Gemma Clarke
Let’s face it – most times, when we’re dating someone, we have no idea whether we are coming or going. One minute they seem into us; the next, they are blowing cold.
If you’ve been single for a while, you might be tempted to go along with these mind games.
Well, don’t!
You are worth so much more than an indecisive and inconsistent partner.
I promise… You don’t have to settle for anyone who is flaky or fickle. You will meet someone who is 100% ready to commit.
But how do you know when that time has come? What are the signs that you’ve met the right person?
Here are ten unmistakable signs that your new lover is here for the long run!
1) They introduce you to their family
If your new boo takes you to meet their friends, it shows they are proud to have you by their side. However, this doesn’t always mean they are ready to commit; they might just want to show off their latest flame.
However, if they introduce you to their parents, this seriously suggests they see a future with you.
Think about it…
Most people don’t take their dates to meet their family unless they see the potential for it to become something serious.
So meeting your partner’s parents is often one of the first signs that they want a committed relationship with you.
Especially if they also do this…
2) They refer to you as their “partner”
Of course, if you have only been on a couple of dates, they will most likely introduce you as their “friend.”
But if you’ve been dating someone for several months and they still introduce you to people as their “friend,” this may mean they aren’t serious about your relationship.
So if someone takes you to meet their family and introduces you as their partner, you can probably put your single days behind you!
3) They use “We” when talking about the future
If you envision a future with your partner but are unsure whether they feel the same, listen to how they talk about the future.
I once dated a guy who would ALWAYS use “I” when talking about their future, even when referring to the near future – as in next week!
Guess what?
This is a HUGE red flag.
If your new partner only uses “I” when discussing the future, they simply don’t see you in it.
However, if they use “we” and mention you in their plans even if you haven’t discussed them, it shows they are willing to commit, and they don’t see you as just a fling.
Interestingly, scientific research on relationship commitment backs this up. A 2017 paper called “Expectations for future relationship satisfaction” examined what makes people commit.
They found that most people choose to commit if they feel a high likelihood of future satisfaction in that relationship. Future happiness includes anticipated life events together, so if they include you in their plans, they think they will have a happy future with you.
4) They are happy to hang out with you and do nothing
If you’ve moved past the dinner dates and are spending time with each other in everyday situations, it is a good sign your partner wants a deeper involvement in your life.
A committed person is happy to hang out with you at home, do simple things like go for walks, and even run errands with you.
So if “Netflix and chill” literally becomes watching Netflix and chilling, this a sign that your partner is interested in much more than just casual sex.
5) They make sacrifices for you
One of the biggest signs of commitment in a relationship is when your partner factors you in when making decisions.
This can be something small like refusing overtime so they can spend more time with you.
Or it can be a significant sacrifice like canceling a 6-month backpacking trip they had planned.
If you notice your partner is changing their plans or adjusting their schedule for you, it’s time to commit!
6) They are there for you when you need them
Answer this:
What does your partner do when you get sick?
Do they say, “ok, let me know when you are feeling better,” or do they rush round to your house with hot soup and medicine?
If it’s the latter, this shows your partner is here for the long haul.
The same is true during stressful situations.
- If a family member gets taken to hospital, do they offer to go with you?
- If you are stressed from work, are they willing to sit and listen to your problems?
How someone reacts when times get tough says A LOT about how they feel towards you and your relationship.
A committed partner is available to meet all your needs, not just the ones that benefit them.
7) They want to work through your differences
How your partner responds to your arguments during the early days can signify how committed they are.
Let me explain:
If your partner reacts to an argument by storming off and ignoring your calls, they likely are not ready to commit.
But if they actively try to work things out and move past the argument, this shows they highly value you and your relationship.
If someone is ready to commit, they will put in the effort required to make the relationship work.
They understand that there will be difficulties and choose to work through them rather than throw in the towel without even trying.
Still, moving past disagreements requires effort from both sides. So ensure you are also open to healthy discussions with your partner.
If, like me, open communication is not your strong point, I highly recommend doing some inner work around this to get to the root of the issue.
You see, we often have (unconscious) self-sabotaging behaviors that repel potential partners and make them not want to commit.
This is something I learned by watching Rudá Iandê’s free video on Love and Intimacy.
This masterclass helped me uncover several self-sabotaging behaviors of mine. It also gave me practical solutions for putting a stop to them, while cultivating a healthy relationship full of respect, trust, and commitment.
Click here to watch the free video.
8) They tell you their secrets
Now, I don’t mean they must tell you their deepest darkest secret to show they are committed to you.
But…
If you notice your partner is sharing more about the intimate aspects of their life and past, it shows they see you as someone who will be around for a while. It also shows they have a high level of trust in you.
When a relationship becomes committed, both partners tend to open up more, so along with sharing secrets, you will also notice the following…
9) You have deep discussions
If someone is ready to commit to you, they will likely ask you lots of deep questions like:
- What is your biggest dream in life?
- Do you want children in the future?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
If you notice your conversations are no longer surface level and you are discussing big things like this, it is because your partner is trying to understand if you are compatible.
Before committing to a relationship, it is vital to understand if your values and aspirations align.
If you both want entirely different things, it is better to find out now than one year in.
So if your partner seems interested in learning more about you and starts deep conversations, they are considering getting serious with you!
10) They stick up for you and protect you
A recent research article published in Personality and Social Psychology Review (PSPR) explored how humans choose and commit to a life partner.
Interestingly, researchers found that as a relationship shifts from casual to serious, each partner’s motivations move from self-interest toward broader concerns like protecting their partner and the relationship.
What does this mean?
Well, if your partner shows healthy protective behaviors towards you, they are ready to commit. These may include:
- Wanting to walk closest to the traffic when walking down the road together.
- Asking you to text them when you get home.
- Sticking up for you when someone speaks to you in a condensing way.
Of course, there is a huge difference between protective and controlling/possessive behavior.
The problem with the latter is that it can often be disguised as protective behavior.
For example, they may tell you not to wear skimpy clothes or go out at night because they worry about your safety. But, in reality, it is a form of control.
If someone shows signs of possessive and controlling behavior, this is NOT someone you should commit to!
Final thoughts
Navigating the dating world is never easy. All the games, ghosting, and dishonesty can drain our energy and leave us totally disheartened.
If you’ve been dating someone for a while now and they still aren’t showing any of these signs of commitment, it may be time to consider moving on.
But remember, sometimes our bad luck in love can be a sign to go inwards and focus on our own growth.
Working on yourself will put you in a much better position to find the one, and Rudá Iandê’s free Love and Intimacy video is a great resource to start with!
