Psst. Come closer. I’ve got something to tell you.
Okay, ready?
You might be smarter than you realize.
No, really!
We all tend to think of intelligence as the ability to solve complex math equations or read a hundred books per year, but the truth is that intelligence comes in many shapes and forms.
Some people are street smart, others are book smart, and others yet have high emotional intelligence (EQ). The list could go on and on.
Want to see if you’re cleverer than you give yourself credit for?
Here are the 7 subtle behaviors that signal high intelligence.
1) You’re deeply curious about the world around you
Recently, I’ve been learning to drive a car. I’m a bit of a difficult pupil because I have a tendency to overthink, and what’s more, a simple explanation isn’t good enough for me.
If I’m going to switch gears, I need to know what happens on a mechanical level inside the car. If I fiddle with the clutch, I want to understand how exactly I’m connecting and disconnecting the car from the engine.
I’ve always had this problem. I want to understand how things work in as much detail as possible, driving me to ask “why” questions until my teachers sigh in resignation, rubbing their foreheads in dismay.
Fortunately for me – and perhaps for you, too – curiosity is a huge sign of high intelligence because it’s precisely what makes you ask questions, learn more, develop your skills, and increase your knowledge.
Not only that but curiosity also plays a key role in our well-being, and the happier and more satisfied with your life you are, the more likely you are to take an interest in things that go beyond mere survival.
As experts Raquel Tatar Ph.D., Tammi Kral, Ph.D., and Caitlin Roa Ph.D. write in Psychology Today, “The trait of curiosity is not just reserved for children—psychologists and neuroscientists from around the world have found that curiosity is a driving force for exploration and critical for healthy development and learning.”
They continue, “Practicing curiosity is associated with enhanced psychological well-being, grit, subjective happiness, and meaning in life, as well as lower rates of depression and fewer negative emotions.”
2) You possess a healthy amount of scepticism
Another reason all those “why” questions probably serve you well is that you remain sceptical in situations where a little bit of scepticism is called for.
Imagine someone’s presenting you with certain facts they’ve researched online. You haven’t really done your own research on the issue just yet, but why should you accept everything they say just because they seemingly know more?
What if they got the stats wrong? What if they misremember? What if they’re picking a certain angle that suits them while dismissing all possible counterarguments?
An intelligent person will do their own research. They’ll use their own critical thinking to form a solid opinion on the matter.
As education expert Alfie Kohn says, “A true sceptic is ‘critical’ in both senses of that word—willing to challenge what is widely believed rather than taking it on faith, but also committed to relying on careful analysis.”
3) You’re highly aware of your strengths and weaknesses
Alright, moving on to a sign that’s grounded in emotional intelligence more so than logic or creativity!
Here’s the thing.
EQ is much more important than IQ.
Don’t believe me?
Ask researchers. According to them, your success in life or at work depends 80% on EQ and 20% on IQ.
In other words, it is much more important for you to know how to keep your cool, remain self-aware, and navigate the social world with ease than to understand the theory of relativity.
And a huge part of that is self-awareness when it comes to your strengths and weaknesses.
I’m not talking just about skills here. I’m talking about those personality traits that make your life harder than it needs to be, areas where you could work on yourself a little bit, and hidden parts of your psyche that lead you to self-sabotage your own happiness.
It’s all about deep introspection.
If you feel like you know yourself very well because you refuse to live in denial and always face the truth about yourself, no matter how uncomfortable…
It’s the third sign you might be very intelligent.
4) You can name, process, and let go of your emotions
Another important pillar of emotional intelligence is emotional self-regulation, aka, the ability to keep your wits about you when you’re growing more and more frustrated.
Look, I get it. We all get mad sometimes, especially if you’ve had a really bad day, and it only keeps getting worse.
But someone who’s highly intelligent in the ways that matter most will try their best not to take their anger out on others.
Instead, they will deal with their feelings like an adult – they’ll name what it is they’re feeling, accept it rather than deny it, and find a healthy outlet for this mix of emotions, be it a little bit of crying in the bathroom, a jog to help you release your anger, or an excited dance to let go of the pent up energy.
Ironically, it is through the act of accepting your emotions and letting them pass through you that you become able to release them completely and move on.
Feelings are like clouds. They eventually pass you by.
Your job is not to let them control you.
5) You can empathize with others but also set strong boundaries
Care to guess what the third factor of EQ is?
Empathy.
Hold your horses, though. While it’s all good and well to empathize with other people, even empathy can get out of hand.
Trust me. I say this as a recovered people-pleaser. It’s no fun to let everyone’s feelings impact your own well-being, suppress your needs just to avoid conflict, and try to be as “easy-going” as possible.
The intelligent thing to do is to find the middle ground – a point from which you can hold space for other people’s feelings without compromising your own, a mindset rooted in strong boundaries guided by love and compassion.
It is wholly possible to feel for another person and still understand that you do not carry any responsibility for their emotional state of mind.
Sometimes, you simply have to prioritize yourself.
And if you’re already in the habit of doing that…
Bingo!
That’s another sign ticked off our list.
6) You constantly daydream and overthink
High intelligence isn’t just rainbows and unicorns. It comes with its cons, namely the fact that intelligent people are much more prone to excessive worrying and anxiety than the average person.
This is probably due to all those thoughts swirling in your head on a daily basis.
If you’re a deep thinker, you’re obviously going to put a lot of thought into everything you do, which means that there’s a higher chance you’ll go down an obsessive rabbit hole or think of every possible issue that could potentially go wrong.
On a positive note, though, you may also be a huge daydreamer, which is pretty fun!
…unless you get stuck in an imaginary scenario where horrible things happen, and half an hour later, you realize you’ve just been staring at the wall and crying.
Yep.
Been there, done that.
7) You talk to yourself a lot
I’ve got some great news.
If you talk to yourself, you’re not crazy.
Yay!
In fact, research shows that talking to yourself has plenty of cognitive benefits, so don’t beat yourself up if you chat with yourself in the shower or while you’re solo hiking through the countryside.
I’m somewhat of a master at this peculiar skill. If you heard me on one of my hikes, you’d probably think I’m a bit nuts.
But you’d be wrong. Apparently, I’m just a smart cookie.
So, if this sounds like you…
Welcome to the club!
