The art of staying single

I used to think that being single was something to be fixed. Everywhere I looked, society seemed to say that coupling up was the norm, the goal, the only way to be complete. But over time, I’ve come to understand that there’s an art to staying single, and it’s not about being alone forever. It’s about embracing the “single now.”

This isn’t about closing yourself off from love or settling for less. It’s about living life your own way and being open to the possibility of meeting someone special. But that someone won’t complete you; they will join up with you. It’s a journey of self-empowerment and growth, where you decide what makes you happy and fulfilled.

In this article, I’ll go through 7 key steps that show there’s more to staying single than you might think. It’s a pathway not just to independence, but also to a richer, more fulfilling life, whether you eventually find a partner or not.

1. Embrace being single right now

I used to think that being single was something wrong with me, but I’ve learned that’s not true. Being single right now doesn’t mean I’ll be single forever. It just means I’m enjoying my own company today, and that’s okay.

This first step is about enjoying where you are at this moment. It’s not about rushing to find someone or feeling bad that you’re alone. It’s about being happy with yourself and your life just as it is.

I’ve found that when I enjoy being single, I can focus on things I love to do and spend time with people I care about. I can make choices just for me without worrying about what someone else wants.

So, the first step is simply this: enjoy being single right now. It’s not a bad thing. It’s a chance to learn about yourself and what you like.

2. Don’t settle for less

When I was feeling the pressure to find someone, I used to think that maybe I should just settle for someone, anyone, so I wouldn’t be alone. But I’ve learned that’s not the right way to go about it.

The second step is about knowing your worth and not settling for less. It’s about understanding that being single is better than being with the wrong person. It’s not about finding someone just to say you have someone; it’s about finding the right person, even if that takes time.

I’ve realized that I want someone who truly makes me happy, who understands me, and who I can share my life with in a meaningful way. And until I find that person, I’m okay being single.

So, don’t rush into a relationship just because you feel you should be in one. Take your time. Know what you want and wait for the person who meets your standards. You deserve the best, and it’s worth waiting for the right person to come along. Remember, being single and happy is much better than being in a relationship and feeling unfulfilled. It’s your life, and you get to decide what’s best for you.

3. Focus on yourself

After learning not to settle for less, I began to understand something really important: it’s a great time to focus on myself. Being single isn’t just a gap between relationships; it’s a chance to learn, grow, and figure out who I really am.

The masterclass on the art of love and intimacy by Rudá Iandê was crucial for me in figuring out who I am. It contains a powerful exercise that helps to figure out what it is you really want from a relationship.

This third step is about taking the time to explore your own interests, hobbies, and passions. Maybe you’ve always wanted to take up painting, learn a new instrument, or travel to a place you’ve never been. Now’s the time to do those things.

I’ve discovered that focusing on myself has helped me become more confident and sure of what I want in life. I’ve tried new things, met new people, and grown in ways I never expected.

It’s not about being selfish; it’s about getting to know yourself better. When you spend time doing what you love and taking care of yourself, you become a happier person. And if you do meet someone special, you’ll be in a great place to share your life with them, knowing exactly who you are and what you love.

So, take this time to focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy and explore new things. It’s a special time that’s all about you, and it’s something to be enjoyed and cherished.

4. Build strong friendships

Being single doesn’t mean being alone. I’ve learned that friendships can be just as fulfilling and important as romantic relationships. In this step, it’s all about building and nurturing strong friendships.

I’ve spent time with friends, both old and new, and found joy in these connections. Friends can provide support, laughter, and companionship. They’ve helped me feel connected and loved, even without a romantic partner.

So, make an effort to spend time with friends, or even make new ones. Join clubs, volunteer, or just reach out to someone you’d like to get to know better. Friendships can enrich your life in so many ways, and they’re an essential part of the art of staying single.

5. Learn to love your own company

I used to think I always needed someone around, but I’ve learned to love my own company. This step is about becoming comfortable being alone and enjoying your own presence.

I’ve taken myself out to dinner, watched movies alone, or just spent an evening reading a good book. And guess what? I’ve enjoyed it. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely; it can be a peaceful and enjoyable experience.

Learning to love your own company means you don’t have to rely on others for happiness. You can find joy in simple things and enjoy your own thoughts and hobbies. It’s a powerful step toward self-contentment.

6. Keep an open heart

Even though I’m embracing being single, I’ve also learned to keep an open heart. This step is about staying open to the possibility of love, without desperately seeking it.

I know that if someone special comes along, I’m open to exploring that connection. But I’m not in a rush, and I’m not seeking it out. I’m content where I am, but I’m also open to whatever comes next.

Keeping an open heart means being open to new experiences and people without putting pressure on yourself to find “the one.” It’s a balanced approach that allows you to enjoy being single while also being open to new possibilities.

7. Be open to possibilities

The final step in mastering the art of staying single is all about being open to possibilities. It’s something I’ve come to understand deeply: life is full of surprises, and being single means I’m open to whatever comes my way.

Being open to possibilities doesn’t mean I’m constantly looking for a relationship or expecting things to change overnight. It means that I’m living my life, enjoying being single, but also recognizing that things can change, and that’s okay too.

I’ve learned to embrace uncertainty and see it as an opportunity rather than something to fear. Whether it’s a new career opportunity, a chance to travel, or meeting someone special, I’m open to exploring it.

This approach has given me a sense of freedom and excitement about the future. I’m not tied down to a specific path or expectation. I’m simply living my life, enjoying where I am now, and staying open to the endless possibilities that may come my way.

Being open to possibilities has made my journey of staying single an adventure. It’s not a static state or a waiting room for something better. It’s a vibrant, fulfilling way of living, full of opportunities and surprises.

So here’s to being single and embracing it, not as a temporary phase but as a wonderful way of living that’s full of potential. It’s been a journey of discovery for me, and I hope these seven steps can help you see the beauty and opportunity in staying single too. Whatever comes next, I know I’m ready for it, and I hope you feel the same way.

If you want some inspiration for embracing being single, watch my latest video. It’s on the experience of being single in a big city like Singapore.

Related: If you experience these 3 things, you’re truly embracing the Singaporean lifestyle