Azra Jovicic
I know it can be a little disheartening when the person you want to be in a relationship with decides they want to hang out less.
Some people might feel that they are not wanted.
This can result in negative emotions like resentment, anger, and bitterness.
Some people say that it is best to back off and give them space, while others believe they should go after them repeatedly until they finally give you the time you deserve.
Here are 10 big tips for staying friends when you want more!
1) Be assured that it’s not you
Most of the time, when someone pulls away, it is not because they want to leave you.
Thinking that there is something wrong with you can only lead to more pain and hurt.
It is important to remind yourself that you are wonderful just the way you are.
It is more often than not because something else happened in their life, and they will let you know what it is when they are ready.
You are now most likely their safety net, or last resort after everyone else has let them down and left them all alone.
If you can just be there for them like a friend would be, then you will probably never lose that friendship.
Some people just need a little time to heal before they can be with someone again, or they might not have found the right person to share their lives with.
This is the part when they will ask you to stay friends because relationships can be challenging, and not everyone is ready for it.
Take it as a sign that this person considers you too valuable to lose you.
This way, you are showing them that you are understanding and will be there to listen to whatever they have going on.
Even if the feelings are not mutual, showing someone that you care can make a huge difference in how they feel about themselves and about you.
2) Do something you enjoy together
This is often what makes relationships complicated.
Most people are looking for someone who will love them as they are, so they don’t have to change in any way: the bad habits or those things that are keeping them from being able to be their best selves.
If you are willing to accept them, even if they don’t change, then it is a good relationship.
The truth is, it won’t be easy to stay friends if there is physical attraction, but it is not impossible either.
The reason so many people get caught up in the flirtation is that they want something from it.
They want someone to like them but are not willing to change in order to make it happen.
It can be really tricky to continue seeing each other while your feelings are strong, but if you truly care about this person, you will make an effort.
If you do care, then you will want to keep their interests in mind.
This is a big test, and when the time comes, they will be impressed that you have made an effort to stay friends.
However, it is important to be clear with yourself that you are not using this situation just to make them believe in changing their mind and show them how wonderful you are.
That could lead to resentment or regret.
3) Deal with the things that bothered you
If there were things about your friend that hurt you and you didn’t like the way they refused to be with you, it is important to clear the air.
If there was something about them that kept you from being able to be in a relationship with them, then now is the time to tell them.
If it seems like it would be too much for them to handle, just let it go and know that if they really liked you before, they will probably like you now because you stood up for yourself.
The good news is that things can sometimes change in your favor.
You never know when your friend will realize that you are actually perfect together.
However, that doesn’t mean that you should wait endlessly for them. Instead, live your life to the fullest and enjoy every minute of it.
If you spend all your time dreaming about what would have been, you will eventually be miserable.
Don’t forget the good things: the great conversations, how they made you feel special, or how they taught you things about yourself.
Try to distract yourself from your feelings, and you might realize that it is easier to overcome them than you once thought.
Turn to other people and go out with your other friends to spend time with them.
This alone can help you feel so much better and make it easier to deal with not seeing someone you cared about 24/7.
Appreciate everything you have been through and look at it as a part of your growth.
Some people come to our lives to teach us lessons we need to be able to move to another stage in life.
Things end so that new ones can come.
Instead of trying to catch the wind, try to stand still. Learn to be happy with yourself.
The right person will come when you are ready to let love into your life.
4) Give them time and space
This is a very important step because if you push them too hard and make them feel uncomfortable, they will most likely push you away to get some distance.
Now is the time for you to really stand up for yourself and give them some space to see what happens when they have it.
If it seems like they are done with you, then let them know that you wish them well and will still be there if they need someone to talk to.
Ultimately, this is your decision and if you can wait for them to heal and be ready to move forward, then do it.
Knowing that you are there for them may actually make them stronger as a person, and when they are ready for a lasting relationship, they will probably come back to you.
You don’t have to chase after a friendship if your presence is enough for the time being.
The secret is that spending time apart will either make your friend’s heart grow fonder or it will be clear that you should go your separate ways.
Either way, you will know where you stand, and there will be no hard feelings.
Don’t forget to enjoy your own life because that is what it is all about – learning, growing, and moving on.
If someone wants to stay friends, this means you both have things to teach each other, and all that matters is that you are willing to take the next step and make it happen.
Even though it may be difficult to make peace with it, it will surely be easier than staying in the dark about the things that are going on between you.
Keeping the distance will be good for you, too, because you will have time to heal and get over the pain.
Trying to make your way back into their heart is a very powerful thing because you have shown them that you really care.
The important part is that you are taking the time to process how things turned out and moving on together, even if it is not with each other.
5) Be there for them
The best way to keep a friendship is to be there for your friend.
If you want to be their support when they need you, do what you can to help them out.
If they are going through something difficult, show them that you care about them by being there for them whenever they need you.
It sounds simple, but it isn’t.
If you feel uncomfortable being close to them and not being able to ignore your feelings, then this may not be the smartest thing to do.
Think about your emotions and the way being close to them affects you.
Suppose you can move on and overcome this bump in the road; that is great.
If you find it too challenging, then be honest and simply protect yourself.
Some friendships will last forever, and there is nothing wrong with that.
However, not everyone thinks that way, and in some cases, they are ready to move on.
If you find yourself in this situation, then this is the perfect opportunity to let them know that you don’t want a friendship anymore.
Being honest with your friend and yourself is the healthiest thing you can do because going against your nature and your feelings can be very harmful.
6) Give them the freedom they deserve
Most people need freedom so they can be happy, and you are not helping if your relationship is all about you and controlling every move that person makes.
You must show them that you will not try to control them or tell them what to do but that you will support their choices and help them in any way you can.
Picture this − you are both happy and satisfied, both in love and in happy relationships.
Yes, you read that right.
By visualizing that you are okay with your friend being in love and happy with someone else will prepare you for the real thing.
The more you can visualize that you are moving on and being okay with it, the better.
Even try to visualize how amazing the new relationship is going.
Sometimes it is easier to be happy for someone if you have dealt with your feelings and moved on from your loss.
If you are still mourning the end of your relationship, then it can be too hard to see them happy with someone else.
Visualization is a powerful tool to use in crisis situations.
It is a great way to prepare your mind for something that is happening or may happen in the future.
In addition, if they are doing something without letting you know, then give them time to come back and let them know how much it bothers you when they do things without telling anyone.
Every friendship has its share of challenging situations, but that doesn’t mean that you have to avoid them.
Instead, stick to your guns and support your friend when things get tough.
When you are there for someone and ready to take a chance with them, they will always come back for more.
They will even seem surprised that you are there for them because they didn’t realize that it was something that you wanted.
7) Don’t try to fix them
Even if you find out that something major is going on with them, it is not your duty to fix their relationship or make things work for them.
They will have a much better chance of being happy when they just try and solve their own problems and deal with their own feelings rather than rely on you.
The solution is to try to make it work for both of you and not try to be available for this person who is too focused on their own feelings.
Basically, you shouldn’t try to make their problems vanish. Instead, you should simply be there for them and support them in any way possible.
Stick to your principles, and don’t let yourself get caught up in the idea that you wanted it to work for them.
Sometimes people need a little push in a particular direction, but it is not something that you can do for them.
Either they will do it on their own if they are ready, or they won’t go anywhere at all!
8) Not everyone will be the person that you expected
No matter how many times someone tells you that they are not relationship material, you must still have faith in your choices.
You might not find the right person, but there is no need to assume that it is your fault.
Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we expect them to, and we have nothing to do with it ourselves, and that is okay.
Sometimes the time is not right.
How? Let me explain.
We need to reach a certain maturity in order to be in a healthy relationship.
Sometimes we are not quite there yet, and that is why we get hurt so easily, or we just can’t find the right person for us.
We need to be able to see what is important and start enjoying life, being passionate about our choices, and listening to our inner self.
That is when we have matured enough to have a healthy relationship with another person, but since not everyone falls in love at the same time, the relationships that seem to work so well for some couples are just not right for others.
Try to find someone who is ready to grow with you, support you and help you on your path of self-discovery.
Be patient that you will be able to find that special someone, but there is no need to rush things.
Everything happens when the timing is right.
9) Not all relationships are meant to last
Just because something doesn’t work out doesn’t mean it is a bad decision to try.
If you really care about this person and value their friendship, then don’t just destroy everything that you have by trying to push them into something that they do not want.
They will get stronger because of the times that you stood up for them when they didn’t want to put any effort into it.
The secret is to try and accept that it just wasn’t meant to be.
You might feel hurt, but this is something that you must know if you are going to move on with your life and move on without holding anything against them.
All relationships fall apart eventually, so if you really want something to work for the long term, then you need to be prepared for anything!
Think of it as a normal part of life.
Everyone wants to believe that they can balance their own career and relationships, but sometimes that is just not the case.
Just because someone isn’t in the same place as you doesn’t mean that you should go about things in a way that makes you both happy.
If it’s not working, then it is time to let things go and move on with your life!
10) Patience is the key
If you are going to be in this friendship, then you need to have some patience.
Can I be totally honest with you?
This won’t be a walk in the park.
It’s going to hurt, but if you want them to be successful in their endeavors and if they are taking their time, then that is just how it will be.
Sometimes, people just need a little time to figure out what they want and when they do, you might be there waiting for them.
If the relationship is still there, then that’s great.
If they don’t want to talk to you at all, then you will just have to move on and be patient with them.
If they don’t love you enough to give you the time that you deserve, then maybe this relationship is not worth fighting for.
This is your life, and it is okay if they do not want anything to do with you at some point.
That also means that you will be respectful of your own feelings too.
You can’t force someone to talk to you or be there for you if they don’t want to.
You are not going to lose anything by waiting and being patient, but also don’t let the time go in vain.
Make sure you are doing everything you can to work on yourself and make this time of yours as useful as possible.
Make sure you are taking care of your life and your needs by figuring out what you need to do.
There is nothing wrong with having a little faith in the situation, but don’t let it get the best of you.
Reaching a happy ending will not happen right away, and if we’re not patient, then we might lose sight of everything that was so important to us before.
Final thoughts
Being in love with your best friend but not having those feelings reciprocated is very unpleasant and painful.
However, if you want to keep this person in your life, you will need to work more on accepting their decisions and be a little less needy.
You will have to choose – either to chase them away or to accept the fact that things don’t always work out the way we want it.
We have to learn how to deal with the loss of a really good friend if they just decide that they are not into you and that their friendship is more important than a romantic relationship.
Also, you may go on to find yourself in another relationship with another person, one who is ready for you and who wants what you want.
It takes time to build trust in a relationship, so try not to give up if it doesn’t work out right away.
Wish them the best always, but be aware that you have to let things go and say goodbye.
This is a very hard thing to do when we are talking about friends, but it is something that must be done at certain times.
You will be okay, even though you might feel unhappy without them in your life.
Hopefully, these tips will help you make the most of the situation and help you find yourself again, even if it is hard to do.
Eventually, you will be able to build your life up again and make it a happy place for you!
