Whether you’re considering a potential new partner or wondering whether to remain in your current relationship or not, there is one crucial question you should be asking yourself:
“Does this person treat me with respect?”
Mutual respect is one of the strongest indicators that a relationship is both worthwhile and healthy. Although love and respect are closely connected they’re not the same, so assess both factors independently when evaluating the strength of your own relationship.
To help you do so, here’s some evidence that your partner really respects you.
1) They listen to you
One important way people show respect is by letting their partner have the floor when they need it. We all need an ear and a shoulder now and then.
If your person has respect for you, they care about your feelings. They’ll listen closely to what you’re saying instead of making the discussion about themselves.
2) You’re included in their plans
If your partner respects you, you’ll be included in their plans every time.
If you’re important in their life they won’t make plans for the future, be it next week or next year, without considering how it will affect you. So, if your person is talking about a cross-country move next year and isn’t taking your existence into consideration, let that be a warning.
3) They never leave you hanging
A respectful partner won’t blow you off, flake on plans, or ignore your text messages. End of story. If they respect your time, they will prioritize your relationship.
Read that bit again.
If your partner is forever canceling plans or never returns your calls, they are clearly disrespecting you.
Read that again, too.
4) Your opinion matters
There’s nothing worse than stating your opinion during a discussion with your honey and being shut down and dismissed. Ouch.
Whether they agree with your view or not isn’t the point. Someone who respects you will want to hear your thoughts and be eager to discuss the finer points. They’ll be curious about your thought process and will want to dive right in.
In fact, they take your opinion so seriously they regularly ask for it and take your advice very seriously. After all, who doesn’t want a partner who can give sage advice, point out different perspectives, and offer mental stimulation to boot?
So if you’re with a person who laughs when you state your opinion and completely dismisses it, not only are they disrespectful they also need to grow up.
5) They’re honest with you
Respect and honesty are closely intertwined. If your partner really respects you, they will be honest about everything, from the mundane to their most intimate thoughts.
Do they tell you where they’re going and who they’re going to be with without you having to prompt them? If you’re curious about their current mood, are they willing to broach it with you?
If your partner isn’t afraid to reveal every facet of themselves to you, it’s safe to say they want a relationship dynamic based on honesty and trust.
They reach out to you when they need a confidante because they know you’ll support them unconditionally. Most importantly, they know you can be trusted with their secrets.
6) Your goals are important
Does your person encourage you to pursue your dreams? Do they emphasize how much they believe in you and your abilities? Is your partner your biggest cheerleader?
A good relationship nurtures each person’s individual development as well as your growth as a couple. So your partner will be excited for you when you’re busy tackling new projects because they know you’re working toward your goals.
7) They fight fair
If your relationship includes demeaning language, hitting below the belt, or physical violence of ANY kind, run away as fast as your legs will carry you.
Now. Right now.
While all couples get into arguments, respect should still be evident no matter how heated the discussion. If arguing with your significant other starts to feel like an endless war on your psyche, you’re being treated disrespectfully.
8) You go on actual dates
If your partner wants to show you a good time as well as show you off a bit, that’s a good indication that they are proud of you.
Whether your relationship is brand new or you’ve been together for ages, your person will continue working to win you over. No complacency here, folks.
Taking you out shows respect because they’re publicly acknowledging how important you are to them. They are making a statement by being willing to wine and dine you, and that statement is that they’ll never stop wooing you.
And how lovely is that?
9) They’re not the jealous type
If you have an emotionally balanced relationship, your partner encourages you to socialize and enjoy time with your circle of friends and family, with or without them being present.
They believe in the strength of your union and trust you implicitly. If that’s not top-tier respect I don’t know what is.
10) They’re available to you
Is your boo there for you when you reach out to them? If you need them, especially in a pinch, are they available to you?
And yes, people have jobs and such. Life gets in the way sometimes. But is the effort made?
If so, you’re a priority to them.
Whether you’re going through a rough time or everything’s coming up roses, your partner will either want to comfort you or celebrate with you, whatever the case may be.
11) Your need for space is acknowledged
You love your person, but you’re also building a life outside of your relationship. Maybe you’re getting an education or climbing the career ladder. The bottom line is that you’re busy enriching your own life.
If your partner is supportive of your need for autonomy and exercises their own as well, they’re a keeper.
Your person has the insight to realize that two people can forge their own paths without growing apart or sacrificing the relationship. They’re more interested in spending quality time together than being attached at the hip every waking moment.
12) They’re a cheap date
You know what’s fantastic? When you’re exhausted and stressed out, and your partner is the first to suggest a chill night in.
Is your person equally enamored of you whether you’re in jewels or jeans? Then you have an S.O. who values all of your versions because they’re part of their favorite person.
13) You get their undivided attention
First, Be sure to separate being needy from wanting to feel wanted. That’s a fine line that’s easily obscured at times.
Don’t ask me how I know.
When someone respects you, they want to be with you and fully engage when you’re together. If you’re apart, they’ll check in regularly so you two can catch up with each other.
They are attentive without being annoyingly clingy.
If your partner is unavailable either physically or emotionally, it’s time to move on and invest your time in someone who’s willing to match your energy.
14) They involve you in their life
If you’ve been dating someone for a while it makes sense that you’ll be introduced to each other’s friends and family. If this isn’t the case in your situation, you need to ask yourself why.
Your partner will involve you in their day-to-day life and will also want to be included in yours. This is part of the give and take in a healthy relationship.
Respect isn’t just about how you’re treated when things are hunky dory; it’s also about their behavior when things are rocky. In fact, the health of your relationship is better judged by its strength during challenging times.
Remember that you deserve nothing less than a partner who respects you and values your relationship on your bad days as well as your good ones.