Once you and your partner move on from the giddy honeymoon phase of your new relationship, most unions fall into a familiar, comfortable rhythm. With any luck at all, a couple’s shared experiences bring them closer and strengthen their bond.
Along the way, couples will inevitably experience rough patches in their relationship. While bumps in the road are to be expected, they can also suggest unaddressed issues between couples, and cast doubt whether you’re truly right for each other.
So, how do you know if you’re invested in the right person? Can you know? How do you know if your relationship can withstand the test of time?
You could shake your Magic 8 ball to find out, but perusing the following list of signs that you’re in the right relationship would probably be a better use of your time.
1)They’re easy to be around
Comfort is key when assessing whether a partner is a good fit for you. If you’re at ease with this person and not on edge, that’s one for the plus column.
If you spend less than 30 minutes deciding what movie to watch, you’ve got a keeper.
Now, this doesn’t mean you won’t have your moments. The odd argument or occasional tension is not only normal but healthy.
But if the overall vibe of your relationship is chill and you can be yourself, that’s a promising sign.
2) You can be yourself
You should always feel free to speak your mind and broach difficult subjects because you know your sweetie won’t judge or withhold their love as punishment.
Being able to show your true colors from the very onset of a relationship is a good predictor of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Your partner still treats you with understanding even when you aren’t at your most lovable, like when you’re moody, down with the flu, or going through a challenging time emotionally.
You complement each other, making rough patches easier to navigate.
3) You complement each other
Opposites may attract, but a partner who complements you is a better bet in the long run.
Is your boo the life of the party, while you’re more reserved? Are they slow and methodical while you’re quick to action?
If your qualities bring a sense of balance to each other and your relationship and you share the same values, that’s a good indication that you’re with the correct person.
4) You share the same values
Do you and your partner share similar worldviews? Do your morals, values, and beliefs sync up? Can you watch the news and not start yeeting things at each other?
This is different from shared hobbies or interests. These are your core values, the things that make you tick.
Sharing key values is a major indication of a healthy relationship because you actually like as well as love each other.
5) You’re “In Like”
If you consider your partner one of your closest friends, or even your best friend, it’s far more likely that you’re with the right person.
Passion is one thing. But genuinely liking who your partner is as a person is undervalued, even though it’s easier to fan the flames of love when you like each other as individuals and enjoy each other’s company.
When you are friends as well as lovers, you can truly bring out the best in each other.
6) Your best version
Do you like who you are when you’re around your love? Do they encourage you to do better and be better?
If your partner is content with the person you are right now but also encourages you to push yourself to reach your goals, you’ve hit the relationship jackpot.
And, of course, you also love who they are right now but want to see them reach their full potential. You support each other’s efforts to be “better” and evolve into who you want to be as individuals.
You learn from one another as a matter of course while climbing toward your couple and individual goals. This is a sign pointing to the longevity of your union.
7) You learn from each other
A relationship that teaches you new things can be incredibly stimulating. If you’re not growing thanks to your union it could stagnate and become unfulfilling.
But if you’re learning new outlooks on life and different ways of doing things, you’re becoming a more well-rounded version of yourself thanks to your partner, your go-to guy or gal.
8) Your partner is your go-to
If you get a raise, pass a test, or just have a great hair day, who’s the first person you want to tell?
If it’s your partner, that’s an excellent sign for your relationship. Friendship is the bedrock we build romantic love on. Successful romantic love, anyway.
And the same holds true with the bad stuff in life. If your honey is the first person you reach out to, it shows you value them as your main source of comfort.
And if your nearest and dearest share your enthusiasm for your person, it’s a lock.
9) Your friends and family approve
While your own assessment of your relationship carries far more weight than that of an outsider since you and your SO are the only ones in it — getting an objective opinion still holds cakes, particularly if you’re second-guessing yourself.
So if the well-intentioned people who love you are supportive of your relationship and are happy for you, chances are you’re with the right person.
Respect is another metric used to measure the potential success of a relationship.
10) R-E-S-P-E-C-T
During an argument with your significant other, do you feel safe? Do you still feel respected in the heat of battle?
If your answer to either of these questions is “no,” odds are this is not the person for you.
In a secure, healthy relationship, you’re not dealing with yelling, lying, or name-calling. This behavior is unacceptable even if you share amazing chemistry.
11) You’ve got chemistry
Even if you’re harboring doubt, consider whether you still feel that intangible but oh-so-necessary spark of chemistry — that unmistakable easy, flirty, fun vibe that brought you together in the first place.
Chemistry is hard to measure, but when you have it, it’s unmistakable to you and everyone around you.
If you’re going through a rough patch (hey, it happens) but that chemistry is still there, it’s another sign that you two are a good match, especially if you’re really trying to hear what your partner has to say.
12) You are actively listening
If you and your partner pay close attention to not only what’s being said but how it’s said, chances are you’re with the right person.
Active listening is a sign of love and respect, and requires a lot more effort than just nodding along and smiling.
Do you and your partner share taking the lead in conversation? Does your partner remember the things you’ve told them?
If so, your partner values your opinions and is heavily invested in building healthy communication patterns with you.
13) You’re willing to put the work in
All relationships undergo a natural ebb and flow, so challenges are to be expected. If you two are going through a rough patch but you’re still willing to acknowledge your problems and find solutions, the relationship is absolutely worth it.
These actions indicate you want to make the relationship work because there’s value in it for you.
And in matters of the heart, actions definitely speak louder than words.
14) Actions speak louder than words
In relationships, you want to put your money where your mouth is with your significant other.
If your partner keeps promising you a night out or that they’ll make dinner, but there’s zero follow-through, it could be a red flag.
But if your partner is willing to keep their commitments with you, that’s the greenest of green lights for the success of your relationship.
But at the end of the day, if you’re in the right relationship, odds are you’ll just know.
You just “know”
So, is your partner right for you? Let’s face it, there’s no definitive answer as to whether a partner is right for you or not. It involves serendipity, luck, and chemistry.
But when you have it, you probably just know it. More powerful than a hunch, more profound than a gut feeling, this knowing springs from deep within your soul.
If you know, you know.
