Liv Walde
You there!
Yes, I’m looking at you.
Don’t blush, there are plenty of things about you that would catch my attention.
I’ll let you off; not everyone’s used to standing in the spotlight and receiving praise.
But that doesn’t mean that there are many things about you that make you noticeable, that make you shine, and make you far more likable than you give yourself credit for.
I’m not trying to inflate your ego, but I know that we could all use a little confidence boost when it comes to conquering self-doubt and realizing that you’re not actually the devil’s spawn, but that instead people actually appreciate you far more than you know.
But I understand that little niggle of self-doubt that sits on one shoulder and whispers in your ear.
It tells you you’re not good enough, that people don’t like you, and casts a shadow across any judgement you make.
Fear not!
Pest control is here to exterminate that self-doubt, starting with these 10 signs that you’re more likable than you think.
1) You make amazing first impressions
People would keep you at arm’s length if you didn’t make great first impressions, so you’re naturally far better than you think.
I’m admittedly my own worst enemy.
I’ll leave a first interaction with someone new, shrinking into myself, micro-analyzing everything I said, and concluding that they think I’m a total idiot.
But then I’ll run into them at some later point and find myself greeted with big smiles and radiating warmth.
And if ever the topic of our first meeting is brought up, I’ll often be told that I come across as the happiest and most welcoming person ever.
So even if you also let self-doubt get the better of you and you doubt how you’re initially perceived, you’re likely doing a far better job than you think.
2) You’re privy to everyone’s secrets
Hopefully not in a therapist-y way as burdening too much can be exhausting, but if you find that people around you open up and share things with you, chances are they view you as a close and trusted confidant.
We tend to hide information from suspicious individuals who don’t seem worthy of our trust.
And whilst you might not realize it, being the shoulder that people lean on and the first person someone texts in their time of need is a clear sign that they value you immensely.
3) People get weird in your presence
Since we’re reclaiming the word weird…
Stop and think for a minute about how those you know well act in your presence.
Often, we let our guards down in the presence of those we trust and really like and let our authentic selves shine.
We feel safe and seen, and less anxious about letting our quirks run wild and facing judgement for standing out or deviating from the norm.
If you can pick up on little habits or traits that people uncover when they’re around you but otherwise keep hidden, I can tell you now that you mean the world to them.
4) You don’t always put your best foot forwards
Perfection can actually be a bit ingratiating.
And as it turns out, people tend to assimilate more with others who don’t always hit the mark; who make mistakes, show up with the occasional food stain on their sweater, or take a clumsy fall.
Take Jennifer Lawrence’s infamous stage tumbles, for example.
How much more down to earth and relatable did she seem after tripping on the Oscars stairs?
(Although she’s had to fight hard to defend herself and state this wasn’t intentional).
I’m not saying you should start throwing yourself at the floor, but know that letting your own guard down and showing up authentically makes you far more likable than a polished and flawless image you might try to present.
5) People laugh with you (not at you)
You might not consider yourself a top-tier comedian, but if you can get a round of giggles out of someone, you’re doing a pretty good job at winning them over.
Laughter is music for the soul and the glue that binds humans together.
Your jokes might still be stiff dad-comedy level, but being able to get someone to crack a smile through any form of humor is one of the best forms of icebreaker.
Plus, it seals your likability immediately.
6) They remember the little things
“How did your pie-making end up?”
A passing comment that you made about how you were planning to spend the weekend won’t fly over the head of someone who likes you, trust me.
They’ll pick up on the minute details and sequester them away so they have fodder to question you with at a later date.
They want your attention after all; they like you.
So the little details you think no one notices or listens to will suddenly resurface, and you’ll find yourself positively surprised at the fact that you’re actually seen and heard (and liked).
7) Mirror, mirror…
If you’ve read any dating books or how-to-impress-people books, you’ll know about the importance of mirroring and body language.
Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, keep an eye out for people who copy your stance, your gestures, or your pose when in your presence (or over Zoom).
Scientifically termed limbic synchrony, people do it both unconsciously and consciously, but it comes down to the same causation; they like you!
8) You don’t interrupt
Because you’re so damn interested in what other people have to say!
Interrupting for starters comes across as quite rude and demeaning.
Secondly, people love talking about themselves so appreciate a good listener more than anything.
Feeling like you can spill all your secrets or vent about your day, and that the person you’re talking to actually cares enough to give you their full attention makes your heart flutter.
9) And you don’t make them compete with your phone
Part of the reason people confide in you is because they don’t feel like they’re competing with your phone for your attention.
Phones are a third-party to every conversation and relationship.
It’s crushing to want to spend quality time with someone but feel like they’re more interested in browsing their social media feeds than they are catching up with you.
Especially as people grow older and busier, their free time becoming more scarce and more valuable.
They definitely don’t want to feel like they have to fight for your attention against a little plastic block.
So if you’re the sort to slip your phone into your pocket and put it on silent, you’re doing better than most.
10) You bring the smiles
Whilst constant forced positivity can be off-putting, having an optimistic yet realistic outlook and aura will leave you standing out from the crowd.
You don’t have to live in a perpetual state of bliss (as we covered, perfection doesn’t come across as well as authenticity).
But if you consider yourself someone who naturally carries a good mood and a smile whenever possible, this does wonders in making you stand out from the crowd.
The pursuit of likability…
Isn’t the takeaway from this piece.
In no way should you spend your life trying to make people like you.
The good ones will do so naturally as your genuine and pure-hearted nature shines through.
Trying to force yourself into a box, to mould your character to fit certain stereotypes, or to otherwise change yourself to make yourself more ‘likable’ will inevitably end up doing the opposite.
People can see through insincerity, and tend to be put off by those who they consider to be faking it just for attention.
But hopefully you’ll leave feeling a little more elated and warmed by the fact that your presence has a glowing and warming effect on those around you, as you’re far more likable than you give yourself credit for.
