Liv Walde
At some point down the line of being quirky and unique and embracing your individuality, you’ll probably stumble upon a partner-in-crime.
And as being unique is often rejected by many other people, you’ll likely notice straight away when you find the perfect partner.
Long gone are the days of repressing certain behaviors or interests that have been met with side-eyes and frowns.
Instead, finding the perfect partner means getting loose and letting go of all inhibitions and restraints.
But sometimes, having been so burned in previous relationships, it can take a little nudge to realize how fortunate you are with your current partner.
If that sounds like you and you need some pointers on figuring out if you’ve found your perfect partner, check out these 10 tell-tale signs:
1) You bring out the best in each other
Starting off strong is if you feel like you can really relax around your partner.
All your fun and unique habits and interests come out to play, and you can rest assured that they won’t be met with judgement or humiliation.
And not only can you relax into yourself around this person; you actually start to feel as if they uncover the best version of you.
You feel funnier, happier, more motivated and more confident.
This energy transfer between perfect partners is incredible, and one of the most telling signs that you’ve found the one.
2) You still live a life separate from one another
Despite them being this amazing force of energy and presence within your life, you’re not tied at the hip.
Partners who bring out the best in one another tend not to be codependent, as being heavily reliant on one another to the extent that you cannot function alone is actually a red flag.
Instead, this person lights you on fire when you’re around them (or finally puts out the flames in your mind – perfect partners tend to do what we need them to).
But, they also encourage you to live your own life; to follow your own hobbies, to pursue your separate friendships, and to chase your own dreams.
There’s no feelings of guilt or remorse in spending a few days apart.
Instead, those who mean us well and have our best interests at heart will if anything encourage us to pursue our passions and cultivate our own interests.
3) They value what you say
Feeling like no one is listening nor really cares about what you have to say isn’t something you experience within your relationship.
If anything, you’ll probably be able to look back and track a rise in your self-confidence owing to how much your partner gives you their full attention and pays immense attention to what you have to say.
Forget being scared of voicing your opinion out of a fear of being judged or ignored.
Instead, whatever the topic – the gross sandwich you had for lunch, current political affairs, or how immensely cute baby racoons are – you can be sure your partner is all ears.
Sharing views and opinions is a two way street, so you no doubt grant them the same deference when listening to their opinions and thoughts.
4) They’re your safe space
If you’re like me, and would call yourself fairly quirky, fairly unique, but with a good dose of anxiety splashed in, you’ll likely find that your body subconsciously sees your perfect partner as home.
I have never fallen asleep when watching a film, nor been able to sleep with someone even laying a finger on me or breathing too closely in my direction.
Yet, somehow, my body decided that my partner was suddenly the safe space in which it could do all of those things.
Suddenly feeling extremely sleepy in their presence or generally in a blissful peace is a sure sign of your body indicating that it thinks they’re the perfect one for you.
5) Silence isn’t awkward
That first-date, fill-the-void with awkward small-talk is over.
You enjoy each other’s presence, but you don’t need to be doing something or talking when together.
In fact, you sometimes find yourselves sitting in complete silence, maybe one person gaming, one reading, or working on different projects.
Both of you wholly enjoy the silent company of your partner and best friend without needing to constantly involve the other person or talk to them.
6) You have your conflict resolution sorted
Every couple fights, but you guys fight fair.
You’ve likely argued before – how else do you work through issues and build conflict resolution skills that work well for each other?
And now, you don’t run from disagreements or mild fall outs.
You’ve learned each other’s needs and requirements and are well-versed in knowing how to debate without anger, when to give the other person space, and how to make up and say sorry.
7) Touchy feely, but with no strings attached
Again, myself a self-confessed hater of physical touch, I was surprised at how much I relaxed into it in the presence of my boyfriend.
And any hand holding, kissing, or play fighting never comes with a question mark shortly thereafter.
Ie. Physical touch and affection binds you to your perfect partner and keeps a playful spark alive between you, but there isn’t a constant expectation that it must lead to sex.
Instead, it’s for the most part playful as you both let your inner children out to enjoy themselves.
8) You don’t doubt their feelings
A big part of rocky relationships is the lingering question of, ‘do they like me?’
The most common answer to that question is that any doubt will tell you the answer; it’s a no.
True love doesn’t breed doubt.
And whilst affection and romance often isn’t so black-and-white, you can surely say that you’re confident in your partner’s feelings for you.
You believe what they say and you’re not left doubting every interaction or every ‘I love you’, searching for answers.
9) You share some interests
As mentioned above, you don’t have to drag your partner along to every hobby and interest you personally have.
But it’s likely that you two meet somewhere in the middle and can bond over at least one activity.
It might even be something you only tried after you got together.
Who knows, maybe you’re keen weekly paragliders now.
Someone who lifts you up and embraces all your weird sides won’t turn an invitation to participate in some sort of unusual hobby.
If anything, they’ll be over the moon to be able to experience something new with you, so will give it a go – even if it’s not typically what they’d choose to do.
10) You speak each other’s languages
Not just in terms of spoken language, because love knows no bounds and who knows, maybe you two don’t speak the same language.
I’m talking emotional language, physical language, love language.
In the same way that you’ve learned how to adeptly resolve conflict together, you also have studied each other.
You know how to make your partner feel loved and seen, and know that they appreciate gifts over physical touch, hence you never come back from a morning run without picking up their favorite muffin.
The same goes for your partner. They’ve studied you like an encyclopaedia and have learned that you best receive words of affirmation over gifts yourself.
And whilst they might still gift you the occasional spontaneous present, you find yourself blushing as they shower you with verbalized affection and compliments.
The perfect partnership often doesn’t start out perfect…
But it takes growing and learning as you both learn to dance with one another.
We love talking about soulmates and sparks and twinflames, but real and honest love is often a choice that you make every day.
In choosing that person, and choosing to love, honor, and respect them, you show your unwavering commitment and dependable nature.
Fleeting dalliances and short flings can be fun, but your true match and perfect partner will most likely be in it for the long run.
That long-term commitment means honoring each other’s unique personalities at every stretch and turn, and being continually open to learning more about one another whilst you explore the world hand-in-hand.
