8 signs you’ve stopped relying on gurus and started listening to yourself

It seems anyone can become a self-proclaimed ‘guru’ nowadays. 

The truth is, there’s nothing wrong with having teachers and guides to help you along your personal journey.

It can be a life-changing moment to hear someone say the things we resonate with and to realize that there is a person who holds many traits that we aspire to. 

But remember, a real ‘guru’ wouldn’t want you to depend on them. 

A real teacher who truly cares will always remind you that everything you need is within you. They will empower you to find knowing within yourself. 

Plus… they probably wouldn’t call themselves a ‘guru’. 

So while seeking knowledge and inspiration from these individuals can be beneficial, there comes a point in our personal development journey when we need to shift our focus inward. 

This shift represents a pivotal moment when we’ve healed and cleared enough of our distortions that we can start relying on our inner wisdom and intuition.

Here are 8 signs that indicate you’ve transitioned from guru reliance to self-listening, signifying a profound transformation in your personal growth journey.

1) You start asking questions

In the honeymoon phase of self-development or spirituality, you might be enamored by all the things someone you look up to says. 

Every new piece of wisdom or advice is a magical discovery that you might take at face value. 

But when you start listening to yourself, you will start to question even those you consider teachers. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean you straight up disagree with them, but you do start to think: does this information really apply to me or this situation? 

Is this really how I’m feeling or seeing things? 

You become able to ask those questions and answer them for yourself. 

You recognize that life’s complexities cannot always be distilled into easy solutions. 

You embrace uncertainty and become comfortable with exploring various perspectives, including your own, to find the answers that resonate most with you.

Trust that voice that tells you to question certain things, because even the most experienced of monks, priests, and leaders still can’t fully agree on their beliefs. 

That’s because life and spirituality are a completely personal experience. Sure, there are overlaps to be found in our experiences – but the lesson is always evolving for each person. 

Sometimes, you can’t learn a certain lesson until you’ve discovered another one first – like the inner petals of a flower not being able to bloom until the outside ones do. 

Trust the timing of your journey’s blossoming.

2) You trust yourself more than ever

Speaking of trusting yourself, this happens to be another sign you’ve started listening to your inner voice

Your intuition is sharper than it’s ever been!

You’ve learned to listen to your own judgment, instincts, and decision-making abilities, when you might’ve once dismissed your own inner knowing or listened to others over yourself. 

And while you are aware that gurus and experts can provide valuable insights, you no longer depend on them to make choices in your life. 

Rather, you filter what they say through your own lens of experience and perception – your intuition, first. 

Congratulations, this means you’re gaining the wisdom to navigate your own path!

3) You are being authentically you

People with a lot of influence can tend to breed followers who mimic them. 

When you’ve stopped relying on gurus, you might start to prioritize being authentically yourself, even if you’re judged for it. 

This means expressing yourself in the ways that feel most natural to you, rather than behaving like someone else or like a group of people.

You begin to understand that following someone else’s blueprint for success or happiness may not align with your true self. 

Instead, you’re more interested in exploring your own unique traits, passions, and ideals.

4) You’re feeling more empowered

When you trust your intuition, you will naturally start to feel empowered

Nobody is taking you by the hand or giving you instructions on what to do – you’re the guide to your own decisions. 

It’s amazing when you become an active creator of your reality, rather than a passive bystander. 

The difference in the way you will experience life is massive! 

This sense of empowerment fuels your self-confidence and motivation to pursue your goals and dreams. 

You truly believe in yourself, and that you have it all within you to be able to achieve whatever you want.

5) You become more aware of your thoughts and actions

lack of self awareness 8 signs you’ve stopped relying on gurus and started listening to yourself

Listening to yourself requires self-awareness.

You regularly reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, gaining deeper insights into your motivations and desires. 

You have a greater understanding of how your thoughts influence your emotions and actions, and how your actions influence the world around you. 

So, you start to make more informed choices that feel aligned with your true self, and that you feel good about.

6) Your patience and resolve are stronger

When you’re not relying on gurus, you tap into deeper reserves of strength from within. 

You deeply understand that nobody can tap into your greatest inner strength on your behalf.

This means your resilience, patience, and resolve all become greater; while life’s challenges no longer send you into a spiral of seeking external solutions or relying on other people. 

Instead, you face adversity with inner knowing that you have the capacity to adapt, learn, and grow from your experiences.

You face challenges with grace and patience. 

Also, you’ve shifted your perspective on failure. Instead of viewing it as a setback, you see it as an opportunity for growth, so you don’t fear or shame yourself for mistakes. 

And it’s all because you understand that failure is a natural part of the learning process. 

This newfound resilience will allow you to persevere through any adversity.

7) You do what makes you feel good

Self-care, physical and mental wellness, and fitness are all trendy topics these days – with more varying opinions than you could possibly count. 

But one sign that you’re listening to yourself is this: 

You’ve experimented with enough practices, routines, and regimes that you’ve been able to filter through what works for you and what doesn’t.

You’re no longer doing what’s trending. You know exactly which self-care practices help you stay balanced and which don’t resonate with you. 

So you don’t waste time on them. 

You really know how to nourish your mind, body, and soul, rather than following the changing tides of external opinions about well-being.

8) Others notice or are inspired by your journey

When you’re really working on yourself through listening to your intuition, people will notice!

Friends and loved ones may mention the changes they see within you. 

Know that they might not all understand your lifestyle or how you got there – but they will notice nonetheless. 

Some might even seek your guidance on how to embark on their own path of self-discovery. 

You see, when you’re following someone else’s prescription of what to do, you simply don’t experience the same genuine joy and radiance that comes from listening to your inner knowing.

And others around you can feel whether it’s genuine or not. 

So if people bring up that you see brighter, happier, or more content, take it as a sign that you’re on the right track. 

Final thoughts

So there you have it, the 8 signs that you’ve shifted from relying on external voices and more on yourself. 

I can’t emphasize this enough: this is one of the most important transitions in a self-development journey. 

Seeking and learning from those who are more experienced can be incredibly helpful. 

But make sure that you always apply anything you learn through the lens of your own views, experiences, and gut instinct. 

Always make sure that you come back to the most important voice of all – your own. 

This transition empowers you to lead a life filled with authenticity, self-assurance, and boundless possibilities.

So become someone you can trust. Do what you tell yourself you will. Practice having the kind of thoughts that you want to have. 

Learn to trust your own guidance, and you will make leaps and bounds into your full potential. 

Picture of Shela Riva

Shela Riva

Shela Riva is a Thai-Swiss freelance writer, artist, energy mentor and co-creator of Jaiyen Eco Resort, a creative retreat space in Thailand. She is deeply passionate about our incredible ability to transform and is dedicated to helping each person realize the power within themselves, whether through her writing, empowering custom art pieces, one-on-one work or in-person retreats.

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