Is there ever a point where we reach the peak of our personal development? For me, I’m reaching my 40s and still consider myself a work in progress!
So, when it comes to emotional maturity, how do you know if you have it?
Emotional depth and maturity are psychological states that dictate our ability to cope with unexpected events, turmoil, and challenges that we encounter along the way.
Some people can regulate their emotions and calmly respond to difficult circumstances, while the rest of us experience panic and fear when things change, and we aren’t sure how to cope.
Fortunately, emotional maturity can be developed over time, and you only need to look at these 11 surprising habits of people with emotional depth and maturity to understand why.
1) They don’t take things to heart.
There are times when people lash out not because they’re vengeful and want to see your demise but because they’re carrying their own emotional baggage. Emotional maturity allows you to see this so that you don’t take it to heart.
This doesn’t mean that you’re giving the person the go-ahead to mistreat you. Not by any means! You just know that everyone has a unique life story, and they’re not all monsters that are out to get you.
This perspective allows emotionally mature individuals to respond in a non-emotional way, preventing the situation from escalating.
Let’s say that you get stuck in traffic, and the person next to you constantly honks their hooter. Rather than react with extreme anger and irritation, you think to yourself, “This person could be having a bad day; maybe they have personal problems at home, and they’re redirecting their frustration.”
As long as there’s no actual harm involved, emotional maturity gets people into the habit of letting things go instead of thinking that everyone’s bad.
2) They let go of their childhood misgivings.
When you’re emotionally mature, you look at life differently. You understand that things happen to people that affect their circumstances and change who they are.
This includes your parents.
There’s a lot that we might hold onto about our childhood that can build resentment and anger, but the biggest gift that you can give yourself is to forgive your parents for choices they made that you might not have agreed with.
People who have invested in their personal growth recognize that their parents may not have made the best decisions at times, but they’re human and were probably dealing with their own challenges.
3) They’re upfront and honest about who they are.
Out of sheer habit, emotionally deep individuals will say it like it is when it comes to their personalities and quirks.
If they’re making friends or starting a romantic relationship, they don’t hide who they are. If they’re stubborn or find something annoying, they let the other person know.
That’s who they are; take it or leave it.
When you’re emotionally balanced, you don’t feel the need to pretend or mask your quirks and personality.
If someone isn’t prepared to accept all of you, then you move on to that special person who will.
Being your authentic self: that’s the secret to happiness.
4) They learn to accept feedback.
Wouldn’t it be easier if, every time someone gave you criticism, you took it in stride? Well, this is exactly what someone with emotional maturity does.
They don’t see feedback as a personal attack because the other person is trying to show them what to work on to improve their skills.
It’s hard to have someone point out your shortcomings, but when delivered positively and constructively, it’s not about putting you down.
Think about this…
Is what they’re saying supposed to help you, or is it coming from a place of ill intent? Make it a habit.
The more you practice seeing feedback in this way, the easier it becomes to accept future criticism.
5) They forgive themselves.
Have you ever really forgiven yourself for choices that you made in the past that had significant consequences for your life?
Maybe you weren’t there for someone who needed you, or you failed to grasp an opportunity at work because fear and self-doubt were holding you back.
You can liberate yourself by forgiving your mistakes.
People with emotional depth don’t try to be perfect because it’s unattainable. Instead, they will face challenges and put their best foot forward. Even if this leads to failure, they stop feeling sorry for themselves before it leads to anger and regret.
It’s certainly a good habit to have.
6) They take their time with love.
Remember when you formed your first crush? It was sweet, and it felt like you fell in love instantly.
But fast forward to your adult life, and while you might not be developing crushes, you still don’t take your time when dealing with matters of the heart.
When you develop emotional inner strength and maturity, you hold back on love just a little bit. You realize that some people can look like a dream on the surface, but when you dig deeper, they aren’t the person you thought they were.
So, rather than be solely led by their hearts, they use their heads to stop them from rushing into relationships that could end in heartache.
There’s nothing wrong with taking some extra time to get to know someone.
Protect your heart and invest in good experiences by adopting a different approach to love, relationships, and even friendships.
7) They focus on the present.
We have a tendency to put all our hopes and dreams into big and long-term goals, but at the expense of the present.
But what if you made a habit of focusing on the present and appreciating the small wins of the day?
People with emotional depth put a lot of effort into building future life plans, but they don’t overlook their achievements and successes of the day.
They never forget to show gratitude.
They make a habit of living life in the moment because we only have control over the here and now.
8) They don’t place emphasis on what other people think.
What good can possibly come out of worrying about what other people think of you? It’s a waste of energy and time, and it robs you of your happiness.
Once you reach a state of emotional maturity, you realize that everyone has their opinions, but these shouldn’t influence how you live your life.
If you’re paying too much attention to the thoughts and opinions of outsiders, it’s time to train yourself to focus on what you want.
How you feel about yourself is all that should matter, and you should keep working towards your goals regardless of others’ expectations.
9) They accept that life isn’t set in stone.
Things don’t always go as planned. That’s just the way life is, and that’s fine because you have the emotional capacity and strength to manage the obstacles that land in your path.
This is what emotionally mature people recognize.
When life doesn’t work out the way you hoped, like when you don’t get the promotion despite the interview going so well, you feel like things around you are falling apart and you’re losing control.
The problem is when we put all our eggs in one basket, and there’s no plan B.
Always be hopeful, but accept reality when things go wrong. Life doesn’t always work in our favor, and when we have emotional depth, we understand this.
You’ll find that it becomes easier to manage challenges when they come your way.
10) They mean what they say.
Emotionally mature men and women don’t mix words, and they’d rather be honest and transparent with their loved ones because it avoids confusion and unnecessary arguments.
Being transparent isn’t being inconsiderate.
Transparency and honesty mean that you don’t hide information because you respect the people in your life.
They also know that life is short, and they feel that it’s important to tell the people closest to them that they love and care about them.
11) They learn to compromise.
Compromise isn’t about showing weakness or giving in to the wants of someone else. It’s actually one way to show strength and character.
Emotional maturity is about sharing with the people you love because you aren’t selfish, and it helps resolve conflict.
This is particularly true in relationships, where one person often feels like their needs and wants are being sacrificed to keep their partner happy.
When you meet someone halfway, you’re letting them know that you respect their needs and interests and value who they are.
Emotional maturity is not only about learning how to cope; it’s about forgiveness and not being afraid to be who you are.
Don’t you want to free yourself from the grip of uncertainty and anger?
The good news is that we can all develop emotional maturity, but it takes commitment, patience, and time.
Hopefully, once you recognize that you need to make a positive change, these 11 surprising habits of emotionally mature people can help you start on the right path.