Earlier, I saw a video of an 8-year-old kid punching her mom. It wasn’t the “don’t-worry-this-is-just-playing” punch.
It was the “I-hate-you-I-want-to-hurt-you-very-much” punch.
I was not shocked. Yes, I was SHAKEN to the core.
Did the kid fail to learn good manners? Or did the parents fail in teaching it to their daughter?
After all, children learn more from what we are than from what we teach them.
After realizing that bad parenting results in undesirable behaviors, maybe it’s time for troubled parents to listen to what experts say about raising good kids.
Here’s how according to Harvard psychologists.
1. Children need quality time
Children need parents, not part-time visitors with a checkbook.
There’s no amount of money, gifts or toys that can replace quality time from you.
You might be with them physically but if you are always busy looking at your phone, this isn’t quality time.
(Did you have emotionally abusive parents? Check out our epic guide to find out.)
How can you give them time? By listening to what they say, talking to them and doing things together. It makes a huge difference in their lives.
Read a book, play with them or go camping/ fishing together!
Remember, to be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
Your nest will be empty one day, and you’ll have all the time in the world for yourself. But when your children are growing up, give them the quality time they need.
2. Be a good role model
Shinichi Suzuki said that children learn to smile from their parents.
Admitting mistakes, saying thank you, respecting other people and being a good person comes from your example.
Practicing good habits in front of your kids will make them good-mannered as well.
It is because, as the saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
3. Teach responsibility
Teaching responsibility starts at home.
At an early age, you can instill responsibility through simple tasks like keeping their toys and making their bed.
Remind them that other people’s feelings are important too.
It is not only important to be happy. It’s important to do the right thing even when it is hard.
4. Learn to appreciate the right way
Just like anything else, excess isn’t always desirable.
Harvard psychologists say that it is important to appreciate kids when they do something nice.
But showing gratitude for things they SHOULD be doing will just make them spoiled.
So, only give praise when they carry out unexpected acts of kindness. Do not overdo it.
5. Be considerate to all
According to a scientific study, it is natural for kids to be affectionate to their family and friends.
But parents of good kids help them be considerate to those who need it.
You can encourage them to put themselves in other people’s shoes.
Not only will they be thankful for what they have, they will also learn to empathize.
The bottom line is:
Childhood is the time when personality is being developed. In fact, author M. Mendizza said that 95% of what a child learns is through experience.
And by guiding them not just through words but also by actions, they will always have your examples to live by.
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