Men and women are entirely different. I think we can all agree with that. One of the main differences is just how much more women share, talk, discuss, and articulate what’s on their minds and what bothers them.
Men, on the other side, keep their emotions and feelings primarily for themselves. Many men don’t like sharing what’s on their minds, and one of the worst questions you can ask them is, “What are you thinking about right now?”
But an emotionally distant man is one more step above the usual unwillingness to share their emotions.
So, if you want to find out if you’re in a relationship with a kind but emotionally distant man, keep an eye on the following signs.
1) Not the chatty type
I need to admit something – I’m emotionally distant. A former boss described me as a robot when he was interviewing me (he later admitted that to me when we became friends).
But let me make one thing clear: although I’m emotionally distant, that doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions and feelings.
On the contrary:
I have a huge range of emotions and go through the same things emotionally as everyone else. I just don’t like to show on the outside what I’m feeling on the inside.
In that sense, I guess I’m not that different than most men. We’re taught to bottle our emotions up from a young age.
So, if you’re in a relationship with someone like me, he might be the strong, silent type, not spilling his thoughts and feelings readily.
Unfortunately, this can make it a bit challenging to know what’s going on in his head or heart. You have to pry it out.
2) Serious talks? Nah, not his thing
Conversations about deep emotions or serious topics might make your partner uncomfortable. Have you thought about that?
It’s not that he’s avoiding you; he might just struggle with those heavy discussions.
On the other side, he could also be shielding you from potential emotional burdens if he shared what’s on his mind at all times.
I know I’m worried about society and the world in general, and it sometimes keeps me up at night.
However, I don’t share these fears so much with my wife because if she knew I was terrified about these things, she’d be worried even more than she already is.
What I do is I try to downplay things and comfort her whenever she asks me if I’m afraid of the A.I., global warming, wars, etc.
That might not be the “correct” thing to do from my side, but I really think that’s the right thing to do at the moment.
3) Logic over feelings
Some men are also more logical than others. Your man might approach problems with a logical mindset instead of diving deep into emotions.
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel; he just processes things in a more analytical way.
For example, when faced with a problem or decision, he tends to weigh the pros and cons objectively, considering facts and evidence instead of relying solely on emotions.
His communication style is straightforward and to the point, emphasizing facts and information rather than expressing emotions in detail.
He prefers clarity over emotional nuances. That’s just the way he is, and there’s not much you can do about it.
4) Affection isn’t his strong suit
If you’re in a relationship with a kind but emotionally distant man, expressing love through physical touch or sweet words doesn’t come naturally to him.
It doesn’t imply he doesn’t care about you. He just shows it differently.
If he doesn’t say “I love you” as much as you’d want him to, he probably expresses affection through actions and deeds like helping out or surprising you with thoughtful gestures.
Both of these show how kind he is.
He also probably doesn’t offer so many compliments to you, but when he does, they carry weight, and you know they’re sincere and thoughtful.
They’re reflecting his genuine feelings instead of being just courtesy.
5) Mr. Independent
Emotionally distant men value their independence and prefer tackling issues on their own. It’s not because of a lack of trust. He just might be wired to handle things solo.
He likely has a strong belief in his ability to handle challenges on his own seeing it as a sign of strength and resilience.
In fact, many men pride themselves on being independent and self-reliant. I know I do.
It’s also a way of sparing your loved ones from potential stress or worry, showing a considerate approach to relationships.
6) Not the empathy guru
I sometimes find it challenging to pick up on subtle emotional cues or nuances in others, especially my wife.
This doesn’t mean I don’t care, but that I simply find it more challenging to decipher the emotional landscape of others.
I think that understanding and connecting with your feelings might be a bit tricky for your man, too.
He might generally want to be supportive, but expressing that support in emotionally charged situations may be a bit awkward for him and doesn’t come across as natural at all.
But here’s another problem you might be facing:
7) Compromise? What’s that?
Finding a middle ground in disagreements is tough for some men. It’s not necessarily a lack of willingness, but they just need some extra encouragement to meet in the middle.
But why is that?
There are many reasons. He probably likes things to stay the same and finds it tricky to deal with situations where things might change, like finding a middle ground in an argument.
He might also be scared that compromising means giving up something important to him instead of seeing it as finding a solution that works for both sides.
8) Distracted much?
When emotions start piling up, men simply hit the escape button. Staying busy becomes their quick exit from dealing with the emotional overload.
By staying busy, they feel like the boss of their own little world, steering clear of the chaos emotions can bring.
Think of it like trying to fix a car without the right tools. They don’t have the emotional toolkit to handle those feelings, so they stick to what they know – keeping busy.
9) Future plans on pause
Talking about the future of the relationship might make some men uneasy. It doesn’t mean they don’t see a future; they just need reassurance and a comfortable environment to discuss it.
I have a friend who was burned many times in the past, and the idea of committing to the future makes him uneasy.
It’s not that he doesn’t see a future with his current partner. He just needs reassurance that this time, it will be different.
Besides, many men feel the weight of societal expectations when it comes to the future of their relationship.
The constant barrage of questions like “When will you marry and have kids,” takes its toll on men just as it does on women.
That’s why, if you want him to open up about your future, you need to create a comfortable space to discuss it without him feeling pressured.
10) Hands-off with affection
And what about physical touch? Does your partner express love this way, or is he more reserved and keeps his hands to himself?
You see, for emotionally distant men, physical touch isn’t the go-to way of expressing love. It doesn’t suggest he’s not affectionate or kind; he might just express it through different means.
Such as surprising you with your favorite coffee or leaving you thoughtful notes. He might also spend quality time with you instead of spending it with his pals.
Here’s the last sign:
11) Closed-book body language
If your partner has a guarded body language, that doesn’t necessarily imply he’s hiding something. It might just be his default way of communicating.
That means that even in intimate moments, he has a tight body posture or limited facial expressions as he navigates his discomfort while fully engaging in emotions.
I’m not the most limber man in the world, and I already mentioned my boss thought I was a robot, basically.
Some of us are born with a stick up our ass.
Final thoughts
Emotional distant men often have trust issues, so affirming trust is crucial. Be patient and avoid pressuring him to open up. Let him know you’re there for him whenever he’s ready.
Ultimately, instead of pushing for a complete emotional disclosure, encourage small steps. It could be as simple as sharing thoughts about his day.
Gradual progress is key.
