10 signs you’re in the wrong relationship, even if they’re a great person

Let’s face it, love isn’t always a walk in the park.

Sometimes, you might be with a terrific person but still be in a relationship that isn’t right for you.

Surprising, right? Well, not really.

Remember it’s not about finding someone who ticks boxes as a person. It’s about finding someone who is right for *you*.

I’ve put together a list of 10 signs that might mean you’re in the wrong relationship, even though your partner is a great person. 

1. You’re constantly making excuses for them

One of the first signs that you might be in the wrong relationship is if you find yourself regularly making excuses for your partner’s behavior.

This could range from justifying their hurtful words because ‘they had a bad day’ or ‘they didn’t really mean it’, to excusing their lack of time for you because ‘they’re just really busy’.

Sure, we all have off days and busy periods, but if this is more the rule than the exception, it might be time to re-evaluate.

In a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t have to make excuses for your partner. Their actions should speak for themselves and they should treat you with respect and consideration consistently.

Remember, being a great person doesn’t always translate into being a great partner.

2. You feel drained, not energized

In a good relationship, spending time with your partner should leave you feeling refreshed and energized. They should be a source of support and joy, not stress and exhaustion.

If you often feel mentally or emotionally drained after spending time with them, it’s a sign that something’s not right.

We all have tough days where we lean on our partner for support, but if it feels like you’re constantly dealing with negative energy, it could be a sign that this relationship isn’t right for you.

Even if your partner is a wonderful person, if they’re not making you feel good about yourself and your life together, it might be a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship.

The right person will add to your happiness, not detract from it.

3. You feel like you’re losing yourself

One of the clearest signs that I was in the wrong relationship, even though she was a great person, was when I started to feel like I was losing myself.

I began to notice that my interests, hobbies, and passions were taking a backseat to hers. She loved art and music, and soon enough, I found myself spending my free time in art galleries and concerts, even though those places aren’t me.

Give me a football game any day. 

While it’s great to share interests and try new things together, it is equally important to maintain your individuality in a relationship.

If you start feeling like you’re losing your identity or have to suppress your own interests for the sake of your partner’s, it’s a red flag.

Even if they’re an amazing person, if you can’t be yourself around them or feel the need to change who you are to make them happy, they might not be the right person for you.

4. You’re not excited about the future with them

When you’re in the right relationship, thinking about the future with your partner should fill you with excitement and anticipation.

But if instead, you’re feeling anxious or unsure about your shared future, it’s a sign that something might be off.

According to a study, how you feel at the beginning of a relationship can predict the relationship’s future success.

If you’re not excited or happy about a future with your partner from the get-go, it might be an indicator that this relationship isn’t the right one for you.

Even if they’re a wonderful person, if you can’t see them in your future, it might be time to reconsider.

5. You don’t feel secure

When you’re in a relationship with the right person, you feel safe – both emotionally and physically.

You know they have your back, they’ll stand up for you, and they’ll be there for you in the good times and the tough ones.

But if you’re constantly feeling insecure or anxious, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.

Maybe you’re always worried about what they’re thinking, or you’re unsure of their feelings towards you. Maybe you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, scared of upsetting them or causing an argument.

It’s not about being a perfect couple without arguments or disagreements – that’s unrealistic. But feeling secure and loved shouldn’t be a luxury in a relationship; it should be a given.

Even if your partner is the most wonderful person to everyone else, if they can’t make you feel secure and cherished in your relationship, it might be a sign that this isn’t the right relationship for you.

Your peace of mind is priceless, and the right person will provide that sense of security and comfort.

6. Your friends and family aren’t fans

In my past relationship, I noticed that my friends and family weren’t exactly thrilled about my partner.

They never said anything outright negative, but I could tell from their reactions and subtle comments that they didn’t think she was right for me.

And no matter how much I tried to convince them (and myself) about her greatness, they remained skeptical.

While it’s true that you’re the one in the relationship, not them, their outsider perspective can often spot things you might be too love-struck to see.

If the people who know you best and care about you aren’t big fans of your partner, it could be a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship.

7. You’re always fighting

Now, let’s get real.

If you’re always at each other’s throats, it’s a pretty clear sign that something isn’t right.

Sure, every couple has disagreements and arguments – it’s a normal part of being in a relationship. But if your daily routine involves more fighting than laughing, it’s time to take a step back and reconsider.

Even if your partner is the most amazing person in the world, if they bring out the worst in you more often than they bring out the best, it might be a sign that this relationship isn’t right for you.

Maybe if all you’re doing is fighting and hurting each other, then it’s probably not love after all. 

8. Your values don’t align

Having shared values is an essential part of a healthy and successful relationship.

If you value honesty while your partner sees no issue with occasional lying, or if you prioritize family while they’re more focused on their career, it’s a sign that there’s a fundamental misalignment.

According to a study, couples who share similar values and goals are more likely to stay together in the long run. Shared values create a strong foundation and help you navigate through life’s ups and downs together.

Even if your partner is a great person, if your core values and beliefs don’t align, it can create friction and misunderstandings.

It’s important to have these deep conversations early on to ensure you’re both on the same page about what matters most in life.

Because at the end of the day, love is not just about feeling good; it’s about building a life together based on shared values and mutual respect.

9. You’re not their priority

In my previous relationship, I noticed that I was always the one adjusting my plans to fit hers.

Whether it was changing my weekend plans to attend her friend’s party or missing my favorite game to help her with a project, it always seemed like her needs and wants came first.

It took me a while to admit it, but deep down, I realized that I wasn’t her priority. Sure, she cared about me and was a great person overall, but when it came down to choosing between me and something else she wanted, I was often second in line.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like they are a priority.

It’s not about always putting your partner first at the expense of your own needs, but about finding a balance where both of you feel valued and important.

If you feel like you’re always on the backburner or that your needs are not being considered, it could be a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship.

10. You’re just not happy

This is probably the most raw and honest sign of all – you’re just not happy.

There might not be any dramatic fights or clear-cut issues, but deep down, you just feel unhappy and unsatisfied.

They might be with the kindest, most caring person in the world, but if they’re not making you happy, then maybe they’re not the right person for you.

Remember, life is too short to settle for a relationship that doesn’t make you truly happy.

Wrapping up

Finding yourself in a relationship with a great person who isn’t right for you can be tough.

But remember that it’s okay to prioritize your happiness and well-being.

It’s okay to admit that even though they’re a wonderful person, they might not be the wonderful person for you.

Because at the end of the day, being in the right relationship isn’t just about being with a great person – it’s about being with a great person who makes you feel great about yourself and your life together.

Picture of Brendan Brown

Brendan Brown

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