Love doesn’t always last forever.
Some love does, of course. But some relationships are only designed to teach us something before their ultimate end.
When you start doubting your relationship, this normally means that something’s up. Although it can be hard to put your finger on what’s causing the problem.
From my experience, I’ve found it’s the subtle behaviors in your partner (or changes to them) that make you start to question things.
The following are the most telling behaviors that they aren’t your forever person…
1) They don’t appreciate your quirks
We all have little quirks. Random things we do that no one else does.
You might collect something odd every time you go on vacation. You might really love watching Disney movies when you’re ill. Or you might have little things you do in everyday life, like say “mmm” after every bite of food.
When you’ve found your soulmate, they’ll love you for all your quirks. They’ll notice them, laugh about them, and love you wholeheartedly for every single one of them!
But when you haven’t met the one yet, they probably won’t do this.
They won’t get your quirks. They’ll roll their eyes when you do certain things. They might even get annoyed at you when you’re just being yourself…
The sad truth is that this is a pretty clear warning sign that they aren’t your person.
2) They get embarrassed by you
This one is just the worst! I think there’s nothing crueler than having someone be embarrassed by you when you’re just being yourself. And it’s not a joke, either.
It’s especially bad when it’s your boyfriend or girlfriend who’s embarrassed!
When the person you’re dating shows signs of embarrassment, it means one thing. They probably aren’t your forever person.
Because when you truly love someone, you love all of them.
You love it when they’re being themselves. You love the way they look all the time. You love the clothes they wear and the things they’re passionate about. You even love their quirks, like we mentioned earlier!
But when you don’t love someone in this way, how they look and act might be embarrassing to you. So if your partner gets embarrassed by you, alarm bells should be ringing…
3) They talk over you in a crowd
The right person will love hearing you talk and letting you have your time!
But when you’re not with the right person, they won’t be so thrilled every time you speak. It’ll be subtle, but you might start to notice their unloving behavior whenever you speak in a crowd.
In a group of friends, they won’t sit back and admire you as you tell a story. They’ll interject, talk over you, shut you down, or interrupt you mid-flow. They might even laugh at you or mock you for the things you say.
When you’re out with their family, they’ll talk about things you can’t get involved in and don’t encourage you to get a word in edgeways.
Sometimes when you’re talking in a group, you’ll just get the feeling that they’re either zoning out, bored, or silently judging you for everything you’re saying.
Whenever they do it, it won’t feel good. And sadly, this is the behavior of someone who isn’t right for you.
4) They don’t let you shine
Ever heard someone break up with someone and say they’ve got their spark back? Well, that’s what happens when you’ve been in a relationship with someone who isn’t your forever person!
It might not be intentional on their behalf. Or it might be if they’re that kind of person…
Either way, when someone isn’t truly right for you, they won’t let you shine.
They won’t support you when you want to start a new hobby or career that interests you. They won’t lift you up on days you’re feeling down. They won’t even encourage you to have fun with your friends after working all week!
In extreme cases, they might even despise it when you’re having a good time or doing something you’re proud of! They might try to purposefully put you down with subtle backhanded compliments or well-timed arguments.
Whatever it is they do, you won’t really feel like you’re shining – or being allowed/encouraged to shine. And it’s a pretty clear sign this person isn’t the one for you.
5) They avoid eye contact
Some people are just a little bad at eye contact. But when you’re in love, holding someone’s eye is an important thing.
Studies show that eye contact boosts feelings of connection, intimacy, love, and togetherness. It also shows that you’re listening deeply to the other person.
Couples who make eye contact are more likely to have a stronger, more intimate relationship. They’re also more likely to withstand the test of time.
But if your partner avoids eye contact with you, always looking elsewhere when you’re talking, glancing behind you on dinner dates, and averting their gaze during intimate moments, this isn’t a good sign.
In fact, it’s a subtle behavior of a person who isn’t your forever person.
6) They don’t plan things with you
There’s a huge difference between being head over heels in love with someone and being “comfortable”.
When you’re comfortable with someone, you don’t tend to plan for the future. You don’t make a big effort with the other person or do things to keep the spark alive.
You just exist together and go through the motions of being in a relationship, rather than truly experience (and enjoy!) it.
This behavior is a common sign that you haven’t found your forever person. And as harsh as it sounds, it’s likely that you or they are settling.
7) They don’t ask about you or your life
It might sound strange to say that your partner doesn’t ask about you or your life. You might think to yourself, “How could I date someone who didn’t ask about me?”.
But when you’re not with the right person, they won’t really ask about you in much depth at all. It’s a subtle behavior, but once you start noticing it, you won’t be able to stop!
They won’t ask you about your career plans or personal goals. They won’t challenge you, support you, or truly listen to you. They won’t even find you very interesting as a person!
When you’ve dated someone for a long time, you might start to feel like you know all of them and there’s nothing else to learn. At least, that’s how you’ll feel when they’re not your forever person.
Because people change all the time. They are always having new thoughts and experiences. And when you find your forever person, you’ll realize this and you’ll always find them interesting.
But when you’re just going through the motions of dating someone, you won’t.
So if your partner doesn’t find your life that interesting, regardless of whether you’ve been together five months or five years, something might not be quite right.
Realizing your partner isn’t your forever person can make you feel one of two things: devastated or relieved.
If it’s the former, there might still be something there with the person you’re dating. Or you might still care about them deeply, just in a different way than how you would if you truly loved them.
When it’s the latter and you feel relieved, I think you already know what this means.
This person definitely isn’t your forever person. And maybe this is just the sign you’ve been looking for to (respectfully) call it quits!
Only you know what’s right for you.
But if there’s one thing I know it’s that there is better out there. And life is too short to settle for a relationship you’re not truly happy in or see lasting forever!