7 signs you’ve reached a slump in your self-development journey (and how to get going again)

I want 2024 to be MY YEAR—the year I finally achieve all my major life goals from fitness to personality to career…everything!

That’s why on New Year’s day, instead of going out, I was just at home writing my goals away.

I was so damn serious!

But now, just a month later, I have reached a slump.

It sucks and I hate myself a little for it…but I’m not the only one.

Do you know that 80% of people fail to keep their resolutions by February?

So if you’re like me, trust me— we’re fine!

All we have to do is keep going.

In this article, I will give you 7 signs you’ve reached a slump in your self-development journey (and how to get going again).

1) You don’t even want to think about it

One way to know that your slump has gotten so bad is when you don’t even want to think about your goals anymore.

You just don’t want to deal with any of it!

And when someone forces you to think about it—say, your friend asks you “So, how’s your 4am habit? Were you able to keep it up?”—you get a little pissed.

You’re pissed not only because you hate the fact that you’ll tell them you’ve “failed”.

But also because now you have to sit down with yourself and think of how “awful” you are for “screwing up” your self-development journey.

2) Your enthusiasm has tanked

Once upon a time, self-development was all you can think about and talk about.

You made spreadsheets, you read books, you listened to podcasts…

You were eating and breathing it like it’s the most important thing!

But now, you’re just “cool” about it.

You’re preoccupied with other things. Life happened.

But if you’re to be honest, you’ve lost interest in it already.

3) You’re not feeling so proud of yourself

But for some reason, you feel like you have to make BIG changes to show that you’re the kind of person who rocks at self-development.

And now, you don’t feel proud of yourself, like— at all.

In fact, you’re ashamed of how you’ve not taken off when you promised yourself that this will be your best year or that you’ll have a total transformation in just a month.

4) You no longer hold yourself accountable

You used to be tough on yourself.

In fact, at the start of your self-development journey, you were shouting at yourself as if you’re Tony Robbins.

But now, you’ve become so laid back and so gentle that you’ve become Louise Hay.

You no longer make a big deal if you stopped showing up.

Worse, you now come up with excuses that you call legit reasons!

You now downplay why you’re no longer following through and even give elaborate justifications of why you can’t keep moving forward.

5) You start to get defensive and bitter

You’ve found reasons on why it’s okay for you to not keep going with your self-development journey.

But because you’re not genuinely convinced of your reasons, you get defensive and bitter.

When others talk about self-development, you now say things like “Why can’t we just be content?” or “We should learn to be happy with what we have.”

You didn’t think this way at the beginning of your journey…so either you’ve transformed into the Dalai Lama…or you’re just saying these things to comfort yourself.

6) You secretly hate people who are killin’ it

Your heart aches a little every time you see others achieving their milestones.

You tell yourself “If only you had self-discipline!” or worse, “Why can’t you be just like them?!”

You might have muted their instagram stories because you can’t stand them “bragging” about their achievements.

You might have canceled dates with them because you don’t like their “Go big or go home” energy.

You’re perfectly aware it’s not their fault, but you just can’t stop yourself from hating them a little.

7) You feel like you wasted your time

Do you beat yourself up for even starting your self-development journey?

Do you feel foolish for thinking you can actually make changes in your life?

Welcome to the club!

I’ve felt this way several times in the past.

I tell myself “Bah, why did you even start if you won’t follow through? You should have just spent your time sleeping instead of pursuing things.”

How to get going again

Keep going 7 signs you've reached a slump in your self-development journey (and how to get going again)

Can you relate to all of the signs above?

Then, congratulations! It definitely means you’ve reached a slump!

While it’s tempting to quit, it’s actually the right time to get back on track.

Here’s how you can do it better this time around.

Step 1: Forgive yourself

Listen, you didn’t commit a crime! You’re not a loser. Almost everyone reaches a slump.

In case no one told you, it’s normal to experience a slump when we’re trying to achieve anything.

So be kind to yourself.

If you keep shaming yourself for “not being a winner” and “not keeping your promises”, you’ll only do more harm than good.

You’ll lose all motivation and right now, you need 90% motivation to go on.

Step 2: Develop a new mindset

The goal isn’t to win right away, the goal is to have enough motivation and energy to keep going.

You see, real change takes time.

You can’t achieve it on the first try. Probably not even the tenth.

So when you reach a slump, pat yourself on the back and just tell yourself to keep going.

Think this way: It probably takes 100 slumps for you to finally succeed at your self-development journey.

Step 3: Figure out why you reached a slump

Yes, forgive yourself and yes, have a new mindset.

But do more than that.

You gotta figure out what went wrong so you’d know how to make things better. That’s how we achieve success.

List down the reasons why you think you reached a slump.

  • Were your goals so big that they overwhelmed you?
  • Did you put too much stuff on your plate?
  • Are you depressed?

Ask yourself why…and be very honest. And it might also be a good idea to ask others why they think you reached a slump.

Step 4: Come up with a better strategy

Once you have listed down the possible reasons why you reached a slump, it’s time to come up with a better strategy.

If you’re depressed, you might want to start working on that.

If you’re overwhelmed, you might want to turn your goals into bite-sized ones.

You’re the best person for this but if you want, you can ask help from people who have reached their self-development goals.

Another option is to read up on how to set goals and really achieve them.

But remember, what works for others might not work for you. So you have to come up with your own strategy based on your personality.

Step 5: Recommit to your goals

Take a moment to sit down and renew your vows to yourself.

Tell yourself that you won’t ever stop even if it takes a hundred and one slumps.

If it helps you, you might want to write down your goals again.

This renewal of vow will give you the feeling of hope, and it’s extremely essential if you want to keep going.

Final thoughts

Self-development requires new habits.

And while some say habits can be formed in 21 days, it turns out that’s not really the case for most people. Studies show that it’s actually 66 days!

What does this mean?

It means real change takes a while…and it’s never easy!

So if you’ve reached a slump, don’t beat yourself up for it. You will get up and try again…then reach a slump again…then get up again.

Progress is not linear and so if you’re currently at the bottom, don’t make a big deal out of it.

You WILL keep improving on your self-development journey so long as you don’t stop.

So chin up and keep going! That’s all you really need to do.

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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