Let me guess.
You’ve been going in circles for who knows how long. Apart from a few tweaks here and there, every day is the same. And you’re tired.
Deep down, you’re itching for more.
But how can you tell a major life reset is genuinely what you need? How can you be certain that the risk is well worth it?
Let’s try to point you in the right direction. These are the 7 signs a huge shakeup might be the best thing for you right now – even if it’s scary.
1) You detest Mondays
“Isn’t a dislike for Mondays a universal thing, though?” might be the first question that popped into your mind when you saw the heading of this section.
I’m sorry to break it to you, but the answer is no.
I, for one, love Mondays. They signal a new beginning of an exciting week, after all (I can see that sarcastic smirk on your face!). And plenty of other people I know agree with me.
Not everyone is in the same boat, however.
According to psychologist Thomas Rutledge, Ph.D, “Monday is associated with the highest levels of emotional stress, the lowest rates of work productivity, and higher rates of suicides for both men and women.”
He further says that “these adverse psychological and behavioral outcomes are paralleled with remarkable precision by increases in negative physical health outcomes such as workplace accidents and even strokes and heart attacks.”
Ruthledge explains that this has a lot to do with changes in our sleeping patterns – you’ve slept in on the weekend and suddenly have to wake up early again – but there’s a high chance it’s also connected to our mood and stress levels based on how much we enjoy our job.
And it probably comes as no surprise that many people out there aren’t exactly ecstatic to come back to the office on a Monday morning.
If you’re part of that crowd, keep reading for further signs you might need to change things up.
2) You’re reliving the same old story
For some while now, you’ve felt like your life is just… boring.
Very few things excite you. Really, it’s the same old story – go to work, go home, eat, watch TV, go to sleep, go to work. Look forward to the weekend only to realize you’re so exhausted you spend the whole Saturday lying in bed.
Rinse and repeat.
By the end of every day, you’re so exhausted not just from work but from the pointlessness of it all that you can’t even bring yourself to do something good for your mental health.
And that’s where the crux of the problem lies.
You have no project. No hobby that sparks fire within you. Nothing to look forward to. And that lack of purpose is what is slowly, painfully, draining you.
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and founder of logotherapy, built his whole methodology around helping his clients find meaning in life because he recognized just how vital it was to our happiness.
If you’re stuck in the same old story, it’s time to write a new one.
3) Time passes too quickly or too slowly
Time is very relative. If you’re deeply submerged in a certain task, it goes by in a snap of a finger; if you’re bored, it drags by for an eternity.
When you’re in need of a major life reset, it could be either of those. Here’s what I mean:
- Option A: Your life lacks purpose, but you’re so stressed out by work and various responsibilities that time quickly passes you by, and before you know it, you realize you’ve spent months or years doing something that doesn’t fulfil you on a fundamental level
- Option B: Your life lacks purpose and your work is so soul-draining that you’re counting down the minutes till you can leave every single day, making you feel like you’re stuck in an infinite hell
People who live life in a way that nourishes their souls tend to perceive the passing of time as just right.
Even if it goes by quickly, they have done enough meaningful work to feel accomplished. And even if it goes by slowly, they savour the present moment for what it is.
In other words, time is their friend no matter what because they always manage to fill it with something they genuinely enjoy.
4) You often catch yourself daydreaming about a better life
First things first: daydreaming isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
In fact, experts say that realistic daydreams help us see the possibilities of how our lives may unfold and pursue our goals with more determination.
The issue is that some people don’t use daydreams as fuel to take action in the real world; instead, they drown in them and use them to dissociate from reality.
When this is taken too far, it turns into maladaptive daydreaming, which is a mental health issue where one spends hours losing themselves in their imagination.
As someone who used to daydream excessively, I can honestly say that it does say a great deal about how much you like your life – and how much you need to change it.
5) You envy those who have made their dreams a reality
This one’s pretty hard to admit, isn’t it?
No one wants to look themselves in the eye and say, “I envy people who are seemingly doing better than me.”
It might bring up feelings of shame, guilt, frustration, and even self-loathing. But it’s also a vital part of recognizing that you do, indeed, need to shake things up.
Because envy is rooted in insecurity. You’re worried you’re not “good enough” to make your dreams come true. You’re nervous about all the what ifs. You’re afraid to take the leap.
Really, envy is admiration hidden behind fear.
And as coach and wellness expert Susan Biali Haas M.D. says, “Envy can be a useful indication of our own dreams and desires for life.”
So, if you often find yourself feeling envious of what others have accomplished… it’s another sign you may need to muster up the courage to finally go after your goals.
6) You grumble and complain a great deal
Everyone complains sometimes. Complaining often brings us closer to each other, helps us bond (we love to have a common enemy), and gives us space to vent.
But the frequency with which you complain and the kinds of complaints you make are what determine just how dissatisfied you really are with your life.
According to Robert Biswas-Diener, a researcher on happiness, there are three types of complaining:
- Instrumental complaining: serves to bring up a real issue and find a solution
- Venting: allows us to express emotional dissatisfaction and receive validation
- Chronic complaining: is employed by people who are never truly happy, ruminate on problems, and make complaining a habit so much so that their brains learn to highlight the negative things in life
As you might have already guessed, chronic complaining is the real culprit here. It shows you are so deeply unhappy that you can’t help but grumble about everything and anything.
7) Your intuition is telling you it’s time for a new beginning
“Intuition is an important form of emotional data that can keep you safe and successful,” writes psychotherapist Erin Leonard, Ph.D.
And while gut feelings are obviously very important when it comes to detecting danger, they also guide us in ways you might not have even realized.
In fact, there is a very crucial link between the gut and the brain, and oftentimes, your body knows something before your conscious thoughts manage to catch up – especially when you’re in denial about what you want out of life, rationalizing all your problems away and trying to ignore what your intuition is trying to tell you.
Well, there’ll be no more of that.
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Listen up.
What is it you feel compelled to do? What is the one thing that you feel pulled towards?
That might be your new beginning, waiting for you to seek it out.
