Everyone wants to work with colleagues they get along with, but what happens when you find yourself developing feelings for a colleague or the other way around?
If they are someone you work closely with, it could lead to awkwardness and tension. Being attracted to a colleague can be tricky if you don’t want things to become complicated and take their toll on the quality of your work.
But how can you tell if they have an unspoken attraction to you? Here are 9 subconscious signs your coworker is attracted to you:
1) You can clearly see their pupils dilate
Do you know what happens when a person likes someone and they make visual contact with them?
Their pupils start to dilate. This is a subconscious act that isn’t under the person’s control.
When your eyes meet with your coworker’s eyes, you can always tell if they have an attraction for you by checking whether or not their pupils have become dilated.
Fair warning: if they have dark eyes, you’ll need to get close to them to see their pupils or go look at them in natural light.
Now, it’s true that our pupils dilate because of other reasons too, such as when we see a bright light, use various substances, and so on.
However, if you notice this happening while you’re having a chat with them, it can be a sign they have thoughts of attraction towards you.
If you want to be sure, then check their pupils more than once.
2) Their feet point to you when you’re standing next to each other
Here’s another subconscious sign your coworker is attracted to you: they point their feet towards you when they’re standing next to you.
There’s actually a psychological explanation for why we do this.
Although your coworker is not aware of it, they do this subconsciously because they like you. They’re subconsciously trying to feel closer to you and make sure you don’t get away.
They want to offer you their undivided attention so that they can learn more about you and keep you in their lives.
Please note that this works the same way for both men and women.
So, take a look at both your feet and their feet next time you talk. Who knows, maybe you like them too – but you don’t know it yet, either.
3) Your coworker touches you more than usual
If your coworker is attracted to you, they will unconsciously start touching you more.
For instance, they may touch you on the arm or shoulder sometimes when they let you know that they agree with something you said.
Another indication is when someone touches your hair or face, as it can be a sign of attraction for some people.
If it happens more than once, pay attention because this may be a big sign that your coworker is attracted to you.
A touch is a form of affection, and if someone touches you a lot, it can be an indication that they are into you.
This is especially true if this person is your coworker and they’re not supposed to touch you at all – unless your work implies it.
4) They’re always smiling when they look at you
Another subconscious sign your coworker is attracted to you is that they smile a lot when they look at you.
When people like or love someone, they tend to smile when they see them because of their positive feelings towards this person.
A smile also makes them appear more attractive, as our brain associates it with a pleasant experience.
On top of that, it’s a subtle way for people to let us know they’re attracted to us, as smiling conveys emotion and feelings.
When a person smiles at you, it can trigger feelings of attraction in you as well. Why?
Because they are subconsciously trying to make you feel good, as smiling is a way of being friendly.
5) Your coworker mimics everything you do
If your coworker is attracted to you, they will subconsciously mimic everything you do.
We tend to do this when we like someone because it makes us feel closer to them and enriches our relationship.
This can be a very strong sign that the person has an attraction to you. You will notice this by observing the way they move, and the way they talk or act around you.
To be more precise, you might notice that they imitate the way you walk, your gestures, or the way you talk when they are talking to you.
Other examples are when they copy your posture, language, mannerisms, or tics.
Also, be careful not to fall into their trap as it could be a sign of attraction!
6) They speak highly of you
Here’s another subtle way your coworker may have an attraction to you: they speak highly of you.
If your coworker suddenly starts to praise you to others and sounds really genuine when they do it, this could be a sign that they like you.
If they’re usually more reserved about your work, but now they’re talking about how great you are as a person, it could be a subconscious way for them to show interest.
Maybe you heard them talking about you to other coworkers, or it may have happened so subtly that you weren’t sure what was going on.
Either way, unless your coworker has some hidden motive, they might just be sincere.
7) They remember things about you
If your coworker subconsciously has an attraction to you, they will remember all the things you do or say better than other people.
They will remember your birthday or your significant events, or what you said to them during a certain conversation, meeting, and so on.
Someone who really doesn’t care about you won’t remember these things as they are not important to them.
A person who has an attraction to you may start paying more attention to you and asking you questions about things you mentioned in the past. These are also called follow-up questions and they’re usually a sign of interest.
Also, they will tend to remember you easier in other aspects, such as the way you look or what you are wearing.
These details indicate that your coworker is attracted to you.
8) Your coworker makes prolonged eye contact with you
Another sign your coworker may have an attraction to you is that they make prolonged eye contact with you.
Why is that?
Well, people who are attracted to someone tend to look at them in a more intense way. Their gaze is more open and direct.
This doesn’t mean your coworker will stare at you, but you should notice that they make eye contact for a longer period of time than usual – or more compared to your other coworkers.
Usually, people who are not attracted to us look away quite quickly after we meet their eyes.
If someone is attracted to us, however, they will keep looking at us without looking away until we look away first.
This simple rule applies to most people.
9) Their tone of voice gives them away
Want to know another subconscious sign your coworker might be attracted to you? Their tone of voice gives them away.
If they sound excited or interested when they talk to you, this could be a sign that they feel something towards you.
A soft and calm tone of voice can sometimes be a sign of interest or attraction, depending on the person and the situation.
What’s more, when someone is interested in you, they tend to speak in a more relaxed and casual tone of voice.
Because they feel comfortable and confident around you, they feel free to let their guard down and speak more casually.
Is attraction conscious or subconscious?
Attraction can be both conscious and subconscious.
Although we tend to think of attraction as a conscious decision based on our preferences, that’s not completely true.
For example, a person can be very attracted to you without realizing it consciously.
Well, attraction is something that happens inside you, and we cannot control the reason why we do it.
In other words, attraction can be due to physical or emotional feelings and not only to conscious decisions. If someone doesn’t realize they’re attracted to you, they won’t tell you about it.
What’s more, attraction can be a subconscious reaction to certain traits or behaviors.
For example, we can be attracted to someone because they have a certain personality trait or characteristic that we like.
The unconscious mind is almost always at work when it comes to attraction.
However, there are also situations when you see someone and you consciously realize that you’re attracted to them for obvious reasons.
If you’re attracted to someone and you decide to go out with them, it’s a conscious decision.
In addition, there are also different types of attraction. There are tendencies that come from a deeper subconscious level and others that come from the conscious level.
Types of attraction:
Sexual attraction – it’s the feeling that leads us to be attracted to someone sexually.
In case your coworker is sexually attracted to you, they might subconsciously try to reduce the distance between you and them.
They might, for example, try to touch you expressively more often than usual, or come closer to you.
Emotional attraction – it’s the feeling that leads us to want to get to know someone better or feel a certain bond with them.
For example, we might feel emotionally attracted to someone because they have a similar personality type as us.
In other words, the unconscious mind may be assessing whether a person’s personality traits are similar to our own. If so, this can lead us to feel emotionally attracted to them.
Intellectual attraction – it’s the feeling that leads us to want to know more about someone or learn from them.
For example, we might be interested in talking with a coworker about their views on politics or philosophy.
We might also be attracted to someone who is intelligent or has a high level of education and knowledge.
Romantic attraction – it’s the feeling that leads us to feel romantic feelings for someone.
In case your coworker has a romantic attraction toward you, their behavior might change in an obvious way.
They might, for example, try more romantic acts, like touching or hugging you more often than usual. Their tone of voice might change, and so might their language.
Can flirting be subconscious?
Simply put, yes. It can be!
Flirting can be subconscious, which means you may flirt with someone by doing things that are completely unintentional.
This happens when someone likes you but doesn’t realize it consciously. It’s a way for them to act on their attraction without being aware of it.
For example, flirting can be a way to get your attention and make you notice them, or to make you feel special with compliments or sweet gestures.
5 subconscious signs you are attracted to your coworker
Did you stop for a second to wonder why you’re so interested in your coworker’s attraction to you?
Consider this: You are also subconsciously attracted to them!
Here are some signs:
1) You notice them looking at you because you also look at them
This is a big one!
If you notice your coworker looking at you or paying attention to you, this means you’re also looking at them and paying attention to them.
It’s a sign you feel attracted to them!
The probability is high that your coworker also notices you looking at him or her.
This connection between you and the other person is a sign of attraction.
2) You catch yourself thinking about them
If you catch yourself thinking about your coworker more than usual, it could be a sign of attraction.
The reason you’re thinking about them more than usual might be because you are subconsciously attracted to them.
As I mentioned before, you’re attracted to someone when your unconscious mind perceives these qualities:
- Personality traits that resemble yours;
- A similarity in interests, behaviors, and views ;
- Physical characteristics that you find appealing.
Once these thoughts come up, you may become more curious about the person. You may start thinking about them and how they are like you or what they have in common with you.
3) You notice physical changes in your behavior
You might have an urge to be around your coworker more, or you may feel the need to continue talking with them. This can happen during your lunch breaks or whenever you two talk.
In case your coworker is attracted to you as well, they may also feel the need to engage with you more.
They might feel that special connection that makes them want to be around you longer than usual.
4) You notice the sound of their voice or a certain smell
Have you ever noticed that you like the way someone’s voice sounds or how they smell? When we are attracted to someone, we tend to notice these things.
For example, if you’re attracted to your coworker, the way they laugh, speak, and even smell might feel more attractive than usual.
5) You are jealous of others
Jealousy is a sign of attraction. You may become jealous of others, feeling that they get more attention from your coworker than you.
Jealousy is a good sign that you want to be around this person.
When you feel jealous, it could be a reaction to the fact that your coworker spends time with other people instead of you.
Is your coworker subconsciously attracted to you? The signs in this article should have provided a good indication.
Are you also consciously or subconsciously attracted to them?
Depending on your answer, there are different steps you can take. Either way, attraction is a wonderful thing, so enjoy it!