10 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you

Ever felt like you’re not being treated right in your relationship? That feeling when your partner doesn’t seem to value you?

It’s tough, I know. Not all relationships are smooth sailing, and sometimes, one person might feel like they’re being put down or ignored.

That’s something needs fixing.

Let’s dive into 10 signs that suggest your partner might not respect you. If you’re often feeling undervalued, this list could give you some clarity.

1. They don’t listen to you

Ever felt like you’re talking to a wall?

We’ve all been there.

One of the biggest signs that your partner doesn’t respect you is when they don’t really listen to what you’re saying. You might be pouring your heart out about your day, your worries or your dreams, and they just seem disinterested or distracted. They may cut you off mid-sentence or not respond at all.

This isn’t about them having a bad day or being tired once in a while. We’re talking about a pattern here.

If they constantly show a lack of interest in your thoughts and feelings, it’s a clear sign they’re not valuing you as they should.

2. They constantly criticize you

Okay, let’s talk about criticism.

It’s one thing to give constructive feedback, but it’s an entirely different story when your partner is always finding faults and pointing out your flaws.

If they’re constantly criticizing you, from the way you dress to how you talk or even eat, then that’s a big red flag.

Now, remember there’s a difference between helpful advice and hurtful criticism. Constructive criticism helps you grow, while hurtful criticism only brings you down.

So, if your partner is always pointing out your mistakes and never appreciating your good qualities, then it might be a sign that they don’t respect you.

3. They don’t value your time

Here’s a big one – valuing your time.

I remember when I was in a relationship where my partner would always show up late for our dates or even cancel at the last minute without any genuine reason. It was frustrating, to say the least.

At first, I shrugged it off, thinking they were just busy or bad at time management. But as the pattern continued, I realized it was a sign of disrespect.

When someone respects you, they respect your time. They won’t keep you waiting without a good reason, and they certainly wouldn’t cancel plans on a whim.

If this sounds all too familiar to you, then it’s time to address it.

4. They don’t include you in important decisions

Did you know that one of the most common reasons for arguments in relationships is decision-making?

Yep, it’s true! When your partner doesn’t include you in important decisions, it’s not only frustrating but also a sign of disrespect.

Decisions, especially those that affect both parties in a relationship, should be made together. Whether it’s about moving to a new place, planning a vacation, or even something as simple as choosing a new couch for your living room – your opinion should matter.

If your partner is making all the decisions without consulting you or dismissing your opinions as irrelevant, they are not showing you the respect you deserve. 

5. They don’t support your dreams

Every one of us has dreams – big or small, wild or grounded. They are a part of who we are.

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you would naturally expect them to support your dreams and goals.

But what if they don’t?

If your partner constantly belittles your ambitions, laughs at your dreams or discourages you from pursuing your passions, it’s a heart-wrenching sign that they might not respect you.

It’s like they’re saying that your dreams don’t matter, and by extent, neither do you.

6. They make fun of you in front of others

This one hits close to home for me.

I used to be in a relationship where my partner would constantly make fun of me in front of our friends. At first, I brushed it off, thinking they were just joking around. But as time went by, the ‘jokes’ became more frequent and more hurtful.

I started to feel embarrassed and belittled.

If your partner often makes fun of you, especially in public, it’s a sign that they don’t respect you. Sure, playful teasing is a part of many relationships, but there’s a fine line between harmless fun and disrespectful behavior.

If their ‘jokes’ leave you feeling small and hurt instead of making you laugh, it’s a problem.

7. They don’t apologize

Alright, let’s get real here. We all mess up. We all make mistakes. That’s just part of being human. But the important thing is to own up to those mistakes and say sorry when we’ve done something wrong.

But what if your partner never apologizes?

If your partner has a habit of never saying sorry, or worse, blames you for their mistakes, that’s a raw sign they don’t respect you. It’s as if they’re saying their actions don’t have consequences or that they’re above apologizing.

That’s not okay.

Admitting when you’re wrong shows maturity and respect for the other person. It says, “I value you and our relationship more than my ego.”

8. They don’t respect your boundaries

According to psychologists, setting and respecting boundaries is a key component of a healthy relationship.

But what if your partner constantly pushes your boundaries or completely ignores them?

If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries – personal, emotional, or physical – it’s a sign that they don’t respect you. Maybe they pressure you into doing things you’re uncomfortable with, dismiss your feelings, or invade your personal space.

If your partner can’t respect your boundaries, they’re not giving you the respect you deserve.

9. They don’t show appreciation

I remember a time when I put a lot of effort into planning a surprise birthday party for my partner.

I was excited to see their reaction, but all I got was a nonchalant ‘thanks’. No real appreciation or acknowledgement of the effort I’d put in. It was really disheartening.

If your partner doesn’t show appreciation for the things you do, big or small, it’s a sign that they might not respect you.

Everyone wants to feel acknowledged and valued in a relationship. A simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I appreciate this’ can go a long way in making someone feel loved and respected.

If your partner takes you for granted and doesn’t appreciate your efforts, that’s not okay. 

10. They don’t make an effort to understand you

Let’s be honest here. Relationships require understanding.

If your partner doesn’t make an effort to understand you, your feelings, your viewpoint, or your experiences, it’s a glaring sign they don’t respect you.

Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means acknowledging that we all have different experiences and perspectives.

If your partner dismisses or invalidates your feelings, they’re basically saying that your thoughts and feelings don’t matter.

And that’s not okay.

You deserve a partner who tries to walk in your shoes, and who respects your feelings even when they don’t fully understand them. 

Wrapping up

So there you have it—10 signs that your partner might not respect you.

Remember, everyone deserves respect in their relationships.

If you identify with these signs, it might be time for a heart-to-heart talk with your partner.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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