8 subtle things women do that men find highly attractive, according to psychology

So there’s this guy…

You find him cute and you really want him to like you.

But you want to do it in a way that he won’t even suspect a thing.

In other words, you want to keep it classy.

Well, I’m here to help you do just that.

Here are 8 subtle things women do that men find highly attractive, according to psychology.

1) Laughing (especially at their jokes)

Humor is attractive to both sexes—but in different ways!

According to a study, in every context other than friendship, women like men who are funny while men like women who laugh at their jokes.

I noticed this when I was in high school.

I remember that the most popular girls giggled and laughed out loud when guys cracked jokes.

Meanwhile, I rarely laughed (I was trying to achieve the don’t-mess-with-me vibe) and I think it’s the reason why no guy ever asked me out!

I tried to lighten up and laugh more when I went to University, and voila! I got dates left and right.

So if you’re a woman and you want to attract a man, then you know what to do: learn to laugh a little.

2) Making fun of themselves

When a woman can laugh at herself, it shows that she’s agreeable, light-hearted, and fun—the traits most men find attractive in a woman.

Of course, we’re not talking about seriously belittling herself. Low self-esteem is not sexy!

We’re talking about laughing when the cake she baked is a total failure and saying “I should open a bakeshop!”

We’re talking about acting like a zombie when someone comments that she look too pale instead of taking their comments too seriously.

3) Trying out weird stuff

A survey of 327 young adults by René Proyer revealed that men find playful women very desirable.

What they mean by “playful”, it turns out, is simply having an exciting personality.

Exciting is subjective, but in general, it’s being open (and excited) to try new things and do something others don’t usually dare to do.

So if you want to be more attractive to men, live life a little more dangerously.

Sure, try skydiving if you’re truly into that…but you don’t have to.

Small and simple things are good enough to make them notice you.

Go try that exotic dish, go listen to that experimental music, and go on more unique adventures now and then.

And hey, if you won’t get the guy, at least you’re growing as a person!

4) Speaking well about others

Many women want to tear others down…and men know this.

They speak ill about other women, and they spread gossip like it’s what they’re put on earth for.

So if they meet a woman who doesn’t only NOT gossip, but actually praises other women (and other people in general), it’s just refreshing!

It shows that they have integrity, maturity, and kindness.

It also shows that they generally look at the bright side of things, which is also something men look for in a long-term partner.

While good looks is the first thing that a man notices, they’ll pursue you and stay with you for your personality traits.

And according to a study by sociologist Christine B. Whelan,  a woman’s dependable character has been a top priority for men, who ranked it at No. 1 as far back as 1939.

The study revealed that men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable.

So don’t spread the latest rumor about Susan because that’s not a really nice thing to do…and it won’t make you more attractive!

5) Nerding out

Read a book, read the news.

Obsess about certain topics.

Attend workshops.

Not only will you enrich your life, most men dig smart girls, too!

A study on attraction and psychological distance by Lora E. Park et al. have noted that intelligence in a woman is a big plus for men, well…as long as the woman is not beating them at something!

What does this mean?

It means they’ll find it hot that you’re geeking out about biology if you’re not colleagues and you’re not making them feel stupid.

It means they’ll love it if you’re great at chess as long as you don’t beat them at it.

Interesting huh.

Another thing to note is that some men are actually turned on by intelligence—and I mean sexually turned on.

Researchers at the school of Psychological Science at UWA found that 1 in 10 people are sapiosexual.

This means that some people actually do have a strong preference for intelligence over looks and personality.

6) Smiling and standing tallIntelligent person 8 subtle things women do that men find highly attractive, according to psychology

Smiling and having good posture can effortlessly boost your attractiveness level.

In one study, it reveals that when it comes to attraction, men actually do care a lot about attractiveness (even more than they care about intelligence).

This isn’t surprising.

But what I found interesting is that just a bit of improvement is all it takes for men to consider dating you.

They found out that a one-point increase in a woman’s attractiveness level (on a 1 to 10 scale) increased the chances that a man would want to see her again by an average of 14 percentage points.

You don’t have to wear a lot of make-up or wear stilettos. Simply improving your posture and smiling are enough to turn you from a 6 to an 8.

7) Establishing and maintaining eye contact

Dr. Earl Naumann, author of Love at First Sight, interviewed and surveyed 1500 individuals and concluded that love at first sight is indeed a thing!

According to his study, nearly two thirds of the population believes in love at first sight. And more than half of the believers actually experienced it.

He theorizes that if you believe in love at first sight, there’s a roughly 60 percent chance it will happen to you.

Now, of course, love at first sight doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to lock eyes. You can be mesmerized by someone even if they don’t know you exist.

But eye contact has a romantic power!

It shows interest especially if you stare for more than the average eye contact length of 3.3. seconds.

According to dating experts, eye contact is the beginning of courtship.

I dare say that when it comes to first encounters, the eyes are the sexiest part of the body.

I know a woman who’s not conventionally hot, but many men fall for her because she has a very sexy stare.

Want to be more attractive?

Express yourself with your eyes.

8) Saying “we can do this!”

Men are naturally drawn to women who are cheerful and optimistic.

And yes, it’s according to psychology.

Sociologist Christine B. Whelan’s study revealed that men consider “pleasing disposition” as one of the top five traits they look for in a partner.

So if you’re a woman and you want to attract more men, then work on improving your mindset.

Instead of being negative all the time, train yourself to be a little bit more optimistic.

And if you won’t attract men, then at least you’d be a much better person with a much sunnier disposition. You’ll win either way.

Final thoughts:

“Looks can open doors, but personality can keep them open.”

The things on this list are all very subtle, but in order for you to practice them, you have to work on your personality…and that takes time.

You can’t force yourself to be optimistic. You can’t force yourself to laugh at jokes you don’t find funny.

But you can slowly train yourself to be more appreciative, you can slowly teach yourself to be a little lighter, a little more open, a little more adventurous…

At the end of the day, you shouldn’t change yourself simply to impress a guy.

But as you can see, these changes could actually be good for you, too.

So what now?

It’s simple, really. If you want to attract men, work on becoming the best version of yourself. That will effortlessly make you attractive.

Picture of Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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