As a 37-year-old woman, I have had my fair share of experiences as the “almost girlfriend.” Time and time again, I found myself in a situation where I was giving my all to a relationship, only to be left with uncertainty and confusion. My story, along with countless others, highlights the importance of women standing up for their own self-worth and demanding commitment and certainty in their relationships.
Let me take you back to my early twenties. I had just started my career and was eagerly trying to navigate the world of adulthood. In the midst of this, I met *Tom. Tom was charming, successful, and seemingly everything I could ask for in a partner. We quickly became inseparable, and I felt as though I had finally found the man of my dreams.
However, as time went on, I noticed that Tom would become distant without warning. He would leave me hanging for days, cancel plans last minute, and never fully commit to the idea of being in an exclusive relationship. I was left in a constant state of limbo, unsure of where I stood or what the future held for us.
Fast forward to my early thirties, and I found myself in a strikingly similar situation with *Mark. Mark was kind, attentive, and shared many of my interests. We seemed to be on the same page, and I was hopeful that this time things would be different. But as our relationship progressed, the same patterns began to emerge. Mark would avoid discussing our future together, and I was once again left feeling like the “almost girlfriend.”
It was then that I realized I had fallen into a pattern of being the “almost girlfriend.” In each of these relationships, I had allowed the men to dictate the terms and conditions, leaving me with little control or power over my own romantic life. I had been waiting for them to make me their “girlfriend” while giving them all the power to decide the course of the relationship.
What I needed to do was to take control and set the standards and boundaries in my relationships. It was time for me to demand the commitment and certainty I deserved.
So, what can we do about it? How can we, as women, take control of our own romantic lives and demand the commitment and certainty we deserve?
- Set clear standards and boundaries: It’s essential to establish clear standards and boundaries early on in a relationship. Be upfront about your expectations and what you are looking for in a partner. If you desire a committed, monogamous relationship, make that known from the start. By setting clear standards and boundaries, you are taking control of your romantic life and sending a message to potential partners that you value yourself and your time.
- Communicate openly: Open communication is key to any successful relationship. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel uncertain or insecure, it’s essential to address those feelings with your partner. By having open and honest conversations, you can gain a better understanding of where your partner stands and work together to build a stronger, more stable relationship.
- Prioritize your self-worth: Recognize and embrace your own self-worth. You deserve a relationship that is built on mutual respect and commitment, and you should never settle for less. By prioritizing your self-worth, you will be more likely to attract partners who value and appreciate you for who you are.
- Be willing to walk away: If a relationship is not providing you with the commitment and certainty you desire, it’s important to recognize that you have the power to walk away. It can be difficult to let go of someone you care about, but ultimately, you must prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Walking away from a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs is a form of self-respect and self-care.
- Surround yourself with supportive people: It’s essential to have a strong support network of friends and family who understand your worth and encourage you to prioritize your own happiness. These individuals can offer invaluable advice and perspective, helping you to stay grounded and focused on what truly matters in a relationship.
- Learn from past experiences: Reflect on previous relationships and identify patterns or behaviors that may have contributed to your “almost girlfriend” status. By recognizing these patterns, you can work on breaking the cycle and moving towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
- Trust your intuition: Listen to your gut instincts when it comes to relationships. If something feels off or you sense that your partner is not being genuine about their intentions, trust your intuition and address those concerns. Your intuition can often guide you towards the best course of action and help you avoid potential heartache.
- Embrace self-improvement: Continue to work on yourself and strive for personal growth, both inside and outside of relationships. By becoming the best version of yourself, you will be more likely to attract a partner who shares your values and is committed to building a strong, lasting relationship.
The point is this: as women, we deserve commitment and certainty in our relationships. We must take control of our romantic lives, set clear standards and boundaries, and prioritize our self-worth. By doing so, we can break the cycle of being the “almost girlfriend” and move towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Remember, you are worthy of love and commitment. Don’t settle for anything less than what you truly deserve. By taking control of your romantic life and demanding the commitment and certainty you deserve, you can pave the way for a more satisfying and fulfilling love life.
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