The art of subtle charm: 8 habits that make people irresistibly attracted to you

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be total charmers and some aren’t?

Or why certain people get all the attention and others just fade into the background?

Well, these charming people have some habits in common that make people irresistibly attracted to them. 

You too can become a charmer, if you adopt some of these habits.

1) Being confident

Confident people exude positive energy. Their self-assurance can be contagious, creating an uplifting and optimistic atmosphere that naturally draws people towards them.

How often have you gone out to a bar and seen a very confident guy surrounded by a flock of women? Confidence is key.

I know if I was out looking for a potential partner, I would be looking for a person who seemed sure of themself, someone who takes over the room. And not the person sitting quietly in the corner. We all want someone who will take charge and make us feel safe. Basic human instincts are in play here.

I know we’re not all born confident, and as a child, I was very shy.

But shyness didn’t do me any favors. So when I started high school, I just decided I wouldn’t be shy anymore. I faked it until I made it. And I can say without a doubt this has helped me immensely. Not only to find someone who thinks I’m irresistibly attractive but also to make new friends and find new business opportunities. 

So, get up, get out there, and fake it til you make it.

2) Being generous

How do you feel when someone gives you something that you didn’t expect? I know it makes me like them a whole lot more. It even makes me want to reciprocate the generous gesture or to pay it forward.

It doesn’t have to be something big, even something as small as sharing a chocolate bar or a bag of chips can make you seem generous. I know that when someone buys me a drink, shares their pizza, or makes me a cup of coffee, I am immediately more attracted to them because of how they’ve suddenly made me feel.

Generosity can make people enraptured by you because it shows a selfless and caring nature, creating a positive and warm impression that fosters deep connections. 

We’re all drawn to kindness. It makes us feel loved and appreciated, a very attractive feeling.

3) Being funny

Nothing’s better than a good laugh. 

Laughter is proven to connect people and “promote social bonding” as it triggers the release of endorphins. Endorphins are the hormones that make us feel good. So, if someone is making us feel good, boom! Attraction.

I have a good friend who swears he only attracts women because he’s funny. He thinks humor is his superpower. The one way to get the ladies. And I’d have to agree that he is very funny and maybe that’s why I like hanging out with him.

Humor acts as social glue, fostering connections and making people feel good, creating an attractive and enjoyable atmosphere. A good laugh can be a powerful tool for forming positive and lasting impressions in social interactions. 

These are exactly the types of impressions we want to leave on people if we are looking to charm them.

4) Remembering the details 

Can you think of a time when someone remembered a small detail from a conversation that you had? How did it make you feel?

Remembering details makes you attractive because it shows a genuine interest in others, creating a feeling of value and importance. It shows that you are attentive and considerate, and can deepen connections by acknowledging and appreciating the other person. 

Sometimes it can be quite hard to remember small details because it means you have to be paying attention to the person, and not thinking about what you’re going to say next. (As I catch myself doing often). 

Try some active listening techniques to help you engage well in the conversation and in turn be able to remember the small details;

  • Try to maintain eye contact (or look in the general direction of the eyes if you find this difficult)
  • Paraphrase what they are saying, so it sounds like you are interested, and makes it easier for you to remember what they were telling you
  • Ask clarifying questions if you’re unsure about something
  • Minimize distractions. Put your phone away, stop looking up at the TV, and give them your full attention.

5) Using warm body-language 

if you want to be more likable say goodbye to habits The art of subtle charm: 8 habits that make people irresistibly attracted to you

Did you know that our body language can impact whether we seem approachable or not?

A lot of people are asking people to stay away without even knowing it.

Some warm, inviting, and attractive body language can look like this:

  • A smile. I know that for many people, this isn’t a natural state. My poor sister always has people telling her that when they first met her they thought she wasn’t very friendly because she doesn’t always have a smile on her face
  • Eye contact (this one is coming up a lot!)
  • Open body language. Try to avoid folding your arms or standing hunched over
  • Proximity. You don’t want to be too close, or too far away from the person you’re talking to
  • Nodding can show active listening and can create a positive flow of conversation
  • A slight tilt of the head shows interest and engagement
  • Relaxed facial expressions (just keep that smile on there) also show that you are relaxed and friendly

6) Have a positive attitude

Are you attracted to negative grumps? No, me neither. 

A positive attitude makes you incredibly attractive because it radiates optimism and resilience, which are very appealing qualities. A positive mindset not only uplifts your own spirits but also draws others toward your contagious energy, bringing a vibrant and magnetic presence that people naturally gravitate towards.

A positive attitude is even more attractive when something has gone wrong. Say you’re out at a restaurant and someone brushes past your table and your drink falls over. There are two ways you could react to this. Getting angry and/or saying something rude, or accepting that it was an accident and not worrying about it. 

If you were out and saw this scene, which reaction would you find more attractive?

7) Expressing gratitude

Witnessing someone showing gratitude for something is probably one of the most heartwarming things to see. Whereas seeing someone with a blazé attitude, well it’s about as heartwarming as opening an empty fridge. 

Practicing gratitude makes you undeniably attractive because it reflects emotional maturity and a deep appreciation for life’s experiences. Demonstrating gratitude not only enhances your well-being, but also attracts others who are drawn to your positivity. This enables you to create and cultivate genuine connections.

If you find it hard to show gratitude, start small. I started keeping a gratitude diary. At first, I would write down 3 things I had been grateful for each evening. After a while, I could think of more things, and my list grew.

Soon I was writing a page each evening for all the things I was grateful for each day. This changed the way I saw the world and helped me to think about things I was grateful for throughout the day too.

8) Give compliments

Giving compliments is scientifically proven to make people feel good! When you make someone feel good, they will remember that. 

Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Sometimes compliments that people give me make such an impact, that I never forget them. A friend of mine with an amazing fashion sense once told me that she loved my earrings. Those are now my go-to earrings. Another friend complimented a cake I’d baked her, and I was full of confidence to go off and bake another for someone else.

Compliments are key to becoming a charmer. Not too many, however, just enough to make someone smile.

Final thoughts

In embracing the art of subtle charm through these eight habits, you have the power to become irresistibly attractive. Each habit contributes to fostering meaningful connections.

By incorporating these traits into your daily interactions, you elevate your charisma and draw others toward your uplifting and magnetic presence.

Remember that some of these habits come easily to certain people and not others. Start small. Try one thing at a time. Eventually, you will notice a change in how you are treated by those around you!

Picture of Louisa Lopez

Louisa Lopez

Louisa is writer, wellbeing coach, and world traveler, with a Masters in Social Anthropology. She is fascinated by people, psychology, spirituality and exploring psychedelics for personal growth and healing. She’s passionate about helping people and has been giving empowering advice professionally for over 10 years using the tarot. Louisa loves magical adventures and can often be found on a remote jungle island with her dogs. You can connect with her on Twitter: @StormJewel

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