yourself you’re hurting most of all. 

He’s extending his trust to you and his heart:

But he’s never placing his own worth or future fully in your hands: that’s in his hands. 

7) He doesn’t pinch pennies 

This goes back to the difference between a simp and a caring but self-respecting man. 

The high-value man is generous, but not out of obligation or any attempt to win a woman’s heart 

He’s loving because he chooses to be, and he’s generous because he wants to be. 

He has limits to his generosity, of course. 

But he’s never going to be that man whining about his monetary situation or arguing over a few dollars. 

Scrubs begone! 

8) He allows you your freedom

The mature and high-value man allows you your freedom.

He’s not possessive or jealous that you have a life apart from him. 

In the same way that he has his own life, friendships and career, he allows you the same basic freedoms. 

This would seem like common sense, but far too many insecure and resentful partners don’t have this kind of maturity and feel the need to be some kind of hall monitor for their own wife or girlfriend. 

You deserve better! 

9) He supports you when the chips are down

The low value man sees dating and relationships as transactional

He’s with you while you’re winning, but when you run into trouble or start gaining a bit of weight he’s out. 

The high value man only gets into something like a relationship because he wants to. 

That means if he’s in he’s in. 

As such, he’s not going to leave you as soon as the chips are down. 

He’s with you through ups and downs, and hopefully you feel the same about him, too. 

10) He talks through relationship issues 

If and when there are problems in the relationship, a high-value man doesn’t shut down or blame you for everything. 

He takes it slow and considers his reaction carefully. 

He’s willing to talk things through with you and be reasonable. 

Maybe you made a big mistake, maybe he did. 

Either way he is patient and willing to talk through what he’s thinking and feeling even if it’s difficult or awkward for him. 

As opposed to a less secure and lower value man who will just shut down or leave when times get tough, the high value guy is much more stalwart than that. 

This relates directly to the next point…

11) He doesn’t shut down or become petty 

Far too many men shut down when they aren’t sure what to say. 

As I noted in the previous point, a mature man is willing to talk over problems that come up in the relationship. 

He’s also willing to open up to you in general and deal with disagreements in a mature way. 

He doesn’t try to make you jealous or intentionally stop talking to you and leave your messages on “read” just to mess with you. 

He’s straightforward and not a game player. 

12) He’s not afraid of falling in love

The high value man is not desperate for love: that’s needy. 

At the same time he’s not scared of falling in love: that’s avoidant and immature. 

He’s in the middle, open to love but not forcing it. 

This is the position of a truly mature and emotionally intelligent guy:

Sure he’d love to fall in love. 

But he’s not grasping for it. And he’s also not beholden to all sorts of fears of love. 

If it happens, so be it. If not he’s going to be focused on his goals. And if he’s not feeling it in his relationship with you (or if he is) he’s going to be honest about it. 

Setting high standards in a relationship

Having high standards in a relationship is a great idea, as long as you stick to them. 

The key is not to let the high standards overtake the present reality. 

No relationship will be perfect, and even the best guy is going to disappoint you sometimes!

The key is to not let the worst moments define the relationship while also being honest about where you feel this guy is at. 

Is he high-value?

Does he value himself? And what about you?

The answer to all of those should be yes, or at least that he is definitely on his way and actively working towards making every one of those answers a strong yes. 

Otherwise it’s really just a waste of both of your time.

Stay strong during the ups and downs, keeping your standards high and appreciating the lessons in dating someone very high value:

They not only make your life better, they also show you ways in which you can continue to increase your own value in relationships as well. 

Picture of Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

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