10 signs you’re not rude, you’re just an introvert

Introverts have to be one of the most misunderstood people in the world.

In a fast-paced society overrun by extroverts, if you’re one of them, it can be hard to find people who understand you. 

More often than not, people find you rude when you’re really just introverted.

As an introvert myself, I know I’ve been called a snob more than I’d like to. 

Can you relate? If you can, read more about the 10 signs you’re not rude, you’re just an introvert.

1) You prefer to be alone

A key sign that you’re an introvert is that you prefer to be alone. 

You enjoy your own company more than anyone else’s, because spending time by yourself makes you so much happier than spending time with other people.

Moreover, you also use this alone time to recharge your social batteries after a long day of interacting with other people.

Unfortunately, your preference to be alone can often be mistaken for rudeness because you don’t usually interact with others. 

People perceive you as rude or a snob because of this, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

You value alone time because when you’re alone, you’re not burdened by the need to socialize. 

In fact, being introverted has probably gotten you to develop alone time hobbies.

2) You have alone time hobbies

As an introvert myself, I have a lot of alone time hobbies.

This includes walking around the mall by myself, reading, eating outside, and browsing bookstores, the last of which I especially enjoy alone because I don’t feel the pressure of having someone wait on me while I browse rows and rows of books. 

If you can relate, you’re probably an introvert, just like me.

You like to do these things on your own because you get to decide what you want to do, as opposed to when you’re with other people.

For example, when you eat out with others, you have to consider their decision as well and this would take significantly more time than eating on your own.

Oftentimes, this can make you seem rude because you’d rather reject a person’s offer to spend time with them and spend time alone instead. But it’s not really about them, you just value your alone time. 

And as an introvert, you probably hate small talk as much as you love alone time.

3) You hate small talk

Introverts can’t stand small talk. 

Politely laughing at someone’s bad jokes, having to ignore their bad takes, feeling the need to respond at every word? Ugh, shudder!

Think this is you? That’s a sign you’re an introvert.

You think small talk is draining because there’s an arbitrary set of rules that you need to follow to do it, and you don’t really know how to be good at it.

You’ve never really mastered it too and not just because you don’t like it, but you also wouldn’t bother to.

Because of this, you try to avoid small talk like the plague. You’d probably rather stand awkwardly in the corner of a room at parties than have small talk with a stranger. Or find the host’s cat and play with it. 

Unfortunately, this avoidance of small talk can also make you seem unfriendly. That’s not the case, however. It’s not the people you hate, just the activity.

Just like small talk, you also don’t like talking on the phone, either. 

4) You don’t like talking on the phone

Even with close friends, you don’t really like talking on the phone. 

Like small talk, you find phone calls to be exhausting, and even more so than talking face-to-face, because you’re not afforded with other social cues like body language

Because of this, people might misunderstand your preference against talking on the phone to be rude when you don’t reply to their messages or answer their phone calls.

But, as usual, that’s not the thing. You don’t like phone calls because unlike talking face to face, phone calls and texts impose the need for you to respond rather than sit and agree quietly.

In the former, sometimes staying silent and nodding as they speak is enough. In the latter, the other person won’t really feel your presence until you respond, and having to constantly do so can be tiring. 

5) You’re very private

As an introvert, you don’t like to share personal things with strangers or people you just met, unless on the off chance that you’ve instantly connected with them.

Thing is, people need to get to know you first before you share things about yourself. After all, why would you share intimate details of your life to people you barely know?

This means you might only give one-word answers to people when they ask, which could be mistaken for rudeness and might make you seem closed-off, but you really just value your privacy.

Because you don’t feel the need to share with strangers, this naturally means you’re not really one to seek their validation.

6) You’re not one to seek validation from strangers

Too many people seek validation from strangers. Luckily, you’re not one of them.

You only really seek validation from people you look up to, and I bet there’s not many of them because you have high standards. 

And these high standards are also precisely the reason why you don’t seek the validation of strangers. Most of the time, you don’t even like interacting with them, so why would you want their validation?

This attitude can make you seem like a snob to others, however. Some people just can’t wrap their head around the fact that people they don’t know don’t really care about their opinion. 

Other people, especially those you don’t know, just drain your energy, which you’re very protective of. You only really expend it on things that matter for you, and it just so happens that the validation of strangers is not one of them. 

And just like the validation of strangers, you don’t really like gossiping, either.

7) You don’t gossip

People often bond over gossip, but you’re not a fan of it. 

In fact, you might actually even actively condemn it. You just can’t stand the way some people treat others nicely but talk about them badly behind their backs.

And because you’re very protective of your energy, you don’t like expending it over something as nonsensical as gossip.

Refusing to participate in gossip might come off as rude to other people especially since it’s also a way—albeit a bad one—to build rapport, but you really just believe that gossiping is bad as other people’s lives are not your business. 

If building rapport is the task, you’d rather do it in a more meaningful way, such as bonding over similar interests.

Because of normalized social activities like gossiping, this makes socializing very tiring for you as well.

8) Socializing drains your energy

As an introvert, contrary to popular belief, you actually do socialize, just not that often. This is because socializing drains your social batteries.

Unlike extroverts who get energized by crowds and people, you find that after a day of socializing, you need to be alone to recharge.

Sometimes, when you’re drained and still need to interact with others, you might try to avoid other people to try to be alone, which might come off as rude to others.

But simply wanting to be alone after a day of socializing doesn’t necessarily mean you’re rude. You’re just an introvert.

Because of how much socializing drains your energy, you often reject invites to parties with no problem.

9) You reject party invites with no problem

Hosting and attending parties might seem like a necessary social rite of passage especially when you’re in a new environment, but not for you. 

In fact, you can probably reject invitations to parties with no problem.

While you appreciate the invitation, most of the time, you’d rather reject it if it means you’d have to spend time with people you barely know. 

You’d rather spend your Saturday nights at home binging Netflix shows or reading a book than someplace else in a room full of strangers.

This may seem rude to others, but it really only means you’d rather spend time alone or with a few close friends. 

10) You have a small circle of friends

Introverts don’t usually have a lot of friends, and this is not because they’re antisocial—they just don’t feel the need to have a big social circle. If you can relate to this, you’re probably an introvert as well!

You share your life with only a few people because having many friends is exhausting for you. You just don’t feel the need to share intimate parts of your life with a lot of people, because for you, this makes life unnecessarily exhausting.

Unfortunately, a lot of people would not understand this, which is why you might be perceived as antisocial.

But you know you don’t need a huge circle of friends to be happy—you just need a select few that really understand you.

At the end of the day, even when the social status quo seems to be less than favorable to introverts, I would say there would always be something special—and almost magical—about our ability to be on our own and still enjoy life very much. 

That’s just the beauty of being introverted!



Picture of Joyce Ann Isidro

Joyce Ann Isidro

Joyce is a writer who believes in the power of storytelling and changing lives by writing stories about love, relationships, and spirituality. A bookworm and art enthusiast, she considers herself a creative-at-heart who likes to satisfy her childish wonder through new hobbies and experiences.

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