Having a laid-back personality can make you a magnet for others who can’t get enough of your calm, easy-going nature.
But what qualities can we cultivate to exude this chilled vibe that draws people in?
Here are some signs that you already possess this desirable trait.
1) You’re flexible and prepared to adapt
Your motto in life is to go with the flow.
Sometimes we must accept that bumps in the road are inevitable. Rather than let them stress you out, you roll with the punches.
You’ve realized that there are plenty of things we don’t get a say over.
Some highly strung people mistakenly see this as a defeatist stance. But it’s about focusing your energy on the things you can control and letting go of the rest.
Otherwise, you’re just fighting against the tide.
This flexible nature means you deal well with change and ensures that you easily adjust to new situations.
That allows you to be a reassuring presence for others during upheaval and disruption too.
It also means you’re more willing to consider different perspectives because you’re less attached to one narrow vision, as we’re about to see.
2) You’re tolerant and open-minded about people’s differences
Laid-back people are ultimately open.
As we’ve heard, rather than be rigid, they’re malleable in all the best ways.
You are just as capable of mental flexibility as you are of dealing with new circumstances.
That means you can comfortably embrace diversity around you and accept different opinions and beliefs.
Your ego doesn’t feel the need to impose its thinking on others. You don’t feel threatened by disagreement.
In fact, you enjoy the variety that comes from new points of view.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you never assert your own ideas, but as we’ll touch on next, conflict simply isn’t your chosen style of communication.
You know that it’s true what they say:
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
3) You’re patient and keep your cool
Not everyone who avoids conflict does so because they’re scared of it. The gentle approach can be tactical.
For starters, you avoid people’s defense mechanisms from coming out and getting in the way of compromise.
Some people just genuinely feel that most of the time, it’s better to be happy than to be right. And you are most definitely one of those people.
Meaning, you don’t feel the need to win just for winning’s sake.
Sure, you have principles and beliefs that you live by, but you focus on self-government rather than proving a point to everyone else.
This allows you to stay calm under pressure. In fact, you don’t get easily frustrated and manage to stay relaxed even when others become heated.
Part of this is thanks to the fact that you don’t sweat the small stuff.
You likely have a few calming techniques like breathwork, meditation, and mindfulness up your sleeve to help you practice greater patience and acceptance.
4) You’re upbeat and prefer to take a positive approach
At the heart of every high-maintenance person is an ungrateful attitude.
They think life owes them something and so they’re never satisfied.
Laid-back folk are quite the opposite.
They radiate good vibes because they are grateful and that gives them a “too blessed to be stressed” outlook.
Rather than complain you prefer to look on the bright side.
It’s not about putting up with less than you deserve but it is about recognizing what you’ve got.
It’s this positive framework that means laid-back people aren’t particularly fussy about things.
They’re able to keep perspective about what matters most and what’s not such a big deal.
5) You’re approachable
Being approachable may be something that comes naturally to you.
Chances are, you’ve never even given much thought to the qualities that make you this way.
But it’s down to a special blend of things that signals to other people that you are warm and friendly.
We’re talking about:
- Open body language that makes you appear receptive (i.e. straight posture, uncrossed arms, shoulders pressed back)
- Smiling
- Making good eye contact
- Mirroring other people’s body language
- Being helpful and positive
It’s this that helps you to create a welcoming atmosphere when you meet new people that leaves a good first impression.
6) You’re a good listener
Laid-back people can sometimes be mistaken as being quiet or even shy.
Yet that’s not what’s going on. Others may just assume that about them because they listen more than they speak.
This means you’re attentive and give your full attention to others.
Never underestimate how valuable this is when it comes to likability.
It shows others respect and lets them know that you are interested in what they have to say.
We all like to talk about ourselves, and those people who sit back and listen to us help us feel validated.
This observant streak also means you’ve probably become an expert in understanding others’ emotions and reading people.
Because of all this people are inexplicably drawn to you without even knowing why.
7) You’re fun-loving and don’t take life too seriously
Let’s get one thing clear:
This isn’t about dodging responsibility or being lazy. You still know how to apply yourself and work to get things done.
Neither does it mean detaching yourself from the shadow side of life. We all know that life brings both ups and downs, highs and lows.
An attempt to sidestep that and only experience the best parts falls into toxic positivity.
But laid-back people make a conscious effort not to burden themselves unnecessarily with suffering.
That’s why you believe it’s important to take a playful approach.
You enjoy a good laugh and don’t take everything so seriously. This light energy is contagious and so people want to be around it.
In doing so you bring joy to others and help them to relax too.
Yes, shit happens but it doesn’t stop you from smiling your way through it. This is what makes us more resilient in the long run.
8) You’re authentic and can be yourself
This isn’t just a gift for yourself (as it promotes stronger self-esteem), it’s a gift to others.
When we are real, we give others permission to be the same. So your unpretentious approach puts people at ease.
You are yourself and that takes vulnerability, but people respond to it.
You don’t feel the need to put on airs or graces. What people see is what they get.
This authenticity makes them feel at home in your presence and facilitates real connection.
Your authenticity may also be one of the reasons why you manage to be so laid back in the first place.
Research has shown how it’s linked to useful coping skills that us to navigate challenges in healthy ways.
9) You don’t interfere and you trust people enough to let go of the reins
Control freaks are so uptight because they simply cannot do this.
They feel a need to grasp on and be in charge of every little detail.
If you’ve ever been micromanaged you’ll know how annoying this can be. It makes others feel like you don’t trust them.
If you’ve got a laid-back personality, it’s not that you’re lazy or disorganized, it’s more that you can let go.
You are happy to play your part, but you don’t feel the need to take charge.
Even in a leadership role, you want everyone to feel equally appreciated and contribute.
This cooperative rather than dictatorship approach always wins friends as well as influence.
10) The journey matters more to you than the destination
It’s become a bit of a cliche. We’re always told to stay in the present moment, focus on the now, and let go of the outcome.
But no matter how much we know it’s true, it doesn’t make it any easier to do.
A lot of us get tripped up on worrying about the end result.
We get obsessed with particular achievements or accolades that we hope will make us feel worthy.
We go in search of external validation and possessions that we hope will finally make us happy.
Laid-back people know that the real prize always lies in living this exact moment to it’s fullest.
When you do, you’re less likely to get caught up in stressing about the future or fretting about the past.
Being chill doesn’t mean you don’t care
Laid back doesn’t mean disengaged.
I think that’s an important clarification.
Sometimes people think that being relaxed makes you somehow apathetic or even uncaring.
But it just comes down to how you handle things, both the good and the bad.
Taking this easygoing stance can lead to many positive outcomes in your relationships and interactions with others.
People understandably want to be around those who offer a sense of ease and comfort in the room.
If you tick off plenty of the signs of a laid-back personality, you are likely someone that people love to be around.
So embrace your chill vibes and continue to spread positivity wherever you go!
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