I’m guessing the way you go about your day just comes naturally to you, right?
You talk to people, call up your friends, make small talk at work, and just experience life the way you’ve always experienced it.
You don’t think that the way you’re acting influences how others act, right?
Well, I’m here to tell you that it does!
When you have exceptionally good communication skills, you probably don’t even notice the impact it has on people around you, but, trust me, it’s big!
If you’ve seen, felt, or experienced these things, psychology says you’ve got great communication skills – and they’re the reason why you live life the way you do!
Up first:
1) You notice when someone’s mood changes
Have you ever been talking to someone and suddenly noticed a switch in them? Like one moment, they’re laughing and joking.
The next, they’re quiet and giving short answers.
That’s a mood change – and you’ve just spotted it.
To you, catching this behavior in a person might be just another day in the office.
You pick up on things like this all the time and you wonder what’s going on.
But believe it or not, few people actually recognize these things.
Some people will keep chatting away with this person without noticing their switch in mood.
They’ll obliviously keep talking about the subject or asking those questions.
They’ll go home that night thinking nothing more of the encounter.
These people don’t have excellent communication skills (or much emotional intelligence!). But people like you DO.
2) You can make small talk with anyone
What happens when you’re in an elevator with someone? Do you stand there willing time to go faster, growing more and more awkward by the second?
Or do you look them in the eye as they waltz in, shoot them a smile, and before you know it, you’re making chit-chat with them?
If it’s the latter, you’re good at small talk – and you can make it with anyone!
Historically, some researchers claimed that small talk was futile, an abysmal form of communication that served no progressive purpose whatsoever.
But more modern science isn’t quite so dismissive.
They’ve decided that small talk is a skill and a strength.
It has the power to reassure, acknowledge, nurture, encourage, or just make people feel happy.
Which is why YOU can do it so well.
3) You have a lot of genuine friends
It’s all about quality, not quantity, as the age-old saying goes. And it’s true!
Especially when it comes to your friends.
Sure, you may have a lot of friends when you have OK social skills.
But most of those friends will be GENUINE when you have good communication skills as well!
If this is you, you’ll have people in your life who you truly know and feel like they know you.
You’ll believe that you can call up any of your friends at any time of day and have a real conversation with them.
You’ll know what’s going on in your friend’s lives and how they’ve been feeling recently.
This isn’t something you’ll have when your communication skills are merely subpar…
4) You have strangers talk to you
When was the last time a stranger approached you at the store and made a random comment?
Or the last time you were walking down the street and someone asked you for help or paid you a compliment?
I’ll bet it was fairly recently! Why?
Because when you have good communication skills, this kind of thing happens to you all the time.
Personally, I believe in the law of attraction. Which is, as the experts say, when the energy you give off influences the energy you receive.
When you have good communication skills, you put out a signal that you’re an approachable person.
It might be through the way you walk or the way you hold yourself. Or it might be in the way you make eye contact with people and have open body language.
Whatever it is, people gravitate towards you when you have good communication skills – and you’ll know it by the number of strangers who ask YOU for help over anyone else!
5) People open up to you
People don’t just make casual small talk or requests for help when they notice your energy.
They open up to you, too!
When you meet someone a handful of times, they might tell you more about themselves and open up about things they’ve been going through.
The same happens with strangers, coworkers, friends of friends, and even your own social circle.
People choose YOU to talk to about their problems all the time and it isn’t just a coincidence.
It’s because you’re great at communication – and other people have noticed it before you have!
6) You make eye contact all the time
Eye contact is one of the most important things to maintain when you want to communicate well.
Experts say that looking someone in the eye while they talk shows that you’re paying attention and are interested in them.
In turn, this makes them feel valued and respected.
It also makes them feel better about you, your confidence, and even your authority.
If you naturally hold someone’s eye when you or they are talking, don’t underestimate the power it has.
It might be second nature to you, but it isn’t for everyone else.
You have a skill and it’s a good one – and it probably pays off more than you think!
7) You think before responding
How many times have you been in a conversation with someone and you’ve held yourself back from saying something?
You think about responding with a certain suggestion, but you stop yourself at the last second and simply nod along instead.
That’s your exceptional communication skills kicking in.
People who act this way have emotional intelligence, empathy, self-awareness, and strong analytical skills.
The smarter you are (street-wise, not book-wise), the more you think before you respond.
You don’t over-analyze your words too much, but you have a good judgment on when to say something and when to not.
8) You listen more than you speak
When you open up to someone about an issue you’ve been having, what do you really want them to say?
Do you want them to tell you “everything’s fine” and you “just need to do this and this and this” to get over it?
I’m guessing you don’t. That’s because when people talk about something, most of the time, they just want to be heard.
They don’t want to hear your views or listen to what you’d do if you were in their shoes.
They definitely don’t want to hear you teach them to suck eggs!
An interesting study by the Harvard Business Review even found that, in a professional setting, managers who gave feedback to their staff caused their performance to decline by almost 40% – even if it was positive!
Which basically means, giving people feedback isn’t as good as listening to them. It’s a sign of BAD communication skills, rather than good!
9) You rarely offer advice
If you’ve read the point above, it fuels this one pretty nicely! Not only do you listen more than you speak when you have good communication skills.
You also hardly EVER offer advice to someone.
That is, unsolicited advice. Studies show that when you do this, it can alienate the person you’re talking to.
It can make you seem judgmental or like you’re in charge (just not in a good, authoritative way).
When people ask for your views or in certain situations, you’re happy to talk about what you think should happen.
Or point someone in the right direction.
But realistically, those situations are few and far between when you’re a good communicator…
10) You have a relaxed stance
Relaxed conversations stem from relaxed people.
Speaking of the law of attraction earlier, your energy is contagious.
How do we know that’s true? Imagine the last time you spoke to someone who seemed incredibly nervous.
They kept fidgeting in their seat, eyes darting around the room and cheeks a permanent red.
Was that a relaxed conversation? Did you feel comfortable? Did you enjoy it?
My guess is that you didn’t.
That’s because there’s a synergy between how relaxed someone is and how well the conversation flows, according to experts.
When you’re acting nervous, the other person probably feels uncomfortable, too.
But when you act relaxed, with loose shoulders, uncrossed arms, and a calm expression, the other person should, too.
Which should, in turn, lead to better, more productive communication between the two of you.
Final thoughts
Good things come to those with good communication. I just made that saying up, but I believe it’s true!
The better you are at communicating, the better your relationships are (romantic and otherwise).
When you have more positive relationships with people around you, the happier you’re more likely to be, according to experts.
So if you feel pretty happy with life and experience things like the above, it’s probably because you’re such a good communicator – and your skills are having more of an impact on your life than you think!
