Nowadays, fakeness is everywhere.
We live in a world where appearances are often deceiving, stories are fabricated, and lives are carefully curated to represent perfection.
But lack of authenticity runs a lot deeper, especially when it comes to relationships.
A ‘fake’ woman is not one who wears lots of makeup or uses Instagram filters but rather one who exhibits behaviors and traits that are deceptive, manipulative, or insincere.
So, how can you identify the authenticity of a woman?
Drawing from research and psychological insights, here are nine ways to tell if a woman is truly genuine.
1) Her behavior is consistent
One of the most apparent indicators of a genuine person is consistency.
Genuine women maintain their values and behaviors regardless of the situation.
So, an authentic woman won’t blow hot and cold, acting interested one minute and then aloof the next.
Nor will she promise to do things only to always let you down by failing to follow through.
Instead, she will demonstrate self-awareness by constantly monitoring her behaviors and ensuring her actions align with her beliefs and values.
Another consistency that signals authenticity is how she treats you in different scenarios/environments.
A fake woman may be lovely and kind to you in front of others and then belittle you in private.
Conversely, she may show you respect when alone yet make jokes about you or criticize you when she is with her friends.
But a genuine woman will treat you the same way whether you’re alone or with others.
The reason for this is because:
- She is highly self-aware
- She is comfortable and secure in herself
That’s why you will notice no matter the situation, she is always her true self, which brings me to the following sign…
2) She never puts on a facade
A truly genuine woman will never pretend to be someone she is not.
Because she is comfortable in her own skin, she doesn’t seek validation through superficial means.
Therefore, she won’t put on a show in front of you or others to gain attention or win respect.
According to psychology, authentic people are less likely to engage in self-presentation strategies that distort their true selves.
Instead, they prioritize sincerity and authenticity in their interactions.
Thus, you will notice this lack of pretense in her straightforward and authentic demeanor. She won’t submit to societal pressure or try to fit any mold.
Instead, she will unapologetically embrace her true self (the good and the bad) and allow her uniqueness to shine bright.
3) Her actions match her words
A genuine woman will do what she says.
She won’t make empty promises or lofty statements but will follow through on her commitments.
According to psychological research, this demonstrates her reliability and trustworthiness as a partner and friend.
Research has also found links between authenticity and congruence between a person’s beliefs, words, and actions.
So, as the well-known quote goes, “People with good intentions make promises, but people with good character keep them.”
4) She openly shares her feelings
Genuine women are open and honest in their communication.
They don’t bottle things up, pretending to be okay when they are not. Nor do their words carry hidden agendas or manipulative undertones.
Instead, they have the emotional courage to recognize, accept, and express their emotions, even if they feel uncomfortable doing so.
This transparency fosters trust and reliability in relationships.
According to psychological studies, authenticity in communication is linked to higher emotional intelligence, enabling people to convey their messages clearly and empathetically.
That’s why you will notice a genuine woman never shies away from difficult conversations but instead strives to resolve conflicts through honest dialogue.
Of course, this emotional courage is only possible because of the following…
5) She’s not afraid to be vulnerable
As vulnerability researcher Brene Brown writes in her book ‘Dare to Lead…’
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It is about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest.”
We cannot be real and honest without vulnerability, which is why you will notice this trait in every genuine woman.
They understand that admitting weaknesses or mistakes does not diminish their worth. This openness makes them relatable and approachable.
What’s more, vulnerability is vital to a healthy and loving relationship.
According to relationship counselor Kari Rusnak, partners who are vulnerable towards each other connect on a deeper emotional level, as this vulnerability fosters trust and intimacy.
But vulnerability works both ways. Along with her being open and honest, you will notice this…
6) She really listens to you
According to psychologists, genuine people practice active listening, a communication style that goes beyond hearing words.
When someone actively listens to you, they understand the emotions and intentions behind your words.
How can you recognize this trait?
A genuine woman will make you feel valued and respected by giving you their full attention when you speak.
She won’t hesitate to put down her phone or pause what she’s doing to listen to you.
She will also exude empathy as you talk, responding thoughtfully to what you share.
And as research shows, active listening activates the brain’s reward system, eliciting positive feelings.
So, if you feel comforted and content after sharing your thoughts and concerns with your woman, she is incredibly genuine.
7) She is reflective
Beyond how they communicate and treat others, genuine women value reflection and personal growth.
They regularly assess their actions and decisions, seeking ways to improve and align more closely with their true selves.
Psychology shows this commitment to self-improvement is driven by an intrinsic desire to live authentically.
For example, a 2015 study published in ‘Personality and Individual Differences’ found that regular self-reflection enables you to remain connected to your values and make choices that are true to you.
Considering this, a genuine woman constantly learns from her experiences to become a better version of herself.
But this doesn’t mean she sees herself as better than anyone. Quite the contrary, which is why if your woman is genuine, you’ll notice the following sign…
8) She never judges you (or others)
A genuine woman doesn’t just seek to live authentically herself, but she encourages authenticity in others.
She is also highly empathetic and respectful.
Rather than judging people for thinking or acting differently to her, she values diverse perspectives and beliefs.
As psychologist Guy Winch explains, authentic people are less likely to be judgmental and more likely to appreciate the uniqueness of others.
So if you disagree with her, she won’t try to shut you down or lecture you on how you are wrong.
Instead, she will listen attentively and hear you out.
This respect for others’ authenticity is a sign of a woman’s secure sense of self, which, as previously mentioned, is an integral part of ‘being yourself.’
But don’t mistake this trait for being a pushover or easily swayed.
Although she will consider other perspectives, she will always loudly and proudly stand up for her beliefs…
9) She speaks her mind
In her book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown writes about the relationship between courage and authenticity.
She says, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage,” and that “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
Genuine women are unafraid to be heard or seen, even if their views and beliefs go against societal expectations.
Not only will a genuine woman not conform to what others expect from her, but she won’t be silent on her beliefs.
She is not afraid to advocate for what she believes in, regardless of the reception or pushback she receives from others.
In my opinion, this is one of the most magnificent things about an authentic woman!
Final thoughts
Whether you’ve just met a potential new partner or have been dating a woman for a while, you will likely wonder if the image she’s portraying is genuine.
So, to differentiate authenticity from pretense, look for these nine signs.
If the woman in your life is consistent, open, and not afraid to be vulnerable, chances are you’ve got yourself an incredibly genuine woman!
