If you want really want to change your life, stop doing these 10 things

Many of us realize at some point that we want to change our lives.

It can happen to anyone, especially those stuck in a rut, unhappy with their career, or facing a major setback in life.

And if this is the life you’ve lived for a long time, I know you may be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about starting again.

Whether you’re sure about wanting to change your life or not, trying won’t do you any harm.

You can always start by realizing the things you should stop doing to invite positive change in your life, like:

1) Getting Caught Up in the Things You Can’t Change

Many of us may not realize this yet, but sometimes, holding on to the past and dwelling on what-ifs keep us from changing our lives for the better.

I used to get frustrated over the belief that my life seemed from how I planned it.

Because of this, I looked back and blamed myself for all my past decisions.

And because of this, I developed a spiteful and pessimistic mindset.

I realized my life wouldn’t change if I continued to sulk about the past.

After all, it’s already been done, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

More than this, dwelling on the things you can’t change or control won’t do anything to change your life.

Instead of beating yourself up because of the past, learning and moving on will help you get wiser in dealing with the actual things in front of you.

If you’re in the same situation, this might just be your sign to forgive yourself and focus on the present.

2) Minding What Others Think About You

I know anyone can quickly get anxious or even paranoid about what others think about them, especially when they’re painted as someone they’re not.

We become afraid of becoming an outcast once people avoid or reject us because of these things.

I needed some time to realize this, but your life won’t change if you continue to live by others’ terms or with fear of what others think about you.

I realized that with the brave decision to change your life also comes the courage to live on your own terms, not getting fazed easily by others. 

After all, it’s your life, and they won’t be the ones to face the consequences of your actions.

If you really want to change your life for the better, you might want to focus on your passion or what your heart really tells you.

People who truly love you might not always understand you, but they will respect your decisions and support you.

3) Not Following What Your Heart Tells You

I’ve mentioned earlier that you should follow what your heart tells you and live on your own terms if you want to change your life.

I noticed that most of the people I know who have followed what their heart truly tells them have little to no regrets at all, even if it didn’t turn out well.

They’re already content that they did their best and pursued their passion.

I think life is too short not to pursue your passion.

You may be successful in your current career, but that doesn’t always mean you’ll live a meaningful life, especially if it doesn’t make you feel fulfilled.

Or maybe what drives you to change your current situation is the tiny voice inside you, reminding you what you want to do.

You’re never too late to start rekindling your passion.

4) Comparing Yourself to Others

Life isn’t a race. If you really want to change your life for the better, you should stop comparing yourself.

Doing this shifts your focus from working on yourself to seeking in others what you lack.

And you’ll soon be consumed by envy, resentment, and self-doubt as you look at others and wonder why they achieve things you can’t.

You start questioning your self-worth and wrongfully think you don’t deserve all the best things in life.

I used to compare myself to others, one of them my own friends.

During our university days, she was the happy-go-lucky type – she skipped classes and barely graduated.

She became successful in her career. I was happy for her, but at the same time, I also couldn’t help but compare myself – I worked very hard, but why wasn’t I as successful as her?

Despite feeling guilty about it, I thought I deserved it more than her. I then doubted my self-worth and believed I wasn’t cut out for anything.

Because of these spiteful thoughts, I became desperate to change my life. I realized I should start by not comparing myself to others.

It was an agonizing place to be in because not only did I betray my friend, but I also betrayed myself.

5) Staying Within Your Comfort Zone for Way Too Long

I think the most dangerous situations are those that seemed harmless and beneficial at first.

And the next thing you know, they’re no longer healthy for you, and leaving isn’t always easy.

If you stay within your comfort zone for a long time, you won’t feel the thrill of being challenged and growing anymore.

Soon, you’ll realize you’ve gotten used to a dull life that kills the fire in you.

That’s why if you really want to change your life, you should stop allowing your fears and self-doubt to get the best of you.

Don’t be afraid to grab opportunities, especially when you’ve already consulted your loved ones about it. Make big decisions that are scary but will make your heart flutter.

6) Allowing Intrusive Thoughts to Stop You From Pursuing Your Passion

We may not know it yet, but the only person who stands in the way of changing our lives is ourselves.

Sometimes, we are our harshest critics because of our high expectations and fear of failure.

I understand that making mistakes and failure aren’t things you can easily brush off, but they’re still necessary parts of life and growth.

If you really want to change your life, you should muster up the courage, set aside intrusive thoughts, and just go after what your heart tells you.

Self-doubt and insecurity can be crippling sometimes, but you’ll never know the amazing things you can do if you don’t try. I know it’s not easy to set aside intrusive thoughts.

That’s why you need a strong support system and develop a better relationship with yourself by seeking all the help you can get.

7) Giving Up Way Too Easily

Maybe you’ve mustered the courage and dared to do something for the first time. And despite doing your best, you still failed.

I understand that giving up to ease the pain and save yourself from further disappointment can be the easy way to preserve yourself.

But losing your heart way too quickly is one of the things you should stop doing if you want to change your life for the better.

The truth is that you’ll face countless bumps along the way before becoming successful, especially if you’re doing something for the first time.

I know it’s easier said than done, but change is always uncomfortable at first.

That’s why when you’ve failed at something, just remember all the reasons why you’re doing what you do and try again.

8) Taking Relationships for Granted

Change isn’t for the faint of heart – that’s why you’ll need all the help you can get.

I know not many of us enjoy being with a lot of people or are comfortable about opening up to others.

But the truth is that every person needs others to confide, share interests, or celebrate victories with.

I wasn’t the type of person to lean on others for support, too, and that made me feel lonelier and the load heavier.

As you grow older, you soon realize that you also shouldn’t forget to nurture healthy relationships around you.

That’s why if you have a habit of taking relationships for granted, you might want to stop it now to elevate your life.

I think about this whenever I look back and remember all the good people I’d hurt, disappointed, and neglected.

I realized how important it is to nurture relationships with love, kindness, and patience.

These people used to be my strong confidantes, but we’re strangers to each other now.

And I don’t blame them because of the bad things I’ve said and done.

If you act out of anger, you’ll say or do awful things you don’t mean.

One day when all your emotions have simmered down, you’ll just remember all the good times and regret you’ve hurt them.

9) Being So Hard On Yourself

I’ve mentioned earlier that sometimes, we’re our own toughest critics.

This has to change, and you need to stop being too hard on yourself if you really want to improve your life.

Life can be cruel the same way it can be beautiful, so you must have someone you trust and rely on throughout your journey – yourself.

If you really want to change your life, you should start with yourself.

You might want to develop a healthier relationship with yourself by learning how to forgive yourself and be kinder.

Instead of beating yourself up, simply focus on the lessons and achievements for the day, no matter how small you think they are.

Work on your self-awareness to reflect on the things you can improve on, and believe in yourself.

10) Failing to Learn from Your Mistakes

I also mentioned earlier that you’ll make mistakes and encounter setbacks along the way.

I know this can make anyone lose their heart and give up.

We sometimes believe these are testaments to how awful we are and how we’re not worth all the good things in life, leaving us crippled with despair and self-doubt.

But it’s important to realize that if you want to change your life, you should start shifting your perspective on setbacks and errors.

Nobody’s perfect, so everyone makes mistakes, especially when we’re all a work in progress.

We don’t experience them to beat us up – we face these challenges to learn and grow as better people.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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