12 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who is deeply self-centered

Dealing with a self-centered partner can be tough. 

They always seem to have a “me, myself, and I” philosophy and always takes the spotlight in your relationship—as if everything revolves around them. 

It’s sad and I know it can be hard, but that’s what we’re here for. 

We’ve all been there (I know I have), and we all know how important it is to recognize the signs of a self-centered partner. 

If you want to understand what you might be dealing with, we’ve got 12 signs that show you’re with someone who is deeply self-centered. 

Don’t worry—you’re not alone in this, because we’ve got your back. 

1) They make everything about them

The mark of a self-centered partner is their main character syndrome

It’s always me, me, me. No matter what the topic is, they always find a way to circle it back to them. 

You could be discussing how someone’s dog died and they will somehow find a way to connect it to their self-esteem issues.

And if you don’t understand why or how they do this, it’s because they have an never-ending thirst for attention and validation

They think they’re the main character in a never-ending narrative, and you’re just there to provide an audience.

So if you feel alone even when you’re with them, don’t ever think it’s a you problem. It’s them. 

2) They twist your reality

When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s deeply self-centered, they have a knack for making you question your own memories. 

They tell you things like: 

“That’s not what happened.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“I never said that.” 

It leaves you questioning your reality, wondering if you’re losing your mind. 

And what’s worse is the trauma that lingers for years, as you question everything else outside of the relationship.

It’s one of the worst things a person could possibly experience—and if you did, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.

3) They take everything as a personal attack

Everything is an argument when you have a self-centered partner.

You could simply be looking for the remote control, and somehow you’ll end up being called selfish and inconsiderate of their needs even when the problem can be easily solved if they just helped looking for it.

It’s not that they’re sensitive; it’s more about their inability to handle any situation where they’re not the center of approval. 

Criticism or differing opinions feel like an assault on their self-image, triggering a defensive response that can escalate minor issues into major conflicts.

And if you find that everything escalates into a bad argument with your partner, that may be a sign that they’re deeply self-centered

4) They don’t consider your feelings or opinions

Your emotions and viewpoints often take a backseat when you’re with a deeply self-centered partner.

Decisions are made with little to no regard for how they might affect you, because it’s always about them.

It can leave you feeling like you don’t matter, but I’m here to tell you that you do. Don’t let a self-centered person make you feel you’re not worthy, because you are.

5) They dislike everything

Deeply self-centered partners dislike everyone and everything. 

That’s why they don’t have friends

Perhaps you’d given them the chance when they said “everybody leaves me” and you told yourself you’d be the one who stays, but now you understand why no one does.

And it’s because having to handle their constant battle with themselves is exhausting. 

Know that it’s not your personal failure to save them from themselves—they’re the only one who can do that, and you can only do so much for a person who doesn’t want to change.

6) They make everything a competition

When you’re with a self-centered person, you’ll find that your achievements are often seen as a challenge to their superiority. 

Instead of being genuinely happy for you, they feel the need to one-up you. 

I’m sure it makes you feel like your successes are not valid, but they are. 

You deserve to celebrate each one of your successes, and you certainly deserve more than a person who constantly undermines them.

Because they make everything a competition, they also compete against everyone else in your life. 

7) They think they should be the only person in your life

emotionally immature people sabotage their relationships 12 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who is deeply self-centered

When you’re with a self-centered partner, they feel entitled to your time and attention. 

They might even get jealous or upset when you choose to spend time with friends or family, and it could even make you feel guilty. 

But you shouldn’t feel guilty for having a life outside of them.

If they expect you to make them the sole focus of your attention and affection, they’re not good for you.

That’s because good partners will actually encourage you to have a life outside of them, not the other way around. 

8) They justify/excuse all their mistakes

Apologies from a self-centered partner are rare, and it’s often accompanied by a laundry list of reasons why their actions were justified. 

You’re probably familiar with phrases like:

“I only did that for you.”

“I did it to protect you.”

“I did it for us.”

But that’s not true. 

Most of the time, they do it for themselves—because they’re deeply self-centered and they can’t help it.

But when they do apologize, it’s never sincere.

9) Their apologies are insincere

There’s never a sincere apology when it comes to self-centered partners.

When they apologize, it often goes like this: I’m sorry you felt that way.

Or: I’m sorry you felt offended/hurt by that. 

And neither is an actual apology. 

To apologize means to know that you’re wrong, not to tell the other person they’re wrong for feeling the way they did about an action you’ve done.

And if you ever felt like you’re responsible for your partner’s feelings when they’re the ones who should be sorry, know that I see you. 

You don’t deserve to go through all of that, and I truly hope you find someone who treats you as a person they love—not just an accessory they could show off to their friends in parties.

10) They treat you as an accessory

In social situations, they might use you as a prop to enhance their image. 

Which is beyond dehumanizing. 

No one deserves to be treated like that—you are your own person, and you deserve to be celebrated as you are, not just as someone’s property

11) They make false accusations

When things don’t go their way, they might resort to blaming you for situations that aren’t your fault. 

They’re quick to point fingers without evidence, and because they’ve already twisted your reality, you’re often convinced that you truly are the one to blame

But you’re not, because you don’t have to take accountability for mistakes you didn’t make. 

12) They care more about themself than you or the relationship

More than anything else, a deeply self-centered person prioritizes their needs, desires, and ambitions.

I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. 

You’re more than just an afterthought. You deserve to be remembered for the little things that make you up, to be treated with care and love.

It can be hard to leave and end the cycle, but when you do, I swear you’ll never feel more free. 

Final thoughts

No one deserves to be in a relationship with someone who is deeply sef-centered.

Remember, you deserve a relationship where your feelings, opinions, and needs are respected, and you shouldn’t settle for any less than that. 

It might be challenging, but seeking open communication, setting boundaries, and, if needed, seeking professional guidance can help you find healthier relationships

Above all, you should prioritize your own well-being, and remember that you are deserving of a relationship with someone who treats you with utmost respect, care, and love.

Picture of Joyce Ann Isidro

Joyce Ann Isidro

Joyce is a writer who believes in the power of storytelling and changing lives by writing stories about love, relationships, and spirituality. A bookworm and art enthusiast, she considers herself a creative-at-heart who likes to satisfy her childish wonder through new hobbies and experiences.

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