10 reasons to stop trying to be a good person

Want to make it on your own? You should.

Want to stop caring about what other people think of you? You should.

Want to stop believing in some higher power that’s going to come and rescue you? You should.

These are the top 10 reasons why it’s time for you to stop trying so hard at being a good person — and yet still getting nowhere in life.

1. Other people are defining what “good” means in your life

If you’re doing something because somebody else told you it’s good for you — even if that somebody happens to be yourself — then you’re not fulfilling your own potential.

You’re only focusing on one metric to measure how “good” a person you are: other people’s opinion of you.

2. The definition of “good” shifts depending on the situation

If you’re getting good grades in school, but you school is making you miserable, then you might define “good” as someone who does well in school even though it’s not making you a happy person.

If you’re spending time with your friends, but your parents need your help, then you’re being a “good” person to your friends but not to your parents.

The definition of “good” changes depending on the situation, so trying to be “good” may be appropriate in some circumstances but not in others.

3. What’s considered good changes depending on who’s judging you

Depending on whom you’re trying to please, there will be different definitions of what it means to be a good person.

Some people will say you’re too nice and some people will say you’re not nice enough.

Some people are looking for someone rich while others are looking for someone reliable.

4. People can manipulate you by telling you what it means to be a good person

There’s a great video by Ideapod’s co-founder Justin Brown explaining why he’s giving up on being a good person.

In the video Justin says he’s experienced people in business who try to manipulate others by getting them to conform to behaving in a “good way”. The problem is that it’s often the more powerful person in a relationship who defines what good actually means.

If you’re not careful, you can easily end up being manipulated to serve some kind of vision of being “good”, without really doing what’s right for you.

Check out the video below.

5. You’re not in control of how good you are

Nobody is in charge of our happiness. Nobody can be completely sure of how their life is going to turn out.

Everyone has the potential to do great things, and everyone has the potential to fail.

If you’re all about being a “good person”, then you might be missing out on some great opportunities, and you might be neglecting some of your own needs in order to serve other people’s expectations.

6. You don’t need other people’s approval to live your own life

You are free to live your own life. You don’t need approval from other people to do it.

The only way you’re going to have a good life is by doing things that make you happy. Whether or not they please other people is irrelevant.

After watching Justin Brown’s video on giving up on being a good person, I decided to check out his masterclass on why he’s decided to stop trying to improve his life.

He shares some interesting ideas he learned from a shaman in Brazil about different ways to discover your purpose in life.

It’s all about giving up on being programmed by society and other people’s expectations to drill deeper and figure out what really makes you tick.

Watch Justin Brown’s free masterclass here.

7. You might be missing out on opportunities to be a good person

There are some things worth doing that don’t fit into the society-approved “good person” mold.

What if you decide to try something you know will probably get you in trouble just because it makes you really happy?

Is that really a bad thing? Of course not. People shouldn’t have to be the same way all the time. That’s what makes life so interesting, right?

8. You might be neglecting your own happiness

You don’t have to be a “good person” to live a happy life.

If you really want to feel positive about yourself, then focus on doing things that make you happy and giving energy to people who make you smile.

And if other people are going to say that’s not a “good person”, then don’t worry about it. Just keep doing the things that make you really, really happy. You’ve got this!

9. You might be missing out on opportunities that do have to do with being a good person

Some people spend their whole lives chasing the approval of other people.

They’re focused on being well-liked or invited to the right parties. It doesn’t matter if they don’t like the things they’re doing, as long as they’re getting some kind of approval from another person or group of people.

Other people lose years of their life because they can’t get over small bumps in the road and stop taking things personally.

If you’re all about being “good” you might be missing out on opportunities to spend time with people who would make your life better.

10. You’re wasting valuable time

Some people spend their whole lives trying to be “good.” They’re always striving to do a little better or conform to some other person’s expectations.

Time is a precious resource that can’t be wasted. Your life is limited. You don’t have forever to make everyone else happy and do what they want you to do.

If you really want to become a “good person”, then focus on being the best you can be and make other people happy on top of it.

How to live a purposeful life (without worrying so much what people think)

Giving up on being a good person isn’t about trying to be bad.

It’s about giving up on living your life based on the expectations of others.

People are nice because they want something from you. They’re nice to make themselves feel better.

It’s more about the things you can get out of being around people than it is about being a “good person.”

So what should you do instead?

Do whatever makes you really happy and give energy to people who make your life better.

Try not to let other people or society define what a “good person” is for you.

Figure out what your purpose in life really is and build your reality around it, even if it means pissing a few people off along the way.

If you want help in figuring out what your purpose in life is, check out Justin Brown’s new masterclass video. It’s free and shares a lot of new ideas in finding purpose and living a life free from the expectations of others.

Watch the free masterclass here.

Picture of Clifton Kopp

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Ideapod! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.