7 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who deeply values you

I was recently in a relationship with a person I believed to be: “The One.”

I thought I had finally got it right, but it turns out, there were just a few (crucial) elements missing. I’ll come back to this throughout this article.

I’m not sure whether you believe in the concept of “The One”,  and to be honest, I’m not sure I do either.

Wherever you stand on the matter, I like to think that the person you’re going to end up with, the person who is going to be that significant person in your life, that they will treat you well.

But what does this look like for us? To me, it comes down to the way they value you and hold you dear.

This can mean anything from assuming the very best of you, to cherishing you for who you really are—warts and all.

While I may not have found this person in my life just yet—I know that these are qualities I need to look out for. And because of this, I will be ready when real love shows up. More than ready!

If you’re looking for a handful of tell-tale signs that confirm that your partner values you on a deep level, read on.

We’re going to start with one of my favorites: they don’t push you away. 

1) They don’t try to push you away and test you

When your partner doesn’t push you away, it’s a surefire sign that they truly appreciate you

Why? Because they don’t want a world without you in it, so they sure as heck won’t do anything to jeopardize that.

For me, it comes down to trust. Something that I found to be lacking in my last relationship.

Of course, I trusted him—which was unusual for me—but I never received that same trust in return. 

If you’re in a committed relationship with someone who trusts you, they will trust your commitment to them—and they aren’t making you prove it constantly. 

It kind of goes back to those times when we were young and immature and tried to play hard to get or stirred up unnecessary trouble to gauge our crush’s reaction. As we all know, this can be emotionally draining.

An SO who truly values you won’t put you through that—trust me! They’re not interested in testing your limits, rather, they appreciate who you are and focus on building a relationship that will stand the test of time.

And I can tell you this from personal experience: someone who constantly pushes you away will only create a whole lot of instability and insecurity. 

You might not feel the weight of this treatment at first, but over time (be it weeks, months, or years) it will hit you like a wave, like it did for me.

Someone who values you deeply doesn’t want you through the emotional ringer. 

Instead, it will be their priority to create an environment where you feel secure, loved, and confident in your bond.

2) They don’t place unfair expectations on you

If your partner refrains from setting unrealistic standards for you, it shows genuine appreciation for what you bring to the relationship.

By doing this, they have tossed aside the unachieveable and unrealistic checklist and replaced it with a sincere acknowledgment of your efforts.

Why does this matter so much in the scheme of love? Because it creates a space where you feel valued.

They are not there expecting you to fulfill their every whim without considering your own needs or limitations as a human being.

If you’ve found a love like this, this is something worth holding onto. Tight.

3) They care for you, in covert and overt ways

Have you ever experienced someone being there for you in ways that make you feel seen and cared for, even without explicitly expressing your desires? 

Maybe it’s the impromptu courgette spaghetti they cook for you or simply the kind text sent during a hectic day at work.

People who cherish you have this rare ability to understand and anticipate your needs. 

It’s not about grand gestures, rather, it’s the small, everyday moments that carry a whole lot of emotional significance.

So, why is this so important? It’s about feeling valued, understood, and acknowledged in the mundane moments of life. It’s about having someone consistently by your side.

4) They assume the best of you

zodiac signs who stick by their partners side through thick and thin 7 signs you're in a relationship with someone who deeply values you

Imagine you’ve had a rough day at the office and you come home to your partner. You are definitely not feeling your best.

The atmosphere is tense and you’re not all that careful with your words. 

And there is your partner. Rather than being put off by your different energy, they are full of empathy.

They don’t twist your words, your moods, or your actions and internalize them. They realize the context: you’ve had a really rubbish day.

This is the mark of a partner who assumes the best of you, and in turn, values you on a deep level.

They genuinely believe that you’re doing your best—that your intentions are good, even when the execution is a bit off.

And I know I’ve mentioned this before, but this also links back to trust.

When someone doesn’t constantly question your motives, it’s like they’re saying, in a huge way, that they have a deep well of trust for you.

5) They love you for who you are

When someone loves you for who you are, it goes beyond the surface level.

Think about the times you’ve shared your vulnerabilities, those moments when you let your guard down and revealed the raw, messy version of your true self.

A partner who values you wholeheartedly not only accepts those vulnerabilities but sees them as strengths—as defining characteristics of you.

This level of understanding isn’t just about love, rather, it’s about respect and admiration for the complexity of you.

I learned this the hard way: it is easy to love someone at their best, but real devotion and real love comes when you need to love someone at their most vulnerable.

6) They make an effort to involve you in various aspects of their life

When your SO takes the initiative and makes a huge effort to usher you into their life—be it with invites to family lunches or embracing their ultra-specific hobbies—it’s more than just a relationship milestone.

It’s actually a major indicator that they value you in a profound and meaningful way.

It also embodies a deep level of intimacy and trust—clearly they imagine a future where both of you are major parts in each other’s stories.

Actively involving each other in your lives is a wonderful recipe for making a lasting connection.

These shared experiences can only add to the foundation of your relationship.

7) They don’t try and self-sabotage and generate conflict 

A special trait that hints at deep appreciation in a relationship is a person’s ability to sidestep unnecessary conflict.

I want you to think about the last argument you had with someone close to you. 

Did it end up being a fair and reasonable conversation, or a wild storm of emotions where regrettable things were said?

A partner who actively avoids self-sabotage and conflict is someone who opts for collaboration over fights.

Final thoughts

To sum things up, someone values you when they make conscious efforts to do so.

They think of you in ways, big and small. Whether it’s making you a cup of your favorite herbal tea or showing up for you when you may not fully deserve it.

They also accept you and love you for who you are—and don’t place unreasonable demands on you.

If you feel like you’ve found that person, who has a deep, authentic appreciation for you, hold onto it. And remember this: make sure that they feel similarly valued in return.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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